Men talking about women

[ThaWholigan]

When a lot of guys talk about dating, or anything to do with it, inevitably we tend to talk about the woman's physique. Not usually to be disparaging (some guys are, and quite vocal about it), but we generally gravitate towards that area.

 

Now, I do love a woman's body. I like looking at it, I like talking about it, I like feeling it. And I'm sure most guys here do too. I like all kind of bodies too, it's probably a good thing that no woman's body is the same. I can freely admit it with a smile .

 

But every now and then, there are dissenters that think we are somehow bad for talking about women's bodies. The problem that I have with this is that they assume that it is all we care about. I have actually gone at great lengths to talk about many other things that I am attracted to about women that do not include her body, as have quite a few guys I know both offline and online. But it seems it is not enough.

 

So what is the solution? Do we stop talking about or acknowledging a woman's body just to appease?

 

Sounds like a ridiculous question.

[KungFuJoe]

Keep talking, keep admiring, keep loving.

 

That's my motto.

[yongyong]

I read bat sxit crazy things here all the time.

 

I figured out why.

 

This is the face, body, voice of average American women here.

Obviously, they will get offended if guys talk about 'body'

 

[KungFuJoe]

P.S., women talk about the physiques of men all the time. When you sleep with the typical woman, soon all her friends will know exactly how big (or small ) your penis is, how muscular your body is, how hairy your ass is, everything.

 

So, in other words, she becomes a walking advertisement for you.

 

Nice!

[xxoo]

I've always enjoyed reading gay personal ads for kicks.

 

Men looking for men always talk about bodies, too, but the men don't mind. It is a major reason men date--physical attraction. It is what it is. It isn't wrong.

[verhrzn]

You could just save your glowing remarks about women's bodies for private conversations with friends, or for the woman you're with. When men talk about women's bodies in such a public way, even if their hearts are in the right place, there's a certain... objectifying going on. Literally, the women's bodies become objects. Something to be looked at, something to be consumed. It is not a happy thing to feel like you are an object. Like your worth is somehow tied up in the thing you reside in.

 

Yes, you talk about other things you like. But you need to realize context.... tat culture still places so, so, SO much emphasis on women's value being tied to women's looks. You may mean your comments in a light-hearted, appreciative way, but they are occurring in a culture that treats physical attractiveness as paramount in a woman.

 

Speaking personally, I also feel very saddened when guys on here go on and on about what they like physically, because I could never ever match it. While guys' tastes MAY be somewhat individual, certain body types are still prized over others. So when you hear men go on and on and ON about how gorgeous this specific body type is, it really gets into women's brains and implants notions of inferiority. The implication being that, if you are not this body type, you are not beautiful. (I have yet to see or hear any male going on and on about how short fat women with tiny boobs are so hot.)

 

My question is, why do you NEED to talk about women's physique? Why is it necessary to discuss it in such a way? It seems to go beyond "hm I like this" into.... well, drolly territory. Why does your need to discuss women's bodies override women's need to not hear their bodies being judged?

[mesmerized]

It's not just about talking about womens bodies but how you do it, in a tasteful or distasteful manner.

[SteveC80]

Women do the same exact thing they just dont like when the shoes on the other foot and their gender is being judged it makes them insecure

 

Dont pay attention to these people

[ThaWholigan]

Men should just ignore them, or make exclusively disparaging comments (about random women who dress scantily in particular, falsely advertising something that's probably not even on the market. Paying a kind, smart, or classy lady a compliment, on the other hand, should be encouraged and is something else altogether but I dont think that's what you're talking about).

 

Those same women you sit with your friends and fawn over, go out with their girlfriends later to laugh about how easy it is to control men.

 

P.S., women talk about the physiques of men all the time. When you sleep with the typical woman, soon all her friends will know exactly how big (or small ) your penis is, how muscular your body is, how hairy your ass is, everything. I seldom, if ever, hear men go in depth about the vagina of a specific woman they're sleeping with, and trust me I know a lot of scumbags .

I don't know if you know this - but your posts entertain me so much .

 

For what it's worth, I know so many guys who are a little too open about their sexual exploits with me than I would care to know, I shudder at the lack of discretion. I was just on the bus today actually where these guys were talking about girls from their school (they were young). They were so loud, yet so graphic I almost wanted to turn around and tell the little bastards to STFU. At which point, they started to talk about football instead.....

