wounded!!!

[peppapig]

Hi all,

I am looking for some support. I have read a lot on this and it is a fabulous site for people.

 

Here is a brief story

I meet a man over a year ago, I was mad about him, he was extremely supportive etc. I did find though as the time went on that he was very controlling and demanding. I was going through a divorce, am a single mother to 2 children and was working long hours to support them. I was going through an emotional rollercoaster and the more he pushed me the more i pulled back. Unfortunately we broke up. He rang me demanding to see me during wwork, I said no and he practically disappeared.

 

I was an idiot as for 2 and a half months tried to make contact with him. As soon as I stopped he then made contact to me with abusive texts. Foolishly I though he was trying to return and as I know my responsibility in the break up I was willing to see if we could talk.

 

I then heard that he has a gf. He meet her the week after we broke up, so he is with her now 3 months. After only 6 weeks of seeing her he went abroad with her and there is pictures all over a net working site of them.

 

I am so hurt, I dont want him back, but the whole thing has destroyed my confidence. I feel wounded that this man wanted to marry me, move in with me, have babies with me and 2 weeks later he is in love with someone wlse. I feel like a fool. I spent so long crying for him, i still miss him and on the other hand I am sore to my core for believing him.

 

I hope to hear some feed back to give me strength. Thanks all xx

[WesternWoman]

First off, it's pretty clear that you're still going through the pain of a divorce. That isn't going to change over night. This new relationship seemed like a nice distraction from having to deal with those emotions and an outlet to express some of them but it's just that, a distraction.

 

You've got two scared little kids in the mix and you've got to take the best possible care of yourself and them during this time. Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to grieve. You are not yet in a strong enough place to attract a healthy man to bring into your family and hooking up with controlling jerks like this won't make you feel any better. They will leave you feeling more rejected, confused and hurt.

 

This guy is a jerk, was a poor fit for you, not worth your time. Stop checking in on him, it only hurts you and he has moved on. Think of it as your rebound, you're still sexy, you've still got it.. but you don't need anyone to further scramble your heart right now.

 

Focus your energies on loving yourself, everything that you need is already within you. You don't need a man during this time to get through this, in fact it will derail you from feeling more whole and confident on your own.

 

Be well and healthy, for you and your kiddos.