To go NC or not to go NC?

[AnotherRound]

He likes drama, lots of it........the back and forth with AR, 7 years of it.

 

Does AR like the drama? I would think so.......since she keep choosing to engage with him off and on for that long.

 

Um... what? What back and forth for 7 years? There was no back and forth for 7 years... where are you getting that?

 

And what drama? I honestly have no idea what you are talking about here. He and I have never had any drama. His other OW brought drama, but I wasn't involved in that at all, only heard about it from others.

 

This is an odd comment... I feel like you're responding to something else?

[AnotherRound]

I agree with this. AR, tell him to contact you when he has the dissolution papers in hand. Don't get your hopes up until then.

 

Fair enough. Just not sure that's how I want to handle it. I will figure it out, I always do, lol. Right now, I'm thinking that I will help him with the project he asked for my input and help on. If that is unhealthy, I guess I will find out soon enough.

 

I don't have my "hopes up", as I honestly don't care how this all works out. I just want to be prepared, if he shows up on my doorstep, to make a decision. That's all. He may never show up on my doorstep, and if he doesn't, I'm perfectly okay with that.

 

I know that some don't believe that, but it is the truth. If he and I are never together again, I am, and will be, fine with that. It would probably be easier that way, honestly. And I plan on continuing to date, and who knows what will happen with that. I can't see the future, and I don't need to. I just want to be as prepared as I possibly can for that moment if it happens of him showing up with his heart in his hand. That's all.

 

Thanks!

[AnotherRound]

I'm just pointing out that HIS CHOICES and actions show his character. I don't see that as judgment - but rather as EVIDENCE of WHO HE IS based on his actions and inaction - you should see it as who he is as well.

 

We are defined by our ACTIONS and INACTIONS - that represents who we are as a person- an individual. He plays a good "victim" role. He's only of victim is himself for NOT changing it. HE could have gotten divorced... Yet he complained and blamed her then chose to cheat.

 

That's not a man I would find "attractive".

 

Lol... it's probably a good thing that you wouldn't be attracted to him. Like my Mom always said, to each his own. It doesn't matter to me if anyone else finds him attractive.

 

And I'm not sure that I "should" see it the way you see it. We both have the right to see the world and understand it in our own ways, and I'm fine that your way is different from mine.

 

And, as always, I'm perfectly ready to accept any consequences that I bring on myself. I can handle it.

 

Thanks!

[AnotherRound]

I'm not missing anything, AR. I have read all your posts. He found an OW. Just because she was unstable does not excuse his actions in doing so. How can you possibly be okay with this?

 

You are determined to think that your situation is different. It isn't. But, I wish you the best.

 

I was okay with it bc I broke up with him months before that. He spent months trying to work it out with me, then said that he was giving up and was going to move on as I was not wanting to be with him. I was fine with that. People move on after a relationship ends, that's the way it is. He was honest with me about it, and I didn't want to be in the A anymore. So, he made his choice.

 

I'm determined to think my situation is different? I'm determined to see it realistically - and you keep trying to say things that aren't true about it. Like this. He didn't have an OW while we were together... that is a very important detail that you are missing/ignoring or whatever.

 

Anyway, again, no big deal. Thanks for the responses

[AnotherRound]

LadyGrey, 7 years is waaaayyyy too long for her to have put up with this man. This is why she needs to tell him to not contact her to the divorce is legally finalized. Then she needs to tell him to bring over the dissolution papers so that she can inspect them.

 

AR, trust, but verify.

 

I will know when the divorce is finalized, as they publish them in the local paper under Dissolutions Filed/Granted. So, I won't need to inspect the papers, lol, but thanks for the concern. It will be public knowledge for everyone in town when it is finalized.

 

Again, I'm not sure what I want to do yet. I'm just trying to be prepared, and feel like I am in a pretty good position to make a good decision if I need to. Some of the things that people are bringing up here are just not relevant to our situation. But I do appreciate everyone taking the time to read and post.