 

When it comes to women for me, I am not limited in the ways I appreciate them - depending on their behavior. I am sparing in my compliments and always have been. I like talking about women's bodies because I like them - but that doesn't mean their bodies take precedence.

 

And yeah, women talk about men too. Like us though, they do it amongst themselves. The few close female friends I have had do let the cat out the bag when it comes to what they talk about. Some girls talk a lot of sh*t though, especially about things like penis size. I think girls don't know how to measure - as I found out the 1st time I eventually had sex.

[SteveC80]

You could just save your glowing remarks about women's bodies for private conversations with friends, or for the woman you're with. When men talk about women's bodies in such a public way, even if their hearts are in the right place, there's a certain... objectifying going on. Literally, the women's bodies become objects. Something to be looked at, something to be consumed. It is not a happy thing to feel like you are an object. Like your worth is somehow tied up in the thing you reside in.

 

Yes, you talk about other things you like. But you need to realize context.... tat culture still places so, so, SO much emphasis on women's value being tied to women's looks. You may mean your comments in a light-hearted, appreciative way, but they are occurring in a culture that treats physical attractiveness as paramount in a woman.

 

Speaking personally, I also feel very saddened when guys on here go on and on about what they like physically, because I could never ever match it. While guys' tastes MAY be somewhat individual, certain body types are still prized over others. So when you hear men go on and on and ON about how gorgeous this specific body type is, it really gets into women's brains and implants notions of inferiority. The implication being that, if you are not this body type, you are not beautiful. (I have yet to see or hear any male going on and on about how short fat women with tiny boobs are so hot.)

 

My question is, why do you NEED to talk about women's physique? Why is it necessary to discuss it in such a way? It seems to go beyond "hm I like this" into.... well, drolly territory. Why does your need to discuss women's bodies override women's need to not hear their bodies being judged?

 

And when i see physical ideal for women threads i dont see one post mention short men as their ideal yet people here tell the short men to stop whining maybe women should do the same

[mesmerized]

Honestly, what we discuss or mention the most about a man's body is his penis. The rest we just say like he was hot or average or not too good. We rarely get into details unless asked.

[verhrzn]

And when i see physical ideal for women threads i dont see one post mention short men as their ideal yet people here tell the short men to stop whining maybe women should do the same

 

No instead you see women saying they mostly don't care about a guy's looks so long as he's A, B and C. Instead of saying they see short men or tall men or bald men or hairy men, women just say they want a guy they "are attracted to."

 

I have yet to see ANY female poster go on for any length about specific body parts on men she loves, posting pictures, getting all gooey... but I've seen it over and over from male posters. There's even an "butt or boob man" thread on the forum's first page! Think how that makes women feel. Women have to fit SO many standards of beauty. How bout showing some empathy for that once in a while, and keeping your opinion of women's bodies to yourself?

[yongyong]

This is not a coffee shop.

 

You can talk more openly here.

 

Go to sex talk forum. I remember this lady kept talking about how she likes it when his guy plays with her clit.

 

Would she look like an absolute dirty whore if she said that in a coffee shop? Yes.

Here? no it's ok to share a private story.

 

 

 

 

You could just save your glowing remarks about women's bodies for private conversations with friends, or for the woman you're with. When men talk about women's bodies in such a public way, even if their hearts are in the right place, there's a certain... objectifying going on. Literally, the women's bodies become objects. Something to be looked at, something to be consumed. It is not a happy thing to feel like you are an object. Like your worth is somehow tied up in the thing you reside in.

 

Yes, you talk about other things you like. But you need to realize context.... tat culture still places so, so, SO much emphasis on women's value being tied to women's looks. You may mean your comments in a light-hearted, appreciative way, but they are occurring in a culture that treats physical attractiveness as paramount in a woman.

 

Speaking personally, I also feel very saddened when guys on here go on and on about what they like physically, because I could never ever match it. While guys' tastes MAY be somewhat individual, certain body types are still prized over others. So when you hear men go on and on and ON about how gorgeous this specific body type is, it really gets into women's brains and implants notions of inferiority. The implication being that, if you are not this body type, you are not beautiful. (I have yet to see or hear any male going on and on about how short fat women with tiny boobs are so hot.)

 

My question is, why do you NEED to talk about women's physique? Why is it necessary to discuss it in such a way? It seems to go beyond "hm I like this" into.... well, drolly territory. Why does your need to discuss women's bodies override women's need to not hear their bodies being judged?

