soar101 Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 I have been talking to a guy from LA online for months nonstop- we have lots of mutual "real life" friends so we just sort of fell in conversation very easy and have grown very attached to each other as we talk pretty much on/off all day every day. Well, tomorrow I am flying to Los Angeles to meet him face to face for the first time. Staying there 4 days. Any advice on how to calm my nerves? And on things we can do together? Etc? Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 I would suggest spending one day going to the beach in Santa Monica, renting a bicycle there and riding to the towns along the beach. At night, you could go to the Promenade, just a couple of blocks from the Santa Monica Beach, which is an interesting street with lots of great shopping, restaurants, night life, and street musicians and performers that are very entertaining. There's Disneyland, of course, and Knotts Berry Farm if you like amusement parks. You could go on a dinner cruise along the coast. You could drive down to San Pedro, which has some unique shops and dining. A visit to Pasadena would be nice. They have the Huntington Library and Botanical Gardens. You could drive up the coast along Pacific Coast Highway to Santa Barbara for the day. The drive is really beautiful, and Santa Barbara is a very unique town that's nice to visit. The nightlife is, of course, the best in the world, and there are some really unique places to go for that. If you're more adventurous, you could rent a surfboard and go surfing, you could go mountain climbing or hiking (something my kids like to do here a lot). You could visit the Planetarium--supposedly the best or one of the best in the world. Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Chinatown and Little Tokyo. See it as a holiday rather than I'm here to Meet My So and We Have To Totally Get On and Everything Has To Be Perfect, otherwise it means that We Shouldn't Be Together and all that time spent online was a Waste of Time. (Capitalisation for emphasis.) It might take a while to warm up, so go to Starbucks to grab a coffee and chat for a little while. Then grab some dinner. Don't try to force anything. And don't rush into sex unless you're both really feeling it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author soar101 Posted September 22, 2012 Author Share Posted September 22, 2012 Thanks for the ideas. Just so totally nervous about this. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Santa Monica is a good idea (doesn't cost a lot) versus Disneyland or Knott's Berry Farm. I'd heartily suggest the Getty; it is free and there is not only amazing art, but stunning gardens and grounds to just wander. A great place to get to know someone because you are reliant on your conversation but in a beautiful setting. Link to post Share on other sites
Author soar101 Posted September 22, 2012 Author Share Posted September 22, 2012 Santa Monica sounds like a fun idea. SO nervous about him picking me up from the airport and the awkwardness of first face to face with someone I've gotten to know better than most people I know all via online. I am staying there for 4 days with him. Got a hotel though. Link to post Share on other sites
pinton Posted September 23, 2012 Share Posted September 23, 2012 want to wish you the very best of luck, lovely story and i hope it turns out to be a nice 4 days together. i recall many years ago (25 or so) i met a filipino girl via a dating service (there was no online crap back then) and we wrote several times a week for 1 year, then i decided to fly in to meet her, and it was fine for a few days, and after that it dawned on me that this was not going to work for me, and i left her there totally broken hearted and i returned home vowing never to have any more long distance romances. not saying they all end up badly, mine was probably more a case of cultural differences more than anything, but still, it just made me very wary in the future. cheers, and good luck with it. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted September 23, 2012 Share Posted September 23, 2012 SO nervous about him picking me up from the airport and the awkwardness of first face to face For me this scenario applied to our second meeting and it felt like almost the first one. The first one was him coming to me by taxi. If the second time is way spaced out, the feelings are not going to be very different. I knew he was into me and liked me the first time, but over the months I had put on like 6 lbs and who knows if he would have liked me the same. Also, I was going to spend more time with him, even early in the morning (what's worse than that? as far as looks are concerned). But the whole thing grew all the same, in spite of my fears. Now, I'm about to meet him again & I feel the same way once more. For me, this is linked to the LD and not meeting frequently. So the thought's always there. I wish you have a great time with him. He's in LA right now, I wish I could fly there now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author soar101 Posted September 23, 2012 Author Share Posted September 23, 2012 Thanks everyone. Flight leaves in a few hours. I will keep you posted. Link to post Share on other sites
mysteryscape Posted September 23, 2012 Share Posted September 23, 2012 I hope everything works out great. May I make a suggestion. You are each undoubtedly in person going to be somewhat different from the image/projection that the other has built up in his or her mind. So don't be too surprised by this, and focus on being open to the person who is really present now. I will be really interested to hear how it goes. Again, the best to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author soar101 Posted September 24, 2012 Author Share Posted September 24, 2012 Had a great first meeting. At the airport once I saw him all worries left. It was like we have seen each other a million times before. He is staying at the hotel (and no, we haven't "hooked up" yet). I was so tired from the 8 hours of flying we ordered room service, got champagne, and watched movies and talked. Today we are driving to Malibu to have dinner, etc. So far so good. A little anxious still yes, but so happy to finally be here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mysteryscape Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 I hope things continue to go well. It seems to me that LD could be a wonderful way to get to know someone, if they turn out to be good in person; or a horrible letdown if not. Will be interested to hear more about how things go! Link to post Share on other sites
