Men talking about women

[LittlePrince]

 

Ha, regular? I've been a member for well over a year and have less than 700 posts!

 

you, on the other hand....

Well I am clearly not pretending to be important.

[Lonely Ronin]

The worst part? When I try to and men act as if it doesn't matter and instead want to know my cup size, whether or not my p#ssy is tight and if I'm into anything freaky in bed.

 

Where do you run into such d-bags?

[LittlePrince]

Where do you run into such d-bags?

Those science labs are something else. Always wanting to run weird experiments on you.

[Janesays]

Well I am clearly not pretending to be important.

 

And here is where I could be equally insulting, but I refrain. Because I try to treat people the way I'd like to be treated. It was pleasant debating with you all. Good night!

[jobaba]

FWIW, some of the most disgraceful partiers I knew in college were engineering students.

 

I can see the point you're making, but I think you vastly overestimate the career track of someone working in HR. I'm about 3 years out of college now and most of the women I know who started on the path you described are still tending bars and waiting tables. The sole female engineer I know was unemployed for over a year after graduation, so maybe you have a good point. Who knows?

 

Haha.

 

Tongue in cheek man.

 

BTW, the women in my engineering program were pretty good looking, but then again I tend to find beauty where most other men hear the sound, "Woof, woof."

 

Not that that has helped me any...

[todreaminblue]

^ Funny how most outspoken feminists majored in some BS in college like "Women's Studies." You want to change the world, try out engineering for a change. In that sense, I certainly agree with you. You want to be as good at something as men are? Go out and prove it.

 

 

i have done things men do and achieved better than some, have i changed the world no

 

i pray one day i can make a difference

 

but i have gotten what i desire from some men not all mind you.....respect and i have given respect back...to all men who show respect to women not just the ones who respect me.....always will.....deb

[Emilia]

 

The worst part? When I try to and men act as if it doesn't matter and instead want to know my cup size, whether or not my p#ssy is tight and if I'm into anything freaky in bed.

 

I wish men knew how disheartening that is.

 

While I agree with your posts I have to admit when I meet a smart man who makes me perk up with interest because of how clever and funny he is, I do start also wondering how big his c*ck is. It's just how it is, certainly isn't a male thing. Attraction matters but it's much more than skin deep.

[Emilia]

I'll tell you what...you don't listen to us. You just stare. When I'm talking to a guy about something REAL I always have to wonder if he really agrees or just want to get me into bed. Do my male friends really like me? Or are they hoping to take advantage of me someday? Does anything I ever do with my life REALLY matter? Or should I just buy a short skirt and be done with it already?

 

It's true to a degree but I think generally a lot of people are not that smart. He probably doesn't understand half the things you are saying.

 

Also, I've never talked about a man's penis, height, muscles, finances or any of that nonsense. I try to treat people like I want to be treated.

 

 

I do. To me a man is his brain, his intellect, his sense of humour, his body and his skill in bed. All of those things. Not so much his finances though ambition matters.

 

Attraction is a complex thing and some of it is physical but only SOME of it. I love physical guys and I have no problem admitting it. Physicality alone isn't enough though and that's where the trick lies I think.

[Woggle]

What I think some women don't understand is that just because a man might find them attractive doesn't mean that we don't respect them or that we discount other aspects of who they are. The two are not mutually exclusive and like Emilia said it is not just a male thing. It is simply natural to be turned on by people you find attractive. It is when you think that is all they are good that there is a problem.

[CC12]

What I think some women don't understand is that just because a man might find them attractive doesn't mean that we don't respect them or that we discount other aspects of who they are.

 

Oh, is that what some women don't understand? Thank you so much for showing us what a healthy attitude looks like, Woggle.

 

The other day I was in a store and there was a picture of a woman looking happy and I felt like she was laughing at me

 

Sorry for derailing this thread. I am just pissed off about things right now. Mods can feel free to delete those posts.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Dy,

 

I understand where you are coming from, but when you post about this topic, you remind me of how almost any conversation about a woman's physical appearance is a loose loose situation for a guy. I've picked up a date before and told her she looked beautiful or pretty etc, and gotten the "your not getting in my pants tonight" resonce, WTF? Iv'e also been on a date and gotten the pissed off "don't you think I'm pretty" question because "you didn't say anything". From a guys stand point, some times it seems like we are screwed either way.

 

Ronin, you saying something like that to your date is wonderful...and it's different from what I am talking about. But when men talk about women's bodies among themselves, they think they get a free pass to say whatever they want and not consider their words.

 

Both those examples oyu used showcase just how much women struggle with there image and the war they can have with their own looks. I don't think either response was fair to you or right but that is a different issue then what I am talking about.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

^ Funny how most outspoken feminists majored in some BS in college like "Women's Studies." You want to change the world, try out engineering for a change. In that sense, I certainly agree with you. You want to be as good at something as men are? Go out and prove it.

