underwater2010 Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 But, you were/are his wife Underwater. Are you comfortable with the knowledge that when he kissed you, you were probably unknowingly tasting her vagina on his tongue? The difference is that I had no clue what he was doing with her. The OW knew he was married. I guess this is a good time to clarify....he only met up with her a couple times. That is based on timelines and email verifications. The silly OW might have given him bj....where was her pleasure? Link to post Share on other sites
underwater2010 Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 And no I didn't taste her gential wart nastiness on his tongue. Link to post Share on other sites
underwater2010 Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Deny. Deny. Deny. I am not in denial, I have accepted more than both of them are willing to admit to. The problem is that you ask our opinions and then hurtle insults. I do not see where you have answered all my questions. I believe that you have to realize just as we do, that the both the BS and the OW were played to a certian extent. While you may believe that we got the raw end of the deal, we where unaware that there was a third person involved. The OW, on the other hand, generally knows he is married. And continues on blindly believing that he is only having sex with her. The vag on the tongue goes both ways. Don't believe me...I had a baby during the affair. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shaken_not_stirred Posted September 18, 2012 Author Share Posted September 18, 2012 I'm not discounting your pain. I know you were in a lot of pain because of your husband's betrayal. I'm just keeping it real, and I think in these situations, although it hurts to hear the truth, ultimately you are better off having to hear it. Some people don't want to know the truth. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SidLyon Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 But, you were/are his wife Underwater. Are you comfortable with the knowledge that when he kissed you, you were probably unknowingly tasting her vagina on his tongue? What! I thought this was the OW/OM board! Have I accidentally logged onto the "bad written porn" site instead? Link to post Share on other sites
angie2443 Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 What! I thought this was the OW/OM board! Have I accidentally logged onto the "bad written porn" site instead? It would seem so! I came here to do some easy reading to get me to sleep. I can't get these images out of my head now. Yuck! Link to post Share on other sites
SidLyon Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 I was wondering after dday 1, if the affair didn't end what were you telling your bs to make them think your were in R, bs what were you being told that made you think you were on the mend only to find out it was still going on? Also if you are a bs how many dday's does it take before you say no more? My d-day was just about 4 years ago now and we are pretty well recovered. For about 2 weeks there was some continued contact between my fWH and the OW. They didn't actually meet but there were a couple of phone calls and e-mails. The e-mails were from him to her telling her it was over and the phone calls were her querying the e-mails. I knew about the e-mails as they were sent with my knowledge, as I believed he at least owed her an explanation. Initially he lied to me about her contacting him back and him responding. He eventually came clean when our MC told him that MC would be unsuccessfully if he either continued contact withe her or continued lying to me. At the time it seemed like a fresh d-day but now I choose to see it as part of the same d-day, that was "extended" more than I would have wished. Even now I occasionally get new information/details (eg 3 months ago discovering the nude photos of the OW that had been here all along but in the "hidden" files and on the back-ups) but there have been no fresh betrayals since the original d-day time. I long ago decided that there would be no second chance if he cheats again. I would be utterly devastated all over again but would end our marriage as it's not something I can tolerate over and over. Link to post Share on other sites
angie2443 Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 I hear ya, AR. Just being real, that is my style. Most people I know who are "just being real" (another word for brutally honesty?) are really trying to provoke a reaction out someone or hurt someone. Is this what you are doing? I hope my question doesn't offend you. Link to post Share on other sites
underwater2010 Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Underwater, if it helps you to look at it that way, then look at it that way. But, he was your husband, not hers. I'm not discounting your pain. I know you were in a lot of pain because of your husband's betrayal. I'm just keeping it real, and I think in these situations, although it hurts to hear the truth, ultimately you are better off having to hear it. What your husband did to you was wrong. Thank you for acknowledging my pain. What he did to me was horrible and I am living with it day to day. To clarify you cannot hurt me. The damage was done by another OW. And I find her actions just a disguiting as I do my husbands. I know MOST of the truth. And until I come down with gential warts he is safe. While some people might find your "brutal honesty" refreshing, I think it is catty and childish. I have supported you on your threads and given you advice on why the MM you want is bad news. I have tried to keep you from being hurt as I have. Shaken- I have always wanted nothing but the whole truth, but the sad fact is the two people that have that information are to cowardly to give it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 It took one. Then I fought back with the years worth of lies. I dealt with the idea that multiple women had been a part of my life without my knowledge...that was fun to say the least. It took one affair to end mine too but multiple one nighters ill never do it again scenario and me being stupid accepting it, everything happens for a reason i would not be her ein the place i am if they didnt happen i have to feel this way..... i found out probably most of them .....or maybe not....the fact is ill never know and it isn't important that i do know only that i move on to find my slice of happiness in love.........deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AnotherRound Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Thank you for acknowledging my pain. What he did to me was horrible and I am living with it day to day. To clarify you cannot hurt me. The damage was done by another OW. And I find her actions just a disguiting as I do my husbands. I know MOST of the truth. And until I come down with gential warts he is safe. While some people might find your "brutal honesty" refreshing, I think it is catty and childish. I have supported you on your threads and given you advice on why the MM you want is bad news. I have tried to keep you from being hurt as I have. Shaken- I have always wanted nothing but the whole truth, but the sad fact is the two people that have that information are to cowardly to give it. And to clarify (if I was referenced in this thread as I think I was ).... I find it "refreshing" when it is aimed at me, in that it does not hurt my feelings and I find some truth in what she has said to me. Brutal, yes... but she was honest with what she told me re: my situation. I know that some others do not appreciate it, and if someone is uncomfortable with it, or does not welcome it, I don't find it "refreshing" then as I can see that some would be hurt by it. Just didn't want you to think that I am in agreement with being "brutally honest" with someone who isn't open to it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
