Everyone getting married is pissing me off.

[Tree_Salmon]

So it's almost been two months of NC for me now.

It seems that within these two months every one of my close friends has either become engaged or is having a kid.

 

This is just the icing on my already "pissed off" cake. I know i shouldn't really care about it and I'm happy for them. I'm just pissed that my relationship had to get to this point.

 

We were actually supposed to get married this upcoming year. I'm trying not to let this effect me but I seem to be at a stage where it's really bothering me.

 

Every conversation I have with most people now revolves around their new marriage/baby plans. I find myself hanging out with new people just so I don't have to hear that stuff.

 

How do I prevent this from bothering me?

When will i not care anymore?

[january2011]

When you realise and accept that you chose your life path and this path has benefits that the other paths don't.

 

If you decide that the benefits from those life paths outweigh the benefits in this one, then go out and get yourself on the "right" path.

 

But remember, you can't walk all the paths. You can only choose one.

[SadPanda22]

I know how you feel. Two days after my bf of 8 years broke up with me, my best friend got engaged. While my bf was avoiding/ignoring me and thinking of how to end it with me, her bf was picking out an engagement ring for her. She called to let me know he had proposed and asked me if I would be a bridesmaid. Ouch.

 

And all of these people on FB (some from high school, some I have worked with) are either getting married, moving in together, or having babies. It makes me really sad because that is where I thought my relationship was headed....it's all very disappointing.

 

Sorry I don't have any advice, just wanted you to know that you aren't the only person who is pissed off.

[NoMoreJerks]

So it's almost been two months of NC for me now.

It seems that within these two months every one of my close friends has either become engaged or is having a kid.

 

This is just the icing on my already "pissed off" cake. I know i shouldn't really care about it and I'm happy for them. I'm just pissed that my relationship had to get to this point.

 

We were actually supposed to get married this upcoming year. I'm trying not to let this effect me but I seem to be at a stage where it's really bothering me.

 

Every conversation I have with most people now revolves around their new marriage/baby plans. I find myself hanging out with new people just so I don't have to hear that stuff.

 

How do I prevent this from bothering me?

When will i not care anymore?

I totally know the feeling. I'm 29 and have had only one relationship (the ex who broke up with me last week), and ALL my friends, with no exceptions, are engaged, married, or have babies and/or 5-year-old kids already. Sure, it does no good to compare, because we all have different priorities in life. I for one chose to pursue graduate degrees, etc., when most of my friends didn't. But that's not the point. The point is that I feel like a wreck, so incompetent, that I couldn't even keep a boyfriend for longer than 3 months.

[suladas]

It's weird, a few years ago was the start of friends getting married, at that point I was like they are crazy it's too young, even when they had a kid 2 years ago. Now there is plenty married, and having kids. It's getting to me a tiny bit, not because i'm ready for marriage or kids, because i'm years away but because it would be nice to be at the starting point of it like at least a steady gf would be awesome. But at the same time there is one group of friends getting married, then there's the big partying ones who barely have steady jobs and still live at home. I'm like in between them, so I really can't complain.

[blue_jay_bird]

Trust me you don't want to get married, it's not all it's cracked up to be.

 

Ever time i hear about someone getting married. THINK OF THE STATS. 50% of marriages end in divorce. Chance's are next time you see the happy couple, they won't be together, or aren't as happy as you think.

 

Don't be jealous, they look so happy right now. Give it time.

 

Think of when your relationship was blue sky and sex all the time. Things will change for them too.

 

The soon they get married, the sooner the paper's for divorce will be flowing.

 

Repeat this: 50% end in divorce. It always give's me a smile.

[Tree_Salmon]

Trust me you don't want to get married, it's not all it's cracked up to be.

 

Ever time i hear about someone getting married. THINK OF THE STATS. 50% of marriages end in divorce. Chance's are next time you see the happy couple, they won't be together, or aren't as happy as you think.

 

Don't be jealous, they look so happy right now. Give it time.

 

Think of when your relationship was blue sky and sex all the time. Things will change for them too.

 

The soon they get married, the sooner the paper's for divorce will be flowing.

