"Being exclusive"-Can it go without saying or does it need to be said?

[todreaminblue]

To explain what I mean, here's some background on myself and my situation: I'm 22 years old and the last person I officially "dated" before now was back in highschool, so I'm kind of clueless when it comes to the dating/relationship scene. I am somewhat old-fashioned in that I only like to date one person at a time (I never have understood why people date multiple people at once, it just isn't for me) and I guess I naturally associate dating with being in a relationship (which I now realize can mean two totally different things for a lot of people.) What I'm meaning to ask here is, given the details of my situation below, do I need to ask this guy if we're "exclusive" or does it just kind of go without saying? You tell me. (Please.)

 

So here's the scoop: I met this great guy (seriously, a complete gentleman) through one of my closest friends about a year ago, we hung out once or twice back then, and more recently, we bumped into each other and have been on a total of 4 dates now. The first was just drinks, his treat (belated drinks for my birthday), which was a really good time; the 2nd was a movie-my choice, his treat, also a really good time; the 3rd-drinks again, also his treat-(this guy won't let me pay for anything, not even the tip!), then we hung out for a while at his house, and we finally kissed for the first time when he brought me home. The 4th we just stayed in at his house, watched a movie and hung out for a while, followed by another nice make-out session before we parted ways. (Neither of us wanted to stop kissing each other, it was cute.) He has picked me up for every date, listened to every word I say-no matter how stupid, and paid for everything so far. I can tell he is a little shy, but I really want to know where I stand with him, except I don't want to just up and ask him out of the blue, as I don't want to scare him away either. I am positive that this guy is really into me because we talk a lot, and he makes sure to tell me what a good time he had with me the next day every time we hang out. My friend that set us up informed me before I started dating him that this guy is a one-woman man, so I would assume that we are in a relationship, but I don't want to jump to conclusions either. In my mind it is, but in his mind, it may not be.

 

Can this ever go without saying, or do people need to verbally express exclusivity in order for it to be a real relationship? And if so, how do I approach this with the shy guy?! (This is the first guy I have ever been around that I could honestly see myself getting very serious with, so I really don't want to screw things up, but the uncertainty is starting to kill me!)

 

So cute ......got little butterflies squirming when i read your romantic post.....goes without saying this guy is a gentleman......i would hazard a guess to say a one person guy......but i dotn know him but you do and what do you feel in your heart......if you want it to be exclusive say so

say what is in your heart instead of saying to him "i want to know if you are going to be exclusive".....

 

 

maybe in a couple of weeks you wont even need to say this....say

 

" I really have no interest in dating other guys how do you feel about that, I really don't believe in dating in more than one guy at a time i would rather get to know you does that make you uncomfortable" be ready for either answer and then you decide how you feel and how you deal with his reply.

 

That way you are merely stating what you believe in what you need from a relationship or dating, there is no deceit and or expectations other than the truth, its also an easy opener that is non confrontational and a side of you that he needs to know...

 

i have however given this opener and been lied too.......but your man doesn't sound that way to me.....and it is easy fro guys to say yes it makes me uncomfortable you have your answer.....its no to exclusivity...i wish you the very best in life and love .....i have some flutterbys to control........lol.....deb

[mysteryscape]

she will feel so much better. and not bother with the ugly word "exclusive." do more as you say. speak from the heart, and with romance. 98% sure he'll go for it and then go on and melt her heart. he's probably dying for an invitation!