Author johnc342345 Posted September 19, 2012 Author Share Posted September 19, 2012 No thats not it at all. I'm sorry but I try to see the good in people and when me and her are on good terms its amazing! We've had far more great times then bad. I think shes just going through something right now she needs to figure out on her own. Mike I'm not looking for a pity party and I never said I'd never meet another soul on this earth lol I'm a great guy and very outgoing and I do reach out to people I just tend to be a little to nice to the ladies and wind up getting **** on Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 No thats not it at all. I'm sorry but I try to see the good in people and when me and her are on good terms its amazing! We've had far more great times then bad. I think shes just going through something right now she needs to figure out on her own. Mike I'm not looking for a pity party and I never said I'd never meet another soul on this earth lol I'm a great guy and very outgoing and I do reach out to people I just tend to be a little to nice to the ladies and wind up getting **** on Seeing the good in people is great but you also have to realize and accept that when you see bad, you see bad. When you are on good terms, it's great. When you are not on good terms, it's bad. This is someone that hates you one day and loves you another. I will repeat that in every post. Consistency is what you do not have. The above means nothing. Relationship can't survive on rollercoasters. You know what you need to do so do it. You best talk to yourself and figure your path because nothing anyone is saying will help you see the other side. Sometimes you have to fall several times before you learn, and learn the hard way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author johnc342345 Posted September 20, 2012 Author Share Posted September 20, 2012 Yeah, I'm just gonna ignore her and give her some space and work on bettering myself. See she always made it seem like i was the one that needed to change when in all honesty its her. She doesn't know how to let someone care about her or love her the way she is supposed to. So until i see some major changes in her for the better and that she is making an honest effort to make us work, then i'll talk to her again , but until then i have to do whats best for me. Thanks everyone for the help Link to post Share on other sites
Author johnc342345 Posted September 20, 2012 Author Share Posted September 20, 2012 Well i texted her today cause i havent heard anything from her since monday and i got sick of waiting around not knowing what was going on. So she ignores most of the texts. Well i text her saying are you done i love you and you say you love me let me know something please and she said were done sorry i freaked a little bit but caught myself i said you just wanted to try and have kids last week what happened? she said stop its over i care about you always will but were just not meant for each other im sorry i really am. So i was wondering if i handled what i told her well and gained some self respect back by texting her saying : well i think your missing out cause the old john you fell in love with is back I've come a long way since friday and did a lot of soul searching yeah i fked up a few times but ive fixed most of it. No reply then i said fk it im not gonna beg for her and sent her this : well when you figure out what you want let me know . Until then i have to delete you from my life I'm sorry I love you but you clearly never loved me. Goodbye Link to post Share on other sites
Mike_d Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 (edited) wtf.... didnt you say Yeah, I'm just gonna ignore her and now you've chosen to ignore all the advice. no, you gained nothing. and now you're just tossing out breadcrumbs and hoping to create drama. she said stop its over i care about you always will but were just not meant for each other im sorry i really am. you have your message - are you listening? Edited September 20, 2012 by Mike_d Link to post Share on other sites
Author johnc342345 Posted September 20, 2012 Author Share Posted September 20, 2012 No i really needed to know this today. its been a month since we broke up i needed to find out once and for all. She wanted to keep stringing me along and I'm better then that Shes out of my life now and I'm not gonna text her again even if she texts me Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 So i was wondering if i handled what i told her well and gained some self respect back by texting her saying : well i think your missing out cause the old john you fell in love with is back I've come a long way since friday and did a lot of soul searching yeah i fked up a few times but ive fixed most of it. No reply then i said fk it im not gonna beg for her and sent her this : well when you figure out what you want let me know . Until then i have to delete you from my life I'm sorry I love you but you clearly never loved me. Goodbye I think you lost your self-respect by texting her again. And you lost it even more when you tried to sell yourself to her by saying the old john is back. Trying to prove your worth to her, trying to sell your value, after she said he does not want to be with you. You said you won't beg for her but yet you send her another text telling her that when she figures it out to let you know, even AFTER she said she is done and does not want to be with you. Do you see what you are doing? Stop. Please. Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 OMG, STOP! She knows she has you by the balls, she knows your "threats" to not talk to her and whatnot are bulls.hit. Dude you are embarrassing yourself!! Have some self respect, this girl is a user! Why are you asking for advice when you are ignoring all of it?! You said you won't text her, and then you text her some BULLS.HIT about how you have "changed" since...FRIDAY?! :rolleyes: not even possible. Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 No i really needed to know this today. its been a month since we broke up i needed to find out once and for all. She wanted to keep stringing me along and I'm better then that Shes out of my life now and I'm not gonna text her again even if she texts me Really? I sure hope you stick with that! Honestly I am shocked you are 28 yrs old. I fully expected you both to be about 20 yrs old with the drama and the freakin baby thing... Link to post Share on other sites
