Tips for dealing with the stress of long distance?

[sgtmoody]

I have been dating my GF going on about 3.5 months now it started as an LTR from the beginning. We talk everyday not as much as we used to though. We used to talk 3-4 times a day since she works 2 jobs she would call me on her lunch and her break at each job and then we would talk again when she got home till she went to bed. I realize right now she is kind of busy but it seems we dont talk as much as we used to. I might her from her once or twice if I'm lucky during the day and then again at night. I'm not worried about it since she seems pretty busy and she always tells me she loves me.

 

My question though is how do you deal with the stress of not hearing from her. lately its been somewhat random when she calls during the day so I never really know if or when she will call so it always seems like I'm sitting waiting for the phone to ring. I used to just do my thing and then the phone would ring and not worry about it but now I find myself waiting and hoping it will ring. Is it something that just comes with being in a LTR?

 

How do I talk to her about it with out sounding like I'm worrying all the time or wanting to keep tabs on her?

[esstea]

I had the same problem with my boyfriend. We were forced into a long distance relationship because he went to study abroad, and we use to talk MUCH MUCH more than we do now.

 

In a sense, because of the different lifestyle changes, you also need to redefine your relationship. As change comes along, you can't let it change your relationship, but rather change in a way together (if that makes sense). Don't be worried that you two don't talk as often, it's just probably hard at first, but once you get the hang of working a schedule out with eachother it gets better, I promise.

 

A part of being in a LDR is realizing your living your life without that person so it may be hard to accept that they're busy, but it's the package deal and if you love them you just gotta suck it up (if you feel like it's worth it). As for dealing with stress, literally.. Everyone here will tell you to simply keep yourself busy. It's the golden rule. Good luck!

[esstea]

I would also suggest not trying to constantly keep tabs on her, or she might feel like you're becoming a bit needy. You need to establish a trust in eachother strong enough to kill those insecurities about "omg what's she doing now, I have to text her to see what she's doing" type of thing.

 

You just have to chill out. I know it's hard but.... you could do it if I could do it (and i'm a pretty insane girlfriend at times haha)

[justwhoiam]

I have been dating my GF going on about 3.5 months now it started as an LTR from the beginning.

You meant LDR?

[sgtmoody]

yes I did stupid typos! but thanks for the advice its helpful just sometimes its hard to keep yourself busy when there is nothing to do

[bluegreen]

You meant LDR?

 

Girl stop being grammar Cop

not all of us are born raised English speakers more so "only correct" UK English speakers writers ...

[TMichaels]

Girl stop being grammar Cop

not all of us are born raised English speakers more so "only correct" UK English speakers writers ...

 

She's not being a grammar cop.

 

LTR = Long-term relationsip

 

LDR = Long-distance relationship

 

Two very different things and knowing which one he means is important as it makes a difference in terms of what the issue is and/or how others might frame their response.

 

 

Best,

TMichaels

[bluegreen]

Got Ya : )) TX for the explanation

[todreaminblue]

I have been dating my GF going on about 3.5 months now it started as an LTR from the beginning. We talk everyday not as much as we used to though. We used to talk 3-4 times a day since she works 2 jobs she would call me on her lunch and her break at each job and then we would talk again when she got home till she went to bed. I realize right now she is kind of busy but it seems we dont talk as much as we used to. I might her from her once or twice if I'm lucky during the day and then again at night. I'm not worried about it since she seems pretty busy and she always tells me she loves me.

 

My question though is how do you deal with the stress of not hearing from her. lately its been somewhat random when she calls during the day so I never really know if or when she will call so it always seems like I'm sitting waiting for the phone to ring. I used to just do my thing and then the phone would ring and not worry about it but now I find myself waiting and hoping it will ring. Is it something that just comes with being in a LTR?

 

How do I talk to her about it with out sounding like I'm worrying all the time or wanting to keep tabs on her?

 

exercise......walking music do things you enjoy doing try and find happiness within you, get in touch with your spiritual side talk to it......talk to god he will be on call 24 7.....go easy on yourself dance like a crazy person.......put music in your ears wherever you go......songs that you associate with your partner daydream of things you would like to do when you meet up, if you see something you think he might like when you are out buy it....its the little things that put a smile on your face......when you do see or get a chance to be with that person treasure it, make it super special to carry you through the times when you miss them.notice smiles and that special feeling you get when you just spend time with them..show them you care in little ways.....dont do it because you feel you have too, do it because it keeps you closer to them in many ways......keeps them in your thoughts through out the days and nights they are not in your arms......plan menus sexy ones full of promises of good times laughter and expectation of after dinner treats......lol....im gojng im thinking of menus and i am not attached to the person i want to eb attached too.....yet...ps make it their fave foods from entree through too.....dessert....

 

feed them that one....i suggest creme brullee most men like it.its very .......simply slinky...if not find out his........smilin......deb

[todreaminblue]

im a bit daydreamy

 

so i tangeted and projected then realised you are asking about what to do as far as your girlfriend goes....i still think what i said could work if you replace hims with hers......sorry to have projected and taken you on a deb style tangent.......best wishes and try some of my suggestions....i think they can be universal daydreams and tangents:cool:........deb

[shorty7]

Sorry, I'm going to be lazy and copy-paste from another post in this same forum.

 

Some Key Things:

1. Take advantage of technology. FaceTime is a godsend.
   
2. Have an understanding that there are 99% of things out there that are out of your control. The only single thing you have control over is your mindset.
   
3. Establish time slots when you can set aside to talk to each other.
   
4. Learn to be independent of each other, and understand that the time you have alone to yourself is important for your own self-enhancing activities too.
   
5. Establish visits and when they are happening, ASAP. This probably won't happen until either party reaches his/her destination of separation, but if you have something to look forward to, you establish goals you commit yourself to before you can leave your daily priorities to go visit, which will keep you busy in the meantime.
   
6. Learn to let go. As in, if something bad happens, learn to learn what can be done better in the future rather than dwelling on the past.
   
7. Learn to communicate. SAY what you MEAN, and MEAN what you SAY.
   

 

Sorry for the TL;DR. But all relationships are only relevant to those who are in it and differ in form for every couple out there. You'll have to work out your own kinks as you go along as every other LDR couple did, but I hope my experience helps. If you take it in as a part of a journey and take it as an opportunity to learn something new about yourselves in the new stage of developing your relationship, it'll never be a time you feel was wasted.

 

Good luck.