Is this normal? Because somethings telling me its not...

[packersgirl]

So... my life has been hectic lately, to say the least. I've been working 40 hour weeks, dealing with family issues, trying to adapt to new situations, avoiding stressful situations, and I just feel like I'm trapped... I can't eat much of anything, the stress has gotten to me over the past week and I'm lucky if I can coax myself to eat one meal a day.

 

Three weeks ago, I wanted everything to be perfect. I wanted to make everyone happy, I wanted to help as much as I could, I wanted my life to fall into place exactly where I thought it should...

 

Two weeks ago, I just wanted everything to work out for the best, I was done wanting to try and make everyone happy... which is the first sign something was amiss with myself because I'm a natural born people pleaser...

 

One week ago, I wanted to figure out what the heck was going on around me! Nothing was right, secrets were being kept from me, life was one big ball of confusion...

 

And now, I have reached the point of not caring. My sister was out of the country for nearly a month, she came home yesterday. Instead of going out to dinner with my family, I fell asleep and napped. Woke up, listened to her message, and went back to bed. I love my sister, she's one of my best friends. I saw her today and it was strange really. I was happy to see her, but I felt as if she could still be gone, and I wouldn't care... I no longer care about my guy life, or lack there of. Theres this one guy I'm very interested in, but this not caring attitude I have is affecting this as well... Work, yep, don't care about that much either. I get to work twice as hard all next week, and I just don't care. I'm not upset about it, or worried that I'll mess up, I just don't care. I'm starting to get short with my boss too, eek... thats never good!

 

I don't know whats going on with me. I don't know if I'm just burned out and need a vacation, or what! I'm a happy person, and I'm puzzled at why I'm like this. Is this normal at all?

[tigeress]

I don't know if this will help at all but let me try. It sounds like you are suffering from depression. That is never good. But you may be able to help yourself. Being a people pleaser as you call yourself can be an enormous burden which can only be lifted off your shoulders by you.

 

I think what is happening is that you are spending too much time for others and not enough time for you. Your life is exactly that, YOUR LIFE! Stop living for everyone else and start living for yourself. When you start doing this then you will be happier.

 

You cannot fix everyone elses problems. You cannot change every thing that is wrong just to make it better for someone else. You are setting yourself up to fail. And this is what is making you feel this way. People get tired of failing and adventually give up and then start blaming themselves for every little failure. This leads to depression, low self esteem, and even anti-social behaviors.

 

Spend more time on yourself. People will see a better you for it and may take the initiative to change their own lives by your example.

 

Make you happy, because in the end you are the only person you CAN make happy. Happiness is within us. Love yourself and others will love you all the more for it.

[packersgirl]

I've only been through a depression once, and that was about two years ago. It took me a while to snap myself out of it, but when I did, I swore to myself to never head down that road again. In general, I'm a very happy person. I'm usually wide awake once my eyes open, I'm excited to start my day, I'm bubbly and happy all day around everyone, and if I'm upset or sad, I don't let it get to me and if I do, its a rare occasion.

 

Being a people pleaser as you call yourself can be an enormous burden which can only be lifted off your shoulders by you.

 

I think what is happening is that you are spending too much time for others and not enough time for you. Your life is exactly that, YOUR LIFE! Stop living for everyone else and start living for yourself. When you start doing this then you will be happier.

 

I think its one of the best things in the world when I make someone smile, or make their day just a little bit brighter. But you're right, thinking back on the past month or so, I've been focusing on everyone else but myself... and look at the rut I've gotten myself into. Its crazy really, I can't think of one positive decision I've made for me that hasn't involved "well, would it be better for so and so if I did this instead?"... and even those decisions usually end up putting my feelings on the back burner. Its become a habit to put others first... and honestly, I don't think thats a bad habit to have. But if its going to bring me down, then maybe I should start thinking about me a bit. Thats going to be a challenge though. Its been a while since I've done something positive just for me.

 

Thanks for saying what you said. It did help a bit. Now the only challenge is going to be getting myself back on my happy track

[tigeress]

Good luck in your quest and remember you deserve equal time to everyone else. And sharing the best of you with others is not wrong. I never meant for it to sound that way. But sometimes to be your best you need to take time out for yourself and regroup.

 

 

Hope you smile everyday!!