Author johnc342345 Posted September 22, 2012 Author Share Posted September 22, 2012 Ive never threatened to be done with her before ever! So no she doesnt know my ''threats'' cause I was always there for her through thick and thin, and always respected her. Now here's the thing all i did was show i gave a damn about this girl. When i sensed there was something wrong with her she'd get mad cause I asked her to talk to me about it just trying to offer my help. Now you guys dont know the whole story about her mood swings and i endured a lot of her **** and was there for her through it all!! I've talked to my father the other night and from day one he and all other people I've talked to about this say she is bipolar I did the research and my mother is actually Bipolar and everything my ex has done in the past with her unexplainable mood swings, irritability, and freak out sessions proves that she may just actually have a mental illness. I mean she could be all alone in bed and totally freak out over nothing her anxiety would go through the roof and she would start hyperventilating only because she thought she couldnt breath. Now I love this girl very much and because I've lived with a bipolar mother I understand this disease and I do want to be there for her through it, because it is a long and bumpy road. No its not because I'm desperate or cant get any other women Its because i love this girl unconditionally Link to post Share on other sites
Author johnc342345 Posted September 22, 2012 Author Share Posted September 22, 2012 and in all honesty its not me who needs to change its her she needs help Link to post Share on other sites
Author johnc342345 Posted September 22, 2012 Author Share Posted September 22, 2012 but since she said it was over, I haven't pleaded with her, i havent texted her, I dropped out of her life. I think she needs to see what life is like without me in it. I just dont see how just last week she seemed so emotionally attached to me and so crazy about me then this week its over . Link to post Share on other sites
Mike_d Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 that's the way life goes some times. using logic in an irrational situation doesn't work, there is nothing to be gained by trying to connect the dots, it's an exercise in futility acceptance of the situation as it is, and not how you wish it was, is key now in order to move forward Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 but since she said it was over, I haven't pleaded with her, i havent texted her, I dropped out of her life. I think she needs to see what life is like without me in it. I just dont see how just last week she seemed so emotionally attached to me and so crazy about me then this week its over . Dude im in the same position, I stopped reaching out for a month now finally. I basically txted and called non stop for 2 weeks while we were in the breakup. But then everything went crazy and I just decided no matter what happens, bdays, death etc.. I would not contact her at all. The fact is she needs to see as you said life without you in it. It's going to hurt her too, because the routine she has with you WON'T be there. The only other thing I personally get worried about is the girl finding a new routine. For example finding a new guy, or making herself busy with school or work more often to compensate for the loss. There is no good or bad news, All you and I can do is wait it off. Maybe they will realize something and maybe they won't. But who knows where we will be in life. another month from now and things might be different. Link to post Share on other sites
Mike_d Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 wait??? really? you're just going to sit and wait, put your life on hold? waiting for someone who has already said that they don't want you? please tell me there was more to your stmt than that Link to post Share on other sites
Author johnc342345 Posted September 22, 2012 Author Share Posted September 22, 2012 Lostone yeah but see after the break up i totally backed off I didnt go NC but i did give her, her space and only talked to her when she texted me. I never texted her first except for yesterday, and it was a bad mistake. I should have just left it alone and let her reach out to me again. I hope its not too late cause I really care about this girl a lot, but the only thing i can do is let her go, better myself , and wish her the best. If she wants me in her life she'll put me there , but they will be under my conditions this time and she'll have to treat me better. Mike your right again, but I do regret texting her yesterday cause we did get along amazing last week I think if i would have left it alone and let her contact me first, it may have been different cause just monday she did say she still loved me. So hopefully if i keep up with the NC she'll miss me again. Cause if she acted that attached to me just last week , hopefully she can feel that way again. I need to just focus on me for right now though and better myself whether shes part of my life or not. Letting go of her is the hardest thing I've ever done.... Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Lostone yeah but see after the break up i totally backed off I didnt go NC but i did give her, her space and only talked to her when she texted me. I never texted her first except for yesterday, and it was a bad mistake. I should have just left it alone and let her reach out to me again. I hope its not too late cause I really care about this girl a lot, but the only thing i can do is let her go, better myself , and wish her the best. If she wants me in her life she'll put me there , but they will be under my conditions this time and she'll have to treat me better. Mike your right again, but I do regret texting her yesterday cause we did get along amazing last week I think if i would have left it alone and let her contact me first, it may have been different cause just monday she did say she still loved me. So hopefully if i keep up with the NC she'll miss me again. Cause if she acted that attached to me just last week , hopefully she can feel that way again. I need to just focus on me for right now though and better myself whether shes part of my life or not. Letting go of her is the hardest thing I've ever done.... ya texting her wasn't a good idea... I did the same for 2 weeks kept in contact even when she wanted space. I was afraid I'd lose her to another guy that was close with her. But all it did was make things 100 times more worse. It might have destroyed any chance we have now. But I have gone NC for a month and well personally it's helped ME heal. Talking to her was hard, because all you get is a the anger and cold side of the person. And that hurts a lot to know someone who always loved you and was kind suddenly becomes cold. going full NC is the only way to heal yourself, and as a bonus can win someone back. But the way I see it now.. what's the point in pushing urself to someone if they left you? I mean they left you because they don't want you. And sure there is a time when they might want you back, but are too scared to admit it or tell you. But I always believe and I told my ex this, that if you love someone you will take them back without any conditions, because that's how love is.... but so far nothing from her as of yet and maybe never. So expect the same.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author johnc342345 Posted September 25, 2012 Author Share Posted September 25, 2012 Well bad news. I didn't contact her and she never contacted me. We'll a mutual friend of ours texted me today and told me she was in a relationship this guy is terrible looking but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I'm starting to think she was just bull****ting me all along. Its sad because i loved that girl unconditionally and would have done anything for her. I thought she was different then she changed. I was there for her through so much and only wanted to show her i cared and that I was the first guy she could actually trust. She's changed so much over a year that it hurts me knowing how she used to be. I'm Totally broken right now. Thanks everyone for all the help though. This is not how i expected this to turn out The saddest part about all this is, I believed her whenever she said she loved me.. Link to post Share on other sites
Am313 Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 Keep in mind you're talking about a girl with emotional issues. Women are emotionally ruled by their nature, and her having other issues is even tougher. I'm sure she still loves you, and I'm sure she didn't lie to you. It's a fact of life; Most women either have a backup waiting or jump into a relationship right after a break up. It's a crutch for their emotions. When problems arise, they distance themselves emotionally and when they feel ready they end the relationship and start another one so they don't hurt. Happens more often than not. What do you do? STICK TO NO CONTACT!!!!!!!!! YOU WILL FEEL BETTER!!!! If you try to contact her, even ONCE you WILL feel 100 times worse. Keep your mouth closed and let the dust settle. She'll miss you eventually, she may even contact you. But you need to work on yourself. Find hobbies, play sports, dive into work. You'll be fine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 Well bad news. I didn't contact her and she never contacted me. We'll a mutual friend of ours texted me today and told me she was in a relationship this guy is terrible looking but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I'm starting to think she was just bull****ting me all along. Its sad because i loved that girl unconditionally and would have done anything for her. I thought she was different then she changed. I was there for her through so much and only wanted to show her i cared and that I was the first guy she could actually trust. She's changed so much over a year that it hurts me knowing how she used to be. I'm Totally broken right now. Thanks everyone for all the help though. This is not how i expected this to turn out The saddest part about all this is, I believed her whenever she said she loved me.. i know how you feel man. I feel in some ways my ex is maybe with another guy. I think her trip changed her as a person.. feels like she is someone else now. And that can be sad and crazy, because you know this person so well and in a certain way. Then you see them as a totally different person, one you can't believe in... and believe the change. And it does hurt a little at first. But then you realize why love this person.. if they are NOT themselves anymore. They are someone else now and not the one that you loved or they loved. And then you learn to move on... Link to post Share on other sites
Author johnc342345 Posted September 25, 2012 Author Share Posted September 25, 2012 Yeah I'm actually packing right now gonna go back to chicago for a few weeks and kinda unwind and work a bit. I just dont see how someone who supposedly loves you could do this I was there for her through so much even got up and got dressed and went to her house at 5am just to lay with her and calm her down I laid with my chest against her back so she could breath cause she was freaking out. I guess i'll let all my actions do the talking for me. I'm not gonna contact her or be a dick about it. But i did unblock her from facebook but i saw where she liked a mutual friends pic saying Dear ex im not gonna block you or delete you cause i want you to see how happy i am without you. Now i can see her liking that if i was a total douche to her but i honestly cared about this girl and was good to her. I just hate this Link to post Share on other sites
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