 

I see. So the only way a woman can change the world is if she enters stereotypically male defined professions??

[Disenchantedly Yours]

While I agree with your posts I have to admit when I meet a smart man who makes me perk up with interest because of how clever and funny he is, I do start also wondering how big his c*ck is. It's just how it is, certainly isn't a male thing. Attraction matters but it's much more than skin deep.

 

I think that both men and do that. "I wonder what they look like naked". But that's not really the issue I am talking about. The conversations we hold about each other are important. The way someone chooses to talk about the other is important. I get the impression that a lot of guys want to have the freedom to say whatever they want about women's bodies and women aren't allowed to say anything in return about how men are choosing to talk about them. It's like we are expected to just accept the way men are because men are horny and like women so it's okay if men objectfy us and talk about us like a collection of body parts instead of an entire person. That just doesn't seem right to me.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

What I think some women don't understand is that just because a man might find them attractive doesn't mean that we don't respect them or that we discount other aspects of who they are. The two are not mutually exclusive and like Emilia said it is not just a male thing. It is simply natural to be turned on by people you find attractive. It is when you think that is all they are good that there is a problem.

 

That isn't the issue. The issue isn't about men finding someone simply attractive. The issue is about how men choose to talk about women's bodies and how the OP in this case is choosing to talk about a woman behind her back and talk about which of her body parts he liked or didn't like. He talked about it because he wants to share what he likes about owmen. Not because it added anything to the conversation for us to know she has great breasts but is bigger than him.

 

You guys don't get it. You don't understand how often women hear comments about their bodies both good and bad. And I don't think a lot of you really care as long as you personally get to express what you like or don't like about women.

[Janesays]

And I don't think a lot of you really care as long as you personally get to express what you like or don't like about women.

 

And it's not even in a respectful, kind, complimentary way. It's in a sleezy, women are pretty much cattle sort of way.

[ThaWholigan]

I think I get it. I often forget that because I don't care what people think/say about my body that not every body, particularly women, feel the same in that regard.

 

Anyway, like I said, I think I will just try not to talk about it. Easier I suppose.

[Emilia]

I think that both men and do that. "I wonder what they look like naked". But that's not really the issue I am talking about. The conversations we hold about each other are important. The way someone chooses to talk about the other is important. I get the impression that a lot of guys want to have the freedom to say whatever they want about women's bodies and women aren't allowed to say anything in return about how men are choosing to talk about them. It's like we are expected to just accept the way men are because men are horny and like women so it's okay if men objectfy us and talk about us like a collection of body parts instead of an entire person. That just doesn't seem right to me.

 

My response was to Janesays posts

 

Some people have no manners. That applies to both men and women. Don't hang out with people that have no manners, simple. I won't generalise and say men are like that just because of a few bad apples. Not all men are disrespectful even if they don't fancy a woman.

 

By the way, a lot of women choose to objectify themselves. Everyone has control over how much of their body they expose.

[AD1980]

Women tal kabout men just as bad these days they just dont get as much flack for it

 

I think theyres a difference beweten having a naturla reaction for being turned on by a women and her figure and beign disrespectful in front of that person

 

Theyres always gonna be classles jerks with no tact or social garce in both genders theryes nothing u can do about it,your not gonna muzzle them

[Quiet Storm]

I get the impression that a lot of guys want to have the freedom to say whatever they want about women's bodies and women aren't allowed to say anything in return about how men are choosing to talk about them. It's like we are expected to just accept the way men are because men are horny and like women so it's okay if men objectfy us and talk about us like a collection of body parts instead of an entire person. That just doesn't seem right to me.

 

Men do have the right to say whatever they want about our bodies.

 

And women have the right to be upset or offended by it.

Edited September 21, 2012 by Quiet Storm

[Quiet Storm]

The way this issue has been handled for generations is:

 

Women accepted that men are horny and that men love our bodies.

 

Men accepted women are sensitive to this subject and didn't discuss this with women around, as a sign of respect.

 

The problem is that most women today are not happy with that. Even if we don't hear the comments firsthand, the internet has allowed women to have a window into the male mind. We are now privy to mens thoughts about women that, in times before, we were usually protected from.

 

Many women just don't want men to objectify them, period. It doesn't really matter if men keep their comments to themselves. The fact that men even THINK these thoughts is a problem for many women, and giving it a voice just validates their fears about men and sexuality.

[Woggle]

That isn't the issue. The issue isn't about men finding someone simply attractive. The issue is about how men choose to talk about women's bodies and how the OP in this case is choosing to talk about a woman behind her back and talk about which of her body parts he liked or didn't like. He talked about it because he wants to share what he likes about owmen. Not because it added anything to the conversation for us to know she has great breasts but is bigger than him.

