Divorce is final, but I still love him...How can I get him back?

[kissanangel]

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My husband and I would have celebrated our 5yr anniversary July 17th of this year. Unfortunetly our divorce was finalized on the 15th...two days before.

 

We had a great relationship, but we let things get too routine and boring. I had a miscarriage and was very upset. I thought he was handling things fine. Then about 6 months later (a week after our 4 yr anniversary) he tells me he's unhappy and doesn't know if he's still in love with me.

 

We tried for two months, but he said nothing was changing. So, I went to stay with my parents. I honestly though if I was gone for a while he would want me to come home. That didn't happen. I moved into an apartment with my best friend a month later. We promised to keep trying, but I don't feel like he was trying at all.

 

5 months went by and he still said he wasn't ready for me to come home yet. So I made the decision for him, for a divorce. He says that I'll always be apart of his life and that he loves me and still wants me, but thinks it's best for us to be on our own right now. He says things like when and if we get back together things will be so much better.

 

It's almost like he's trying to keep me hanging on until he realizes whether or not this was a mistake. I love this man with everything I have. I gave him an uncontested divorce, and so many chances to try and stay together.

 

I've been trying to move on, but he'll call and make unnessesary comments, like how we don't know what the future holds and he'll probably wake up and realize this was a mistake. He still tells me he loves occasionally.

 

I do want to be with him. I am still in love with him, but I feel like I have to let go for him to truly realize whether or not he really loves me and wants me back. Then again I'm afraid it might be to late by then. I don't know what to do. Should I try just being friends( even though it's hard for me) and see where it goes, or just walk away?

 

Any advice it much appreciated...

[KANSAN]

SORRY TO HEAR YOUR PAIN...IMO IF YOU DO NOT WANT A DIVORCE, DON'T GET ONE, TRY AS HARD AS YOU CAN TO MAKE THINGS WORK. IF HE CAN'T MAKE HIS MIND UP YOUR TRYING WILL BE A COMFORT IN YOUR MOVING ON/HEALING PROCESS.

YOU SOUND LIKE A NICE, CARING AN LOVING PERSON AND IF THE MARRIAGE FAILS HE WILL REGRET IT GOOD GENUINE PEOPLE ARE HARD TO FIND.

 

 

STAY STRONG

[kissanangel]

Thanks you so much. You are right, because of all the effort I put into this I have no regrets. It hurts to think of what pain he'll have to go through if he ever gets to the point of regret. It's sad that I'm still concerned about his feeling, when mine haven't been considered. Love is a strange thing. So what's your story? If you don't mind me asking?

[KANSAN]

DIVORCED, MY WIFE DIVORCED ME FOR NOT LOVING HER ENOUGH DESPITE OUR 2YR OLD CHILD. OUR ANNIVERSARY WOULD HAVE BEEN ON JULY 3. IT HAPPENED ABOUT 3 MONTHS AGO. I'M OK I GUESS JUST MOVING ON THE BEST THAT I CAN. I DON'T BOTHER HER AND I LET HER HAVE HER SPACE. BUT WEIRD THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME LIKE THE OTHER WEEK MY CAR WAS VANDALIZED 3000 WORTH OF DAMAGE ONLY MY CAR AT AN APARTMENT BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT ITS MAKING ME MAD JUST THINKING ABOUT STUFF.

I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK IN YOUR SITUATION AND BE STRONG.

[Mr Spock]

You sound like a strong person with a clear mind-do you want to be friends with him? He's obviously hurt you, badly-do you think maybe you'd like some time to regain your sense of self before being friends with him? IMO, since you are divorced (or soon to be) you should minimize contact with him. Why should he benefit from your friendship when he didn't even know if he wanted to be MARRIED to you still?