StartingOver4 Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 Hello everyone. I'll try to keep this short. After being with my husband for 14 years (married for 8), my two small children and I moved out and into our own apartment exactly a week ago. I had been unhappy for a couple of years, had told him so, had begged him to attend counseling with me...and over time I fell out of love with him. We haven't had a "romantic" life in almost a year. Our issues are a lack of acceptance on his part, and a bit of core incompatibility that has become too difficult to ignore. Anyway, I have not regretted this decision. But I have been struggling mightily. The place to which we moved is an apartment in which we lived as a family a couple of years ago, and have been renting out. So this past weekend I was unpacking the things we bought and used when we were happy together, in the kitchen in which he proposed to me. And it was just too much. It was good that the kids were with their dad, because I was a mess. I realized I was grieving. I was grieving the loss of what used to be a very happy relationship. I haven't felt that way in a while, but I used to be very happy. It's just very sad to me that things have ended up this way. Then, today I woke up extremely angry - almost uncontrollably so. Here he is, completely unencumbered, while I struggle to put a home together for my kids and me. I just didn't think it would be this hard. I can handle a breakup. I can handle 2 kids alone. I can handle setting up an apartment. But all 3 at the same time?! It's all so overwhelming. Where's this relief/freedom/liberation everyone's talking about??? Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 "My two children" implies that you brought the children into the marriage? Surely you have misspoken. It is rough to begin anew and it's waaaay to soon to have much "relief". Hang in there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author StartingOver4 Posted September 14, 2012 Author Share Posted September 14, 2012 Oops - sorry. They're our two children. I guess it being just the 3 of us most days has made it seem like they're "mine". Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 Hah I thought so! Welcome to LS and the many supportive, knowledgeable, helpful folks here. Your new life in an apt filled with a ghostly past must be evoking huge emotion. How awful. It's a time of rapidly cycling magical thinking, anger, denial and resentment. The most I can offer in the way of opinion is that being w/o one's children is very sad, lonely and frustrating. It gets better as you build a new life and settle in. Link to post Share on other sites
Author StartingOver4 Posted September 14, 2012 Author Share Posted September 14, 2012 Thank you. You summed it up pretty well. My feelings are all over the place, and seem to come out of left field at times. Link to post Share on other sites
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