drakewrites Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 I'm close friends with a girl that is quite younger than me. We were boyfriend and girlfriend twice. I broke up with her both times after a week or two. The age difference was too much the first time (or my worry about it was too great), and the second time I was just afraid of hurting her more in the future. She's absolutely head over heels for me, you see. Right now, she has a boyfriend, yet she has no problem sleeping with me. In fact, she's usually the one that instigates it. I'm single, and lonely, so from time to time I allow it. And I enjoy it. But I'm wondering if that is wrong of me, to sleep with someone that I know is in a relationship. They have been going out for over six months now, as well. He's not the best boyfriend to her, if that makes any difference. I do love her, in my own way. She tells me she loves me and that I'm the only guy she's ever done something like that with (the friends with benefits thing), and I believe her. But I still feel like it's wrong of me, but at the same time I like getting laid (of course). I've tried a few times to "cut her off", explain that I can't do that, because it feels wrong, etc, but we always end up becoming friends again, and then one thing leads to another. Should I cut it out? The thing is, is maybe I could see something happening in the future with us if they broke up. We've talked about it, and it seems like a strong possibility. But I'm not nuts about her. I can go without thinking about her at all. We don't have any of the same similar interests (besides music), she's just a pretty young girl that I occasionally sleep with. She really is super nice though, and full of life. She makes me feel super special, she tells me I'm flawless, even. If we started a relationship again, I know it could be super special, if I wanted it to be, because she'd do anything for me. What should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 You both sound very young. And I agree that she seems more into you than you are with her. She's offering you sex, without realising that it is fuelling her feelings for you. You have an inkling about what's really going on and you feel guilty. This makes the power balance one-sided and you are never going to have a fulfilling relationship unless the feelings are more equal. You don't see her as peer and this suggests that you are never going to be able to love her as an equal. If you are looking for a long-term adult relationship then I suggest you break it off and allow things to cool for at least a year or two so that you both get a chance to grow up a bit. Otherwise, you can stick with the hero-worship and ego-boost, but never feel quite satisfied. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jamesbob Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 Are you crazy!? Absolutely do not try to start a relationship with this girl. The only reason she is banging you is because you aren't pursuing her, as soon as that changes you will have screwed up the glorious situation you're in. Just enjoy the sex and keep doing what you're doing. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 What should I do? What do you want to do? Short term and long term? Link to post Share on other sites
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