 

Repeat this: 50% end in divorce. It always give's me a smile.

 

I actually repeat those statistics to prople who've complained to me. I know it doesn't really matter and I can already see half of my friends potentially divorced. But it hurts because I was do close to that myself.

 

We all think we are the exception to the rules or special. But the truth is everyone has a chance of losing it.

[Pogona]

I'm pretty sure the 50% statistics are false. I read somewhere recently that those are made up, or at the very least distorted.

 

However, they DO start to become true as you get younger and younger in ages, approaching nearly 80% when people get married at or below 20 years old.

 

So yeah, I have absolutely no desire to be married now, and definitely not for a while. I see many of the girls (and starting to see some of the guys) I know getting married young, and all I can think is that it's all they ever really wanted. Not necessarily that man, or that life, but just to BE MARRIED.

 

My backstory: I was 2 months from getting married when my fiance called it off. Needless to say, I was crushed. It took me over a year to really recover. But when I did, I realized that I had almost made a HUGE mistake. Long story short, she was a lot of fun and had her caring moments, but she was basically just not a nice person. I don't think she ever really loved me, because she never really treated me right. So when she came crawling back and asking for another chance, I more or less told her where she could shove it. That is liberation you've not known, my friends.

 

Now I understand what an enormous commitment marriage is and why it's worth the wait. If I ever get married, it will be to someone truly special. Not just because I think it's "time". **** that noise. The lesson I learned cost me much heartache, and no small amount of money, but in the end...it was well worth it.

[suladas]

Oh I agree rushing into it's stupid. I'm only 23 I have no intention of getting married anytime soon. What would be nice though is to have at least a long term relationship, and doing things with someone special. I will be surprised if i'm married before 30, no matter what, I will not rush into it.

[CptObvious]

Find humor in it. Well over half those marriages and commitments will be horribly broken and burned. Your pals are in for a world of pain and they don't even see it coming yet. Right now they're rubbing it in your face like it's some sort of accomplishment, but 2, maybe 5, maybe 10 years from now you'll be getting the last laugh. You'll still have your home, your car, and your job.

 

 

And they'll have nothing.

 

 

-evil laugh-

[suladas]

Some yes, I can tell which ones are doomed. One has been married for like 4 years now and I can see them lasting a long time, but then again he's quite controlling about certain things, they almost called off the wedding when they had issues with planning it. The one who just got engaged, I went to high school with her me and everyone I know warned him, he's going to get so screwed. His taste in women is awful, he's a great guy and ends up with women who take advantage of him so badly he could do a lot better.

 

I am definitely not jealous of them getting married at this age, I wouldn't do it. But it would be pretty awesome to have a steady gf. Although I am still enjoying living on my own in my own house, not ready to give that up yet.

[I'm nuts]

I'm pretty sure the 50% statistics are false. I read somewhere recently that those are made up, or at the very least distorted.

 

 

I'm not, most people I've known are now divorced or are in a marriage they'd rather not be in i.e unhappy, oh how lucky to be free and yet so many want to to rush to be married, why oh why?

[I'm nuts]

Not necessarily that man, or that life, but just to BE MARRIED.

 

 

That is very scary, I've seen probably my best friend fall in to this trap, I knew she want to get married and was getting desperate as all her friends were married, she was always on the look out, then out of the blue she's engaged, WTF.

 

I was shocked at the speed of this engagement to someone she doesn't really know well, someone of the Internet from a different country who most have impressed her, all in desperation, she even asked me if she should marry and was doing the right thing, WTF. Now that scares me, it was none my business but my gut is telling me it will all end in tears and I wont tell her.

[juli017]

Tell your friends that it's hurting you when you tell them about their relationship, marriage, baby plans etc etc

 

It's easier to cope when you hang out with people you know well and can talk comfortably with.

 

Or you could do all the venting/talking and they can just sit and listen like all friends should =D

[Hobbit]

Yeah, Ive been feeling this too. I was due to get married next year and this past month especially practically everyone I know has tied the knot or had a baby.

