SA last year and more stuff this year

[Crapdiem]

DH had an affair 16 months ago. It started in Jan 12 and went thru May 12. I had originally thought EA, went thru hell as he was leaving/staying/treated me like garbage and lied a billion times until he was caught (I found emails, pics, etc. Apparently the only person in the town who didnt know was me)

 

I agreed to stay. HE is military and went away for 3 months to school. I went to visit him and went thru his phone. On there he had texted a girl he met in the bar to ride the motorcycle with him. He was facebook messaging a single woman who lives in our town that we both know, and he called a girl that he knew from the last time he was out there. I knew NONE of it. He apologized and has said over and over how sorry he is.

 

His behavior? It is like he is two different people. He is sweet ot me, loving, affectionate. He loves our sons. But he drinks. A lot. He likes to go out and have a good time. He is the life of hte party. Most of the time when this stuff happens he is drunk/drinking.

 

I am so hurt and confused. We have been together 16 years, He is the only man I ever slept with and we have two truly amazing kids. I dont know what is worse for them: my leaving or my staying. So hurt and struggling. How can he be a good guy and an @sshole at the same time????!!!!

[GLDheart]

This guy is out of control. You need to distance yourself from him to protect yourself from him. Only he can decide when it's time to grow up. He needs to come to you if you want it your way... the grown up mature way...

 

I personally would exit stage left and go try to live without this guy's drama, but I get why you are invested.

 

Good luck, you have your hands full with this one.

[Balzac]

Military as in active duty career enlisted? The military offers services in abundance. How has he avoided military consequences for his boorish drunken behavior?

 

Seek counseling for yourself including alanon.