[Oxy Moronovich]

ThaWholigan, the problem is the chicks somehow wanna act as if we dudes can only like one type of woman. Every guy likes a variety of different women. I'll walk down the street and walk and turn my head to check out the chick who is 5'10" with big boobs and nice rear end. Then, when she's gone, I'll check out the 4'11" petite chick.

 

Dumb posts like the type verzhn writes are irritating because she acts like all men only like one type of women.

[SteveC80]

No instead you see women saying they mostly don't care about a guy's looks

 

 

:laugh: get the hell outta here with that nonsense

[verhrzn]

This is not a coffee shop.

 

You can talk more openly here.

 

Go to sex talk forum. I remember this lady kept talking about how she likes it when his guy plays with her clit.

 

Would she look like an absolute dirty whore if she said that in a coffee shop? Yes.

Here? no it's ok to share a private story.

 

This may not be a coffee shop, but it is still a public place. We should still have respect for other people's feelings, especially since a lot of people who come here do so in pain or conflict.

 

Let's say you're a woman with low body image. You come onto this forum... and you see thread after thread of guys talking about women's big butts, or big boobs, or how a woman is without "value" after 30. How do you think you would feel, as a woman? I have seen multiple examples of this just today.... and I have yet to see a female poster complain about a man's height or looks or penis or anything.

 

Again, why does your desire to talk about women's bodies override a woman's desire to not be objectified? Why is it NECESSARY to discuss women's bodies? What value does it add? What messages does it send? This forum is still a community... what sort of community are we? The kind where women feel welcome, or the kind where they do not because they are judged (explicitly or implicitly) by their looks?

[ThaWholigan]

You could just save your glowing remarks about women's bodies for private conversations with friends, or for the woman you're with. When men talk about women's bodies in such a public way, even if their hearts are in the right place, there's a certain... objectifying going on. Literally, the women's bodies become objects. Something to be looked at, something to be consumed. It is not a happy thing to feel like you are an object. Like your worth is somehow tied up in the thing you reside in.

 

I generally do keep it to my private conversations - but I feel like when I come onto sites where there are women, I have to literally censor myself when it comes to describing it. It's not the only thing I talk about with regards to women, but I feel like I'm not even supposed to mention it and it's stupid IMO.

 

I understand that women don't want to be seen as objects, and there is nothing wrong with that. But your body is not an object, it's you. I think a lot of girls should be proud of their body, even if it isn't exactly like some stupid "desirable" measurement. If I had a pound for every girl whose physique I have admired who was FAR from any ideal I hold - I almost DON'T have an ideal. If a girl only talked about my body, I don't think I would give two sh*ts. And women do talk about men's bodies a lot these days .

 

Yes, you talk about other things you like. But you need to realize context.... tat culture still places so, so, SO much emphasis on women's value being tied to women's looks. You may mean your comments in a light-hearted, appreciative way, but they are occurring in a culture that treats physical attractiveness as paramount in a woman.

 

Understood. However, I think that culture very much exists amongst both genders right about now.

 

For what it's worth, I think I have over-extended myself on the internet and in real life to place an emphasis elsewhere. I'm almost sick of NOT talking about a woman's physique sometimes . I was at least able to do it more freely on Wrongplanet - nobody was that bothered.

 

Speaking personally, I also feel very saddened when guys on here go on and on about what they like physically, because I could never ever match it. While guys' tastes MAY be somewhat individual, certain body types are still prized over others. So when you hear men go on and on and ON about how gorgeous this specific body type is, it really gets into women's brains and implants notions of inferiority. The implication being that, if you are not this body type, you are not beautiful. (I have yet to see or hear any male going on and on about how short fat women with tiny boobs are so hot.)

 

I think that is more to do with tact on our part. Some guys are very over-zealous with their preferences. I think that those guys who have the particular specific in mind that you are probably thinking of are more vocal than most. They also tend to belittle the tastes of men who think differently from them in the same brash manner.

 

Any body type can be beautiful though, I think sometimes it's less to do with body type and more to do with the physical expression of the woman. It displays not just her physique but her inner life, the way it is expressed. I'm as much fascinated with a woman's expression than I am with just her physique in general.

 

For what it's worth, short fat women with tiny boobs might not be conventionally hot, but they DO have their admirers in my experience. Understated, yes. But still.....

 

My question is, why do you NEED to talk about women's physique? Why is it necessary to discuss it in such a way? It seems to go beyond "hm I like this" into.... well, drolly territory. Why does your need to discuss women's bodies override women's need to not hear their bodies being judged?

