Would you date a divorced person who said they were accused of infidelity?

[spiderowl]

If someone told you that their marriage had ended because their partner had accused them of infidelity but it wasn't true, would you believe them?

[fishtaco]

Things like this happens.

 

This guy, friend of someone I know, married, had a vasectomy. His wife mysteriously got pregnant. He raised a huge stink about it. Accused her of sleeping around. They ended up divorcing. He moved on, got a girlfriend, knocked up the girlfriend too.

 

Went to the docs, turned out, his vasectomy somehow reversed itself. Maybe it wasn't done right the first time, I don't know the details. But I do know failed vasectomy, while extremely rare, does happen.

 

Why they didn't go for a paternity test I have no idea. Like I said, friend of someone I know, I don't know that person, so I couldn't get more detailed information even if I wanted to. And being a guy, I really don't care for detailed information. It was a "wow that was stupid/sucky" story, the end, shrug & go back to lifting weights.

[CptObvious]

I'd honestly rather die on the operating table than have a "failed" vasectomy and not knowing about it.

[spiderowl]

Thanks. Not sure why my post was moved though as it was about dating. Would you date a guy who had given this reason for his divorce?

[fishtaco]

I'd honestly rather die on the operating table than have a "failed" vasectomy and not knowing about it.

 

That's why you're supposed to get tested. Twice. Before you can be sure you're in the clear.

 

Vast majority of failed vasectomy (which is already rare) you can tell right away, if you are diligent about following the doctor's instructions and get tested. But very extremely rarely, you can go from negative to positive because some supernatural being decided to amusing him/her/itself by magically reconnecting the tubes in your nuts.

 

It is still one of the safest form of birth control. Unfortunately only celibacy is 100%.

 

Good news is, for every year that you have vasectomy, you lose like 10% of the probability to produce children even if a reverse vasectomy was successfully performed. Something about over time, your sperm become deformed and they are less able to swim to the egg. So I'd assume if you've had it long enough, even the magical tube reconnecting fairy can't do anything about it.

 

Anyway, my non-professional knowledge. If you really are interested, don't take my word for it, go talk to a doctor.

[fishtaco]

Thanks. Not sure why my post was moved though as it was about dating. Would you date a guy who had given this reason for his divorce?

 

Sorry for going off topic.

 

Anyway, you have to use your judgement. This too generic of a claim. It's like saying if a guy told you he fell off a bike when he was a kid, should you consider him a liar?

 

You can't use that statement by itself to make the judgement, because it could happen. Maybe he's lying, maybe he's not.

 

Sorry but there's no easy way to sniff out liars.

[Ninja'sHusband]

Yeah, as stated in the OP, there's just not enough info to go on.

[JD1977]

Ironically, I am one (of a very few) who got pregnant off a vasectomy that didn't work!

 

Spiderowl, it could be that each of their versions of infidelity is different and that could be why one claimed that the other cheated, but the other claims they didn't. Don't assume the worst, but keep your eyes open for red flags.

[denise_xo]

Thanks. Not sure why my post was moved though as it was about dating. Would you date a guy who had given this reason for his divorce?

 

You'd need more info to answer that question - depends on whether they come across as generally trustworthy, the details of the story, and so on.

[spiderowl]

Thanks, I don't know whether to take this as a red flag or not.

[denise_xo]

Thanks, I don't know whether to take this as a red flag or not.

 

Well, I think you just need to treat it as a potential red flag but keep assessing it against all the other impressions you are making of this person. Does he seem trustworthy? honest? like he has integrity? and so on.

[spiderowl]

He seems really nice actually, but I don't know why anyone would tell me this.

[MonsterMash]

As a general rule....no. I wouldn't. But I would definitely ask questions and not only listen to what was being said, but what *wasn't* being said as well.

[FitChick]

Someone who was unfaithful would be more likely to tell you it was his wife who cheated. I date divorced men exclusively and I have yet to meet one who admits to being unfaithful. They're too smart for that.

[SpiralOut]

I would proceed with caution. Actually I'm not sure if I would stick around. It puts me on edge just because I've seen cheating happen. The woman I know who cheated on her boyfriend of 10 years with her friends husband never denied what happened, though. She admitted to it, to all the men she was dating, then made all sorts of rationalizations for why it wasn't her fault. I'm not sure what the cheating husband told his future girlfriends.

 

If/when you get to a point of meeting his friends and family I would pay close attention to what they say and how they act.

[spiderowl]

Thanks, some good advice on here

[Michael Johnson]

I'm married but if I weren't I probably would. If she said she did cheat then no, I wouldn't date her. Maybe have a one-night stand with her if she's really attractive, though.

[spiderowl]

I'm married but if I weren't I probably would. If she said she did cheat then no, I wouldn't date her. Maybe have a one-night stand with her if she's really attractive, though.

 

So if she was honest and said she cheated, you'd screw her but not trust her?

 

She could have lied - does that make a difference?