Author soar101 Posted September 24, 2012 Author Share Posted September 24, 2012 thanks, I will keep everyone posted. he is still asleep so I am able to get online for a bit. still feels surreal I am here with him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mysteryscape Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 soar101 has been too busy to post again today! I hope all is going well. Link to post Share on other sites
meeji Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 i'm going to meet mine in 26 days, but i'm going overseas. I'm not nervous now but when the days get to single digits I will be sooo nervous. Good luck, dear. I'm excited for you!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author soar101 Posted September 25, 2012 Author Share Posted September 25, 2012 Having a total blast. We spent all day in Malibu yesterday. Went to a private beach. Spending every minute together and getting more comfortable. He hasn't tried to kiss me yet though. Is that weird? He has been super attentive, we stayed up all night last night talking (just like we normally do online only this time in person). I am head over heels for him but way too shy to make a first move and I think he may be too. I will keep everyone updated. Thanks so much for the time and for caring. Meeji, hope everything goes beautiful for you!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 He hasn't tried to kiss me yet though. Is that weird? I guess so. we stayed up all night last night talking (just like we normally do online only this time in person). You didn't really mean *ALL* night, did you? What time to what time did you mean? I am head over heels for him but way too shy to make a first move and I think he may be too. Probable. Call me oldfashioned, but I don't think you should make the first move. On the other hand, I understand you don't want to miss your chance with him. Don't talk ALL the time (hint). Link to post Share on other sites
mysteryscape Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 He is probably shy, and getting used to the whole thing, and wondering how you really feel. Be glad he's not a player! I wouldn't worry a bit, just relax and enjoy it and let things happen in their own time. you've waited this long, a little longer won't hurt. you'll be glad for the time, I think. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 Remember that he has to fly to you next time. Link to post Share on other sites
meeji Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 I don't see anything wrong with the girl making the first move. If it feels right, do ir. It will be a weight lifted off of his shoulder. He probably just doesn't want to freak you out if things are going so well. Drop some hints so he knows its okay. and thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
esstea Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 Happy to hear everything is going well!!! Just out of curiosity, how did you two meet? Since you said real life mutual friends, I want to say Facebook...? Or.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author soar101 Posted September 30, 2012 Author Share Posted September 30, 2012 Hi everyone just wanted to update everyone now that I am back home. We had a wonderful 5 days together. Did so much- spent a day in Malibu, spent a day in the Ojai Valley, spent a day in Hollywood.......did loads of getting to know each other "in person" which IS a lot different than online. Yet at the same time, the same. We just mesh so well together. At the airport on the way home he texted me before my flight took off and said "I miss you already." and at breakfast before the airport he said to me, "Can you come back on Monday?" :) (he didn't seriously mean THAT soon but it was so cute). Now I am home and we are back to talking online/text/phone all day and night. Someone here asked how I met him through mutual friends- if I meant online or in person. Well see, he is in a band. I have loads of real life friends in bands. They knew him in person. I just knew of him online and through them. So me and him started "online". OHHHH and when I got home there was a card waiting for me in the mail that he sent right before my trip that said "By the time you get this you will be home from LA and I wanted to thank you in advance for coming and spending my birthday with me." and there was a mixed cd to me in the envelope. So now I am just letting it settle in that we know each other super well and are both very attached to each other and this meeting was much needed to bond even more. And taking it one day at a time now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author soar101 Posted September 30, 2012 Author Share Posted September 30, 2012 Forgot to add I spent the whole flight home crying and all of the next day. Today is day 3 of not being there and I am not full of tears now, but still so sad and all sorts of melancholy feeling. But being in constant communication with him has helped loads. Link to post Share on other sites
esstea Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 Haha yes that was me who asked how you two met! Awww I'm super glad to hear you had a great time! And that postcard + mixtape thing is the cutest thing. He sounds like a keeper. And oh my god... I remember being at the airport and saying bye to my boyfriend once (spent the ENTIRE summer in his city so we were together for a while before going long distance again) and I was walking through security at the airport crying, eyes puffy, sniffling like a complete mess. The TSA security didn't even bother to ask me any one of those random security questions because I think they felt bad. Funny experience to say the least haha. Don't worry. The first couple of weeks are hard and you will be sad for a bit but once you settle in with your life at home again you'll feel back to normal. It's almost like a post-vacation depression thing haha, happens to all of us. Link to post Share on other sites
meeji Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 what about the kiss?......we want the skinny! Link to post Share on other sites
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