 

Because they aren't being judged? They're being admired.

 

I don't need to talk about it, no. But again, maybe I am not being empathetic, but I think it's kinda stupid that we can talk about anything else except a woman's body. So I guess we will just admire it in private then . No problem.

 

 

Still stupid though IMO.....

 

 

 

It's not just about talking about womens bodies but how you do it, in a tasteful or distasteful manner.

 

Agreed.

[verhrzn]

:laugh: get the hell outta here with that nonsense

 

Please, find me an example from this forum from today in which a woman talked about a man's looks in the same specific way male posters do. Where is the female equivalent of the "Butt or Boobs" thread?

 

ThaWholigan, the problem is the chicks somehow wanna act as if we dudes can only like one type of woman. Every guy likes a variety of different women. I'll walk down the street and walk and turn my head to check out the chick who is 5'10" with big boobs and nice rear end. Then, when she's gone, I'll check out the 4'11" petite chick.

 

Dumb posts like the type verzhn writes are irritating because she acts like all men only like one type of women.

 

I just call 'em like I see 'em. You want to promote the idea that men have a wide variety of taste, then maybe male posters should actually try posting multiple examples of attractive.... not just "skinny with big boobs" or "skinny with big butt." I'll believe men enjoy a variety of looks when I hear a guy drooling over the fat girl with small boobs.

[ThaWholigan]

Honestly, what we discuss or mention the most about a man's body is his penis. The rest we just say like he was hot or average or not too good. We rarely get into details unless asked.

 

Heh, they send around a lot of the cock pics they get too. I don't know why guys do that. Either way, girls are a lot more vocal nowadays, where I live they have no discretion. I'm reminded of a train journey 2 years ago which 2 girls were describing having their perineum licked at the top of their lungs .

 

ThaWholigan, the problem is the chicks somehow wanna act as if we dudes can only like one type of woman. Every guy likes a variety of different women. I'll walk down the street and walk and turn my head to check out the chick who is 5'10" with big boobs and nice rear end. Then, when she's gone, I'll check out the 4'11" petite chick.

 

Dumb posts like the type verzhn writes are irritating because she acts like all men only like one type of women.

 

I understand why verhrzn feels that way, I just think it doesn't do girls any favors to dwell on it to be honest. We all get objectified on some level these days, I just think it's still raw for a lot of women.

 

However, I absolutely agree with your first point - not all men like the same women. We are not that rigid at all.

[insertnamehere]

The solution is to develop a male version of female doublespeak.

 

Example, when women mean they want "a guy with money" they don't crassly say that. Nope. They use their favorite code word: "ambition".

 

Second example: confidence = physical attractiveness. Go ask an ugly guy below 5'6" how much it matters to women whether he approaches confidently. It doesn't. Confidence is born of success. Initial success if born of attractiveness.

 

"Great smile" might be my all-time favorite. It means financial stability, since it requires dental insurance to have a great smile.

 

"Sense of humor" actually means "intelligence", but also with the understanding that it includes social skills, not autism.

 

The difference between men and women is that women have an ingrained gift for doublespeak. The closest men get is saying "bewbs" when they really mean "boobs".

[yongyong]

I Kind of agree with your statement.

 

Do you know how stupid it is when women keeps saying 'I am applying for your GF position but please don't judge me by my looks'

You can say that when you are applying to be a telemarketer.

They say that while they judge guys by their looks too.

 

I just want to say Men and Women are equal when it comes to judging each other by looks.

We all have the same desire to be with someone beautiful to us.

 

 

 

This may not be a coffee shop, but it is still a public place. We should still have respect for other people's feelings, especially since a lot of people who come here do so in pain or conflict.

 

Let's say you're a woman with low body image. You come onto this forum... and you see thread after thread of guys talking about women's big butts, or big boobs, or how a woman is without "value" after 30. How do you think you would feel, as a woman? I have seen multiple examples of this just today.... and I have yet to see a female poster complain about a man's height or looks or penis or anything.

 

Again, why does your desire to talk about women's bodies override a woman's desire to not be objectified? Why is it NECESSARY to discuss women's bodies? What value does it add? What messages does it send? This forum is still a community... what sort of community are we? The kind where women feel welcome, or the kind where they do not because they are judged (explicitly or implicitly) by their looks?

[verhrzn]

I generally do keep it to my private conversations - but I feel like when I come onto sites where there are women, I have to literally censor myself when it comes to describing it. It's not the only thing I talk about with regards to women, but I feel like I'm not even supposed to mention it and it's stupid IMO.