 

Try not to let it get you down, Ive actually gone to few wedding venues / baby showers to face my fears. You have to understand that if they are indeed your friends you should be happy for them. Dont let the **** that happening to you get you down, we will all have our time with the right person. All good things n that......

[Tree_Salmon]

I'm not' date=' most people I've known are now divorced or are in a marriage they'd rather not be in i.e unhappy, oh how lucky to be free and yet so many want to to rush to be married, why oh why?[/quote']

 

This is mostly what ive seen. They've either been divorced, married because they think its the "right thing to do", suffering in silence, or cheating on their wives.

 

In fact, about 70% of the guys I know cheat on their wives. Or are completely ball-less.

 

What a great thing to be married huh?

[Tree_Salmon]

Yeah, Ive been feeling this too. I was due to get married next year and this past month especially practically everyone I know has tied the knot or had a baby.

 

Try not to let it get you down, Ive actually gone to few wedding venues / baby showers to face my fears. You have to understand that if they are indeed your friends you should be happy for them. Dont let the **** that happening to you get you down, we will all have our time with the right person. All good things n that......

 

I've done the same. I've been to so many weddings but at this point im desensitized.

 

Just pisses me off because I always thought of our relationship as better than most of these people.

 

We were a really cool couple, I didn't think it would fall under the stereotypical bull.

[steveblack]

Since my BU i have been to two weddings and about to go to my third. All weddings people are asking me "where is EX".

 

Yeah I know how you feel.

 

GREAT!!!

[CptObvious]

Since my BU i have been to two weddings and about to go to my third. All weddings people are asking me "where is EX".

 

Yeah I know how you feel.

 

GREAT!!!

 

I'd rather drive into a brick wall at 40km/h than go to a wedding.

[Tree_Salmon]

I'd rather drive into a brick wall at 40km/h than go to a wedding.

 

This topic is bringing us all together.

 

Weddings are useless anyway. Waste of money.

[flitzanu]

haha tree, the title of this just made me laugh. i agree.

[suladas]

I've been the opposite weddings are fun, and I always go alone and it never bothered me. Open bar, good food, hot drunk single women. But I haven't been to a wedding in quite a while so it may feel different now. I've got two in the next year at least.

[Tree_Salmon]

I've been the opposite weddings are fun, and I always go alone and it never bothered me. Open bar, good food, hot drunk single women. But I haven't been to a wedding in quite a while so it may feel different now. I've got two in the next year at least.

 

The "hot drunk women" you speak of are very few and far between. I've seen sloppy nasty ones.

 

It's usually a long boring drag out where you hope to get drunk as fast as possible and then vomit next to the plants outside.

[Floored]

I'm with you 100% on all points you've said: I thought me and my ex were above our friends who dated for three months and married because they felt it was time; we've seen a number of our married friends cheat on each other/ divorce because of it; so many miserable guys who put up with marriage and not even 25 yet.

 

I wanted to be married, I guess I was the only one, and I think what's most frustrating is that I think I'd be great in that role, whereas all my friends were miserable before and hate it more so now. I pretend that it'll only make me better when I get to finally find a wife, but the whole thing seems like a sham now.

 

When I go to my next wedding, I want you to come with me Tree; you can be my +1. I need a buddy to puke in the bushes with me.

[Tree_Salmon]

I'm with you 100% on all points you've said: I thought me and my ex were above our friends who dated for three months and married because they felt it was time; we've seen a number of our married friends cheat on each other/ divorce because of it; so many miserable guys who put up with marriage and not even 25 yet.

 

I wanted to be married, I guess I was the only one, and I think what's most frustrating is that I think I'd be great in that role, whereas all my friends were miserable before and hate it more so now. I pretend that it'll only make me better when I get to finally find a wife, but the whole thing seems like a sham now.

 

When I go to my next wedding, I want you to come with me Tree; you can be my +1. I need a buddy to puke in the bushes with me.

 

Yeah we didn't even want a big deal wedding. We wanted a quiet family thing. I could live with that. Save money for important things, like all the sex equipment to hang from the ceiling.

 

Weddings are about as fun as watching an old man take a dump.