Divorcee (Indian Male) : Should I marry(second marriage) a divorcee/unmarried girl?

[newlifeabcd]

Hi All,

 

Greetings of the day!

 

I am a divorced male (from India) and wanting to start afresh in life. I am in a dilemma now whether to approach unmarried girl OR divorced girl for arranged marriage. I will of course let the girl/her family know beforehand that I am a divorcee and only then proceed for further discussions related to marriage.

 

I have made below observations based on my experience in life:

 

(A) Positive points for marrying a Divorced Girl:

(A.1) The girl has fewer expectations and less dreams (unlike in first marriage where flying high in air is usual) in second married life, which is easy to handle by the man. Divorcees expected to have more practical approach towards life.

 

(A.2) Less chances of a second divorce from girl’s side (since she's already been through the pain of divorce once).

 

(A.3) The girl’s divorced due to dowry harassment are expected to be good. (At least divorce was not for other causes like arrogance, adamancy, quarrelsome behavior, severe illness/disease etc.)

 

(B)Negative points for marrying a Divorced Girl:

(B.1) The girl could not manage her first marriage, may be due to her arrogance, adamancy, quarrelsome behavior, severe illness/disease etc. Hence, the actual cause of divorce/girl's past life needs to be truthfully ascertained.

 

However, there is no way of validating whether the girl/her parents are truthful about the reason for divorce and not hiding anything

 

(B.2) May compare her earlier married life with the current married life.

 

(B.3) The married life may be less enthusiastic for both, this being a second marriage. (Though it depends upon one’s thought process).

 

(B.4) Divorced girls are usually less in number and also of higher age group for alliance for suitable choice for the man

 

© Positive points for marrying an Unmarried Girl:

(C.1) The girl cannot compare with her past married life (since girl’s first marriage)

(C.2) More options of alliance with girls of less age and other aspects (looks, education, family background etc.)

(C.3) The family life shall have charm and the girl shall be enthusiastic and keep home lively.

 

(D) Negative points for marrying an Unmarried Girl:

(D.1) More expectations, high dreams from married life, which is logical for the newlywed girl, but the man may not be able to meet them all, all the time.

(D.2) Post marriage, if any argument/quarrel happens, the girl may bring up the fact/complain that she had to marry a divorcee.

(D.3) Seldom unmarried girl would prefer divorced man. (Unmarried girls would prefer unmarried man).

 

Suggestions/Comments are welcome from both the genders to help me make right choice/decision.

 

God bless all.

 

Thanks in advance,

Newlife

[Brightmoon]

What happened in your marriage that led you both to divorce?

[newlifeabcd]

Kindly help me understand - how does my past reason for divorce impact my decision for re-marriage?

[Brightmoon]

There must be hard learned lessons form your marriage that may shed some light on your present dilemma.

Edited September 15, 2012 by Brightmoon
Typos

[taiko]

Kindly help me understand - how does my past reason for divorce impact my decision for re-marriage?

You listed reason after reason about her, it takes two to tango.

[newlifeabcd]

@Brightmoon:

 

Reason for my past divorce - the person was complete tomboyish in nature whereas I am the reserved kind. Other repelling aspects of that person were selfish, adamant nature, did not give time to me/my family apart from the big fact that she hid her past affair from me before marriage.

 

I really do not want to mention all the low level details since it brings back all bad and horrible memories.

[Axee]

I am an unmarried Indian girl, and I would say that there is a very low probabality that an unmarried single girl would go for a divorcee in an arranged situation, yes, in love marriage it would be possible......

 

All said and done, better to keep options open but not to hope for this strongly..

[Axee]

 

 

 

(B.4) Divorced girls are usually less in number and also of higher age group for alliance for suitable choice for the man

 

© Positive points for marrying an Unmarried Girl:

 

(C.2) More options of alliance with girls of less age and other aspects (looks, education, family background etc.)

 

Suggestions/Comments are welcome from both the genders to help me make right choice/decision.

 

God bless all.

 

Thanks in advance,

Newlife

 

I am sorry but I really feel these two points shouldnt matter to you much..

Importance should be given to the character and compatibility of the person and not to the value added propositions the person has. Please be mindful of this and remember the divorcee or never-married gal will think the same of u too as well..and in all probabilities the divorcee has a better understanding of the situation.. than an unmarried gal..

[irin]

marry divorcee.

[Pompom]

Listing all the reasons why you like girls with low expectations, make me wonder what is awaiting her with you. Poor thing to be arranged into such a relationship where a guy is looking for someone who no longer holds any high standards for anything, including her own life, other than a man who seems to think he's it.

 

she hid her past affair from me before marriage.

What she did before she met you, is none of your business.

[martinhengri]

Just marry someone who you love rather than if they are divorced or never married, if you both love each other, you will be happy together no matter what. good luck.Better look 4 a girl with whom u can tune in w/o being so analytical. Give life a second chance - ...its suspense that makes life more thrilling