 

You guys don't get it. You don't understand how often women hear comments about their bodies both good and bad. And I don't think a lot of you really care as long as you personally get to express what you like or don't like about women.

 

It's not that I don't care but it is part of attraction for both men and women. Without attraction we wouldn't want to be with each other and create babies.

[Woggle]

The way this issue has been handled for generations is:

 

Women accepted that men are horny and that men love our bodies.

 

Men accepted women are sensitive to this subject and didn't discuss this with women around, as a sign of respect.

 

The problem is that most women today are not happy with that. Even if we don't hear the comments firsthand, the internet has allowed women to have a window into the male mind. We are now privy to mens thoughts about women that, in times before, we were usually protected from.

 

Many women just don't want men to objectify them, period. It doesn't really matter if men keep their comments to themselves. The fact that men even THINK these thoughts is a problem for many women, and giving it a voice just validates their fears about men and sexuality.

 

I think women would do themselves a favor by admitting they have the same thoughts and that just because we are sexually attracted to each other it doesn't mean that we don't respect the opposite sex. Respect and attraction are not mutually exclusive.

[ThaWholigan]

The way this issue has been handled for generations is:

 

Women accepted that men are horny and that men love our bodies.

 

Men accepted women are sensitive to this subject and didn't discuss this with women around, as a sign of respect.

 

The problem is that most women today are not happy with that. Even if we don't hear the comments firsthand, the internet has allowed women to have a window into the male mind. We are now privy to mens thoughts about women that, in times before, we were usually protected from.

 

Many women just don't want men to objectify them, period. It doesn't really matter if men keep their comments to themselves. The fact that men even THINK these thoughts is a problem for many women, and giving it a voice just validates their fears about men and sexuality.

Interesting analysis. Here are a few points that are resonating in my head upon reading.

 

- The irony is that the kind of men who do not think these thoughts or at the very least do not project it, are exactly the kind who do not attract women.

 

- This shows a lack of understanding of men's sexuality in my opinion, or even at a stretch, a poor attempt to do so. If we could switch off the propensity to "objectify" women, we would probably do it - at the very least to satiate the complaints that come with it. So we established that talking about it, especially in a less than satisfactory way is troubling for women. But if thinking about it is bad, are we bad for being physically attracted to women? It's quite a contradictory notion.

 

- I don't mean to sound brash, but I think it's quite disingenuous of some women to assume that because men like women's bodies - and may like to talk about them in a complimentary manner (I can get real poetic about the subject personally ) - that we have less respect for their thoughts, their character, their achievements and everything else. In fact, a lot of men bend over backwards these days trying to enforce the fact that we do in fact place a lot of admiration for every other attribute that isn't her beauty - in turn those same men are sometimes seen as weak and supplicating.

 

- I have become privy to thoughts about women on the internet that I never knew women thought. Some of it would (and does) intimidate and worry a lot of men who don't feel up to the whole attraction game. It works both ways with regards to the internet. I would argue that men who think about women's bodies as well as maybe like to talk about them will see posts like the ones in this thread and possibly feel guilty for even thinking about women in a sexual way. This is backwards in my opinion - a man shouldn't feel guilty for being sexually attracted to women.

 

- I think that women have every right to feel aggrieved at the vulgarity with which they are talked about in terms of physical and sexual matters. That much I cannot argue with. It frustrates me when I am berated for even acknowledging a physical thing about a woman that I happened to like very much, without even going into detail or saying it in a way that can be construed as offensive in some way. That is a little over the top to me.

 

- Women, as far as I know these days, are exactly the same way when it comes to objectifying men and thinking about them sexually. Perhaps the only ones it offends are the guys who are NOT objectified by women, in a tragic twist of fate for them. I am quite happy for women to admire me physically, it doesn't really bother me either way whether they will or they won't. I think it's mainly a woman thing, because I don't know any man who doesn't want women to look at him sexually. I'm sure there are many valid reasons why, but it's something for women to consider....

Edited September 21, 2012 by ThaWholigan

[xxoo]

I think women would do themselves a favor by admitting they have the same thoughts and that just because we are sexually attracted to each other it doesn't mean that we don't respect the opposite sex. Respect and attraction are not mutually exclusive.

 

But some women really don't have those kinds of thoughts about the random men in their lives, so it is more difficult to understand.

 

A woman posted earlier about never knowing if this man she is talking to is interested in her thoughts and opinions, or if he is only listening to her to get into her pants.

 

Can men relate to that?

 

Can you see how frustrating and discouraging that would be for a professional woman, to learn that your coworkers are paying more attention to your physical body than your body of knowledge?

[Woggle]

If she is attractive most men are doing both and so are most women.