underwater2010 Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Underwater, I apologize to you since the visual I presented was hurtful. It wasn't hurtful, just childish. I think it would be more hurtful to those BSs who WWs actually had a PA. I just find that you are cruel to many BSs. The funny thing is you have no reason to be....you are not even an OW yet. What exactly has brought you to a place in your life where you could be so hateful toward people you don't even know? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
underwater2010 Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 And to clarify (if I was referenced in this thread as I think I was ).... I find it "refreshing" when it is aimed at me, in that it does not hurt my feelings and I find some truth in what she has said to me. Brutal, yes... but she was honest with what she told me re: my situation. I know that some others do not appreciate it, and if someone is uncomfortable with it, or does not welcome it, I don't find it "refreshing" then as I can see that some would be hurt by it. Just didn't want you to think that I am in agreement with being "brutally honest" with someone who isn't open to it. Another Round - Thank you for clarifying. Link to post Share on other sites
AnotherRound Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Another Round - Thank you for clarifying. No problem. Link to post Share on other sites
woinlove Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 It ain't pretty, but it's real. Huh? How could you possibly know that it is real that this MM performed oral sex on the OW, since it seems he, the OW, and both betrayed spouses say otherwise? Or do you think every affair is the same? Is that reality to you? I'm sure you have your reasons for injecting the idea that the BW tasted the OW's vagina on her H's tongue, but I don't buy that it is to be helpful or constructive. Perhaps something about reconciling spouses really gets to you. Something to think about. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 I don't understand why you BSs stay after your Husband cheats. You can call it whatever you want to call it, but it's blatant disrespect. And yet you OW are more than willing to bed down a guy that cheats and just oozes disrespect. Works both ways. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 But, you were/are his wife Underwater. Are you comfortable with the knowledge that when he kissed you, you were probably unknowingly tasting her vagina on his tongue? Getting off on this Tara? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DBella Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 My H made it sound like he was completely done with the homewrecker and that she never meant anything, that he couldn't control her texting and emailing him. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 But, he's not my husband. If he wants to self-destruct, nothing I can do about that. Doesn't matter. Your point is how is it that she could bring herself to want him after knowing he is a cheating lying pr!ck. Same goes for an OW. It looks rather silly for an OW to make those statements about a BS when she is also fawning all over a cheating, lying pr!ck. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
underwater2010 Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 But, he's not my husband. If he wants to self-destruct, nothing I can do about that. Sure you can do something about....you are ready are.....you are helping him. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 You left out a few other qualifiers. For obvious reasons. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 The cheating lying prick is only lying to his wife in terms of who he's having sex with because the OW already knows what's going on. She knows that it is her and his wife, but the wife only thinks it's her and her husband making love. Therefore the OW can plan sexual activities according, whereas the wife is caught off guard when her husband walks in the house and gives her his tongue...I believe it's already been established that you know what I mean. Yes, I know what you mean. You get off on this. Its obvious. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 My xH and I had several Ddays of various degrees. He was a serial cheater who escalated ( I thought) from sexting to sex with strangers. The reason it took several Ddays for me to leave was because I really loved him and he at first convinced me he had stopped by crying and begging, then crying and begging and marriage counseling, then crying and begging, marriage counseling and psychiatry. I know it varies w/ each BS, but for many I notice it depends in part on how much crying and begging you can take until you realize you are married to a cry baby bi*ch and decide to bail and try your luck with a real man. Link to post Share on other sites
underwater2010 Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 And this man who I thought I wanted hasn't cheated yet. So, what are you talking about? He's trying to do the right thing by his wife. In addition, I'm not going to become anyone's mistress. Glad to hear you might have come to your senses. There is hope for you yet. Link to post Share on other sites
woinlove Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 (edited) The cheating lying prick is only lying to his wife in terms of who he's having sex with because the OW already knows what's going on. She knows that it is her and his wife, but the wife only thinks it's her and her husband making love. Therefore the OW can plan sexual activities according, whereas the wife is caught off guard when her husband walks in the house and gives her his tongue...I believe it's already been established that you know what I mean. Actually, that is often not the case. Some MM lie to the OW too, some lie about their marital status, some lie about sex with their W, some lie about sex with OOW. You might argue that except for the situation when they lie about their marital status, the OW might plan on them lying since they know they are lying to their BW, but that is often not the case. I naively thought if there was no reason to lie, the MM would not lie. Turns out some people just lie, whether there is a reason or not or maybe they lie just in case there might be a reason. For an OW who wrongly believes the MM is not having sex with his W, or doesn't have OOW, they can also be caught off guard. Edited September 19, 2012 by woinlove 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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