rhonda Posted July 23, 2004 Share Posted July 23, 2004 My best friend is a stereotypical dependent girl. She cannot live without a boyfriend. I new this and accept her even though we are complete opposites. I have never really liked any of her boyfriends but I always figured, it's her choice I don't have to kiss him! Now she is dating this guy who is nice enough but he repulses me. He is unattractive, chews tobacco, has bad language, nasty friends, a dead end job, no ambition, and he lost his license so she's driving him around. She even told me that he stole some money from her once! Like I said, she's the one who has to date him but everytime we are together she goes on and on about how great, smart, good looking, etc. he is. It disgusts me. How do I politely tell her to quit talking about him??? Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted July 23, 2004 Share Posted July 23, 2004 "Yes, I'm sure Bruno has lots of lovely qualities that aren't readily apparent to others." Link to post Share on other sites
She's Come Undone Posted July 23, 2004 Share Posted July 23, 2004 You could adopt a gag reflex everytime she mentions his name! Link to post Share on other sites
tigeress Posted July 24, 2004 Share Posted July 24, 2004 Your friends, change the subject. I'm sure the two of you of other things to talk about. Just begin talking about things that interest both of you. Link to post Share on other sites
dudesomewhere Posted July 24, 2004 Share Posted July 24, 2004 it's not the decency or cleanliness of the man that counts...it's the size of his penis. I've found that many times, a guy can be a total pig both physically and psychologically, but that if he has a big unit, women will simply adore him. Link to post Share on other sites
dorkunderfire Posted July 28, 2004 Share Posted July 28, 2004 by dudesomewhere: it's not the decency or cleanliness of the man that counts...it's the size of his penis. I've found that many times, a guy can be a total pig both physically and psychologically, but that if he has a big unit, women will simply adore him. thats...very insightful and charming. however, on the real.. there are a few options here...either keep it inside and say "oh, thats great" everytime she talks about him, then one day explode due to pent-up anger...or be honest. by honest i mean tastefully honest. i mean, if you have a valid point in why you dislike him, then its not like you're coming out of left field with something. the line there is drawn when your beef with him is he uses too much cream in his coffee or something, and you burst out one day claiming you've tried to keep the issue inside, but you cant take it anymore. obviously you've had it just about up to "here" with her wrongfully singing his praise, so if i were in your shoes i'd just say "look, i'm sorry if you're offended by this, but i just dont like him." when she pipes up again. try to leave it at that, and it should be fine. there may be a small bruise on her ego, but it'll heal. if she presses on and keeps asking why then break it down for her. frankly if it were me, and things were that bad, i'd be pretty blunt about it. smoking is bad enough, but chewing tobacco is just frikkin rank. plus, stealing money from her?! not to mention everything else! thats stomping on the line i drew where i'd stop sugar-coating my opinions. Link to post Share on other sites
dorkunderfire Posted July 28, 2004 Share Posted July 28, 2004 just realized i used my line metaphor twice...oh well. Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted July 28, 2004 Share Posted July 28, 2004 Why do you care? Are you jealous? Are just selfish and don't want her to be happy? If she is happy and he treats her well, stay out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted July 28, 2004 Share Posted July 28, 2004 Deb, he stole money from her. Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted July 28, 2004 Share Posted July 28, 2004 If I were in a similar situation, I would tell my friend that I don't particularly want to hear about him, or her. I'd act very uninterested whenever the boyfriend, or girlfriend, got brought up. I'd politely express my disapproval, metnion how important my friendship is with the person, and kindly ask that the person not speak all that much of his or her partner. Also, depending on exactly how hairy this beast is, being hairy is not a bad thing. There were some National Geographic and Discovery specials which did show that, for the most part, persons of high intelligence tend to be hairy. Link to post Share on other sites
lnichols Posted July 28, 2004 Share Posted July 28, 2004 A girl I work with has a similar thing going on. He's on probation, has shot himself in the head, has to attend AA meetings or go to jail, been in the State Hospital... He works, but he never has money, and so she gives him her's even though she is a single parent and makes darn little or it. Finally, I just got tired and told her that I honestly thought she could do better. I told her about my ( and others') concerns about this guy. How much can youreally trust him? Would you trust him with your 14 year old daughter? I just vented. She didn't get mad, and she still sees him. She just knows how I feel about him. If you are pretty good friends with your friend, you might be able to get away this. It made me feel better. Link to post Share on other sites
lnichols Posted July 28, 2004 Share Posted July 28, 2004 You might also try looking at Ladder Theory.com. It is pretty sexist, but it has a humorous way of explaining why we women are attracted to bikers instead of nice guys. Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted July 28, 2004 Share Posted July 28, 2004 I didn't grasp the fact that he stol money from her. I guess I needed another coffee. But anyways, it is her battle, not yours. If you keep trashing every guy she goes out with she is not going to be too happy. I say, pick your battles. If this one is high and dry the worst, than say something. If not, just recognize she has horrible taste in men. Link to post Share on other sites
dorkunderfire Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 she who is so insecure that she cant be without a boyfriend isn't exactly picky, yet lives the relationship out and talks about it as if it were the best she's ever been in...and this glorified life she speaks of is applied to every...single...boyfriend...she has. Link to post Share on other sites
rhonda Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 I completely agree with your last post! You could not have described her relationships better. Deb just so you know, I have a great bf of my own (who doesn't drink, chew, or steal and whom I do not talk about constantly. Come on there are other things in my life too) This is disgust not jealousy talking. I. . .Thanks for the laddertheory reference. It was a good laugh and seems to hold true (in cases such as these) Link to post Share on other sites
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