Re: need the mens view

[heartache]

I really messed up I guess. I had been dating M for a little over a year, until this last week. When we first met I turned him down because I was really scared to date anyone, then he got my phone # and called asking me out-persistant, so I gave in and said yes. It went on from there except I had explained I was still trying to overcome alcohol abuse problems, and my problem was serious at that time. I thought he understood. I moved to his town, and his family automatically assumed he was moving in with me, so i let him.

 

Come this spring we split up because I was having a real bad time drinking, my self esteem was so low I just wanted to crawl into abottle all day. I am happy to say that with alot of self persistance and one day at a time, I stopped drinking . We decided to try again, part of my drinking had been made worse by his never telling me why he would not tell me what was bothering him, I would always feel like I was doing something to cause his unhappiness, he promised to try to learn to communicate with me. Come July were buying a house together, stressful on anyrelationship. All of a sudden his mother is telling me that he had been lying to me about his past and financial stuff, I tried to talk to him without who was telling me these things, he figgered it out blew up at me, packed his stuff with out even saying he was leaving, and left. I was left with a mortgage on my own, but I got moved etc, then he calls me saying he loves me , but his dad said I can't call his parents house, where he moved back too, and that his dad is too ill now for him to know that M was still seeing me and wanted to be with me. He has totally confused me, so when he spent the night Thursday and doing what couples do, I was just teasing him, by refusing to let him kiss me when I was on top, kind-a the dominant female , but nothing abusive. Afterwards we made love again and I told him it was just for play and that I loved to kiss him always, always have from the first time we did kiss in that manner. He seemed very upset about it, because he came over on the saturday to help with some house repairs and he brought it up again. He seemed on Saturday like he did not want to be with me over night as he had previously said, so I said it's o.k. if you want to go, you don't have to stay, I can manage. He told me he would'nt be here if he did'nt want to be with me. We were talking about the house and the fact that I have to turn around and sell it, because I can't manage the mortgage on my own, and that my son is really upset with M and me because we have to move again. I was in tears and very stressed out, and as usual M said nothing, not one word, not one, what can I do to help, no I am sorry that I let you down by moving back to my parents, not a I feel bad or even a reassuring hug. So I am on my hands and knees with a wood chisel and trying to just benot to react to my thoughts and female emotions, and through the tears I missed and dropped the chisel, he was still standing there in silence. I yelled at him out of shear fustration, that the truth as to why I wouldn't kiss him the other night was because I loved him very much and I did'nt want to feel that way anymore. I went straight to my bedroom and cried until I calmed down only a few minutes. I thought he had gone to retrieve the chisel, as I came out the front door he was leaving in his truck. I tried to call him on his cell immediately but he would'nt answer. I have not heard from him since, and I am not sure what to do. I know he is very insecure about money and seems to do everything his parents say-almost a mommas boy, and he has been feeding both them and me little lines about his relationship. What did I say so wrong, does a man who is in love with you really get so upset about you not kissing him, or just how would he have been interpretting it? Sorry its so long. I am very heartbroken.

I kinda need a valid point of view ASAP!

 

the woman

[Tony T]

I get massive headaches from posts that are long and not broken up by standard three to four sentence paragraphs. Perhaps in your country, they do not use paragraphs...but break your post up with some space every four to six lines.

 

If you do this, you will get the responses you desire.

[heartache]

I get massive headaches from posts that are long and not broken up by standard three to four sentence paragraphs. Perhaps in your country, they do not use paragraphs...but break your post up with some space every four to six lines. If you do this, you will get the responses you desire.