lovehurts5 Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Had a photoshoot yesterday and I shot with this guy that has taken pictures of me once before. Only yesterday after he took the pictures he was like come hang out with all of us tonight if you aren't doing anything!! So I was like yeah sounds fun! Totally 100% thinking that he's a super cool FRIEND. No... he wound up grabbing my face and kissing me and I felt bad... When I walked away from him he was like am I getting you going? I didn't say anything but I wanted to be like no, i'm just uncomfortable. I'm not sure why this bothered me so much but it was to the point where after I went home and went to sleep I was actually having trouble sleeping!! This is the second guy that I have tried to be friends with and the second time that's failed. I'm just going to stop talking to guys altogether! Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 How old are you lovehurts? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovehurts5 Posted September 18, 2012 Author Share Posted September 18, 2012 I am 24..... Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 While that guy was a little tactless, if he asks you to hang out with him, it usually means he likes you. Otherwise, he wouldn't ask. I'm sure I've explained before, but if a guy wants to have sex with a girl, it's very difficult to then be friends with that girl. I am a man who has significant enough control of my sexuality that I can be friends with a girl I was previously interested in and move on to find someone else to date at the same time. Sadly, a lot of guys do not have the capacity, it's usually all or nothing. The sooner you come to terms with that, the better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Had a photoshoot yesterday and I shot with this guy that has taken pictures of me once before. Only yesterday after he took the pictures he was like come hang out with all of us tonight if you aren't doing anything!! So I was like yeah sounds fun! Totally 100% thinking that he's a super cool FRIEND. No... he wound up grabbing my face and kissing me and I felt bad... When I walked away from him he was like am I getting you going? I didn't say anything but I wanted to be like no, i'm just uncomfortable. I'm not sure why this bothered me so much but it was to the point where after I went home and went to sleep I was actually having trouble sleeping!! This is the second guy that I have tried to be friends with and the second time that's failed. I'm just going to stop talking to guys altogether! It's called normal, straight/heterosexual behavior. Though, he should'nt GRABBED you, but I would've made an attempt at affection at least. Why are you acting as if this is a problem? Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Just wanted to make sure you weren't a teenager. Well then I'm assuming your original post is just a vent because you probably know the answer. A lot of guys will want to sleep with you and only pretend to be friends. If you don't want to sleep with them, don't hang out with them. I have male friends but only pick ones that don't flirt with me. I'm assuming he was trying to flirt with you prior to asking you out that night. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovehurts5 Posted September 18, 2012 Author Share Posted September 18, 2012 irc333- that's the thing idk why i'm so bothered by his actions?? It might be because I really was just taken back by it AND because one of the people we were also hanging out with knows my ex and that's still fresh for me. Emilia- He actually wasn't flirty at all which is the wierd thing!! I even was telling him about how I just got out of a long relationship 4 months ago and how I didn't want to be with anyone right now and how there was this other guy who wasn't getting that hint. Then he goes and decides to kiss me a couple hours later?? Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 I have to go back and find the thread that dealt with this specific thing you're talking about. Basically, guys can't be "friends" with girls they're attracted to. Hold on. Wait for my next post! It was kind of funny. Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Here we go! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/343551-he-not-getting-hint Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Oh wait. That was you. :lmao::lmao::lmao: D'oh! DISREGARD! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Emilia- He actually wasn't flirty at all which is the wierd thing!! I even was telling him about how I just got out of a long relationship 4 months ago and how I didn't want to be with anyone right now and how there was this other guy who wasn't getting that hint. Then he goes and decides to kiss me a couple hours later?? Ah he thinks you are playing hard to get. This guy is bad news, definitely not friend material. He doesn't care about what you think or how you feel. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovehurts5 Posted September 18, 2012 Author Share Posted September 18, 2012 hahaha yes KatZee.. I'm dealing with the same issues!! Clearly I haven't learned my lesson that guys can't just be friends. boo. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Oh wait. That was you. :lmao::lmao::lmao: D'oh! DISREGARD! I thought that was funny when I clicked on it Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Hah, I was in that thread too Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Had a photoshoot yesterday and I shot with this guy that has taken pictures of me once before. Only yesterday after he took the pictures he was like come hang out with all of us tonight if you aren't doing anything!! So I was like yeah sounds fun! Totally 100% thinking that he's a super cool FRIEND. No... he wound up grabbing my face and kissing me and I felt bad... Sounds like a modern re-telling of Pygmalion. Very romantic (right up until the "grabbing" part). Sounds like you need to find a new photographer! Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovehurts5 Posted September 18, 2012 Author Share Posted September 18, 2012 Yeah I guess so He took such nice pictures too... shucks. Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Steve Harvey that wrote Think Like A Man said this: "Just about all of my friends are men. I don’t really have any female friends. For the most part, I am incapable of maintaining a platonic friendship with a woman. My wife is my closest female friend, and beyond that, I don't have any. Many women will say, 'I have a number of men who are my good friends.' That’s not true. Those men are your friend only because you have made it absolutely clear that nothing else is happening beyond the platonic friendship that you created, not him. Men will remain your friends in the hope that someday, there will be a 'crack in the door' or a 'chink in the armor.' Once you open the door of opportunity, that guy who you thought was just your 'buddy' will put forth his best effort to slide into that 'crack in the door' you opened. 99.9% of men feel the same way I do about platonic friendships. If you don't believe me, ask your 'male friends' if they would be okay dating you or having sex with you. Then, watch the fireworks happen." I am a person that will not have female friends unless they are lesbian. They act more the part of a friend in my opinion than a heterosexual woman. I know for me to hang around a woman I think is attractive to hear her problem and her talk about other men is not my cup of tea. I learned that one the hard way. I think for most men when we interact with women we think are attractive we have a purpose in mind. Link to post Share on other sites
AlexDP Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 irc333- that's the thing idk why i'm so bothered by his actions?? It might be because I really was just taken back by it AND because one of the people we were also hanging out with knows my ex and that's still fresh for me. Emilia- He actually wasn't flirty at all which is the wierd thing!! I even was telling him about how I just got out of a long relationship 4 months ago and how I didn't want to be with anyone right now and how there was this other guy who wasn't getting that hint. Then he goes and decides to kiss me a couple hours later?? It works the other way too you know. I don't have any real female friends, unless they have boyfriends. I thought I was friends with a girl, but she stopped talking to me when I got a girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 OP, here's a clue: If the guy who's shooting the pictures isn't talking up your clothes and going over the fine points of makeup and color matching and etc, etc, meaning he's more than likely gay, he's going to hit on you sexually if he's young, and especially if he's unattached. That's human nature. He's staring at a photogenic woman through a lens, the images of which go right into his occipital lobe, whirl around a bit and head for his penis. Expect it. If you want male friends, pursue interests where your appearance is irrelevant and keep the contact relevant to the interest. No 'hanging out'. Men don't 'hang out' with women. They date women. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GirlontheLam Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Men and women can be friends. I have of course lost a few where things were pretty ambiguous in terms of attraction (we each had waves of being attracted). But I also have a long term one, with nothing there/nothing happening. I can't imagine he has been sticking around for 15 years on "the hope for a crack." That is entirely too long. And *gasp* we hang out at movies, sporting events, plays, bars. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Men like sex Men like girls Men like sex with girls. ----------- Never be surprised when a guy expresees interest, unless you thought he was gay. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Men and women can be friends. I have of course lost a few where things were pretty ambiguous in terms of attraction (we each had waves of being attracted). But I also have a long term one, with nothing there/nothing happening. I can't imagine he has been sticking around for 15 years on "the hope for a crack."So, how does his wife feel about that? Does she join you? I've had long-term female friends but I was also a friend of their H's or BF's too. My best female friend was like that. Her BF and I would go to the races and shoot guns and such together. Link to post Share on other sites
Titanwolf Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 3/4 of my friends (by definition, the opposite of acquaintances) are women. We have been friends for many years and I value each one of them as individuals. I have never shown any romantic interest in any them, nor them in me. I am not a homosexual. Come at me 2 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Exceptions don't make the rules. I was an exception too, from my teens to late 30's. My male friends thought I was gay. My friends wives still say I'd make a good wife. Outlier behaviors don't invalidate the norm, which is what the OP experienced. A young male shooting pictures hit on her sexually. That's what they do. Expect it. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 3/4 of my friends (by definition, the opposite of acquaintances) are women. We have been friends for many years and I value each one of them as individuals. I have never shown any romantic interest in any them, nor them in me. I am not a homosexual. Come at me If one of them wanted you to sleep with them would you refuse? And I'm not talking about the unattractive ones. Link to post Share on other sites
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