 

I understand that women don't want to be seen as objects, and there is nothing wrong with that. But your body is not an object, it's you. I think a lot of girls should be proud of their body, even if it isn't exactly like some stupid "desirable" measurement. If I had a pound for every girl whose physique I have admired who was FAR from any ideal I hold - I almost DON'T have an ideal. If a girl only talked about my body, I don't think I would give two sh*ts. And women do talk about men's bodies a lot these days .

 

*Shrugs* Women get to say how they want to be seen. We all have a right to say," This makes us uncomfortable." If a woman feels uncomfortable, or objectified, it isn't your place to tell her she shouldn't feel that way.

 

Women can't read your mind. They don't know if you're objectifying them, or admiring them, or seeing their body as an extentiton of their inner life or whatever. All they are experiencing is you discussing their physical self. Your heart may be in the right place, but I think it's VERY easy to cross the line from "admiring" to "objectifying" unless you are absolutely explicit about your thoughts.

 

 

Understood. However, I think that culture very much exists amongst both genders right about now.

 

Yes-ish, kinda? Not denying that women are becoming more vocal about their appreciation for the male body.... but don't kid yourself, it's no where near equal.

 

This article does a fantastic job of pointing out just how unequal we still are in how we treat the female and male form. They took photos of male athletes and cropped them in a similar way that female athletes were shot. Looking through this article, even I, a heterosexual female, felt a little embarrassed... and yet when you look at the flip side with female athletes, it all seems completely normal.

 

Male Olympic Athletes Given Beach Volleyball Treatment (PICTURES)

 

 

 

Because they aren't being judged? They're being admired.

 

I don't need to talk about it, no. But again, maybe I am not being empathetic, but I think it's kinda stupid that we can talk about anything else except a woman's body. So I guess we will just admire it in private then . No problem.

 

Admired, judged.... either way, it becomes an object. Like a piece of art.

 

I think you CAN talk about it, just realize you have to walk very, very delicately. More empathy would probably lead to better discussions of women's bodies, honestly. The more you ask questions about women's viewpoint of their own bodies, and how they are perceived, the better you can grasp how you can talk about bodies in a non-offensive, flattering way. Admiration comes from true understanding, and understanding can only come from empathy.

[AD1980]

And when i see physical ideal for women threads i dont see one post mention short men as their ideal yet people here tell the short men to stop whining maybe women should do the same

 

AS a short dude it kinda of annoys me when women ignore that yet will throw a fit if you comment negatively on their kneecaps

 

In all honesty the women on this site arent nearly as bad with height and looks as pof and datehookup forums..

 

Theyres an official short man thread on both sites thats up to hundreds of pages and no exaggeration out of the thousand resposnes about 900 of em are short men bashing posts/tall men lust posts and maybe 7 out of a thousand women on those sites claim theyd ever touch a man under 5'10:laugh:

 

I dont even want to leave the house after vising those sites

Edited September 20, 2012 by AD1980

[verhrzn]

I Kind of agree with your statement.

 

Do you know how stupid it is when women keeps saying 'I am applying for your GF position but please don't judge me by my looks'

You can say that when you are applying to be a telemarketer.

They say that while they judge guys by their looks too.

 

I just want to say Men and Women are equal when it comes to judging each other by looks.

We all have the same desire to be with someone beautiful to us.

 

Maybe, MAYBE, men and women are equal in judging by looks. But I don't really buy that women objectify men in the same way.

 

Recently I was wandering around Reddit, and found an particularly disgusting subthread in which guys posted pictures they'd taken of unsuspecting women... down the shirt, up the shirt, sitting next to them on the bus, focusing on the butt, etc. All of these pictures, some of them even of minors, floating around the Internet...

 

Can you imagine how violated you would feel? If someone took your picture, and posted it on a website for other people to jerk off to? It makes most women's skin crawl. These men have no concern for that unsuspecting woman's privacy, her right to be in public without being a stand-in for porn...

 

Now maybe such threads exist where women do it to men. I have yet to find one, but I am willing to be corrected. I think once we see women objectifying men to the level where their privacy and their personhood is no longer respected, THEN we can say the objectification is equal.

[TheBigQuestion]

I like attractive skinny women with natural C-cup breasts.

 

OMG SOMEONE REPORT ME, I'M BEING SO OFFENSIVE AND INSENSITIVE TO WIMMENZ!!11!!!1!111!