hopelesslyunsure Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 If you have a crush on someone, would you tell him / her ? I have known this guy for a while, and lately I have developed quite strong feelings for him, even though I am in a relationship. I think about him quite a bit, and sometimes I do get upset about it . Please dont judge me for this as this was not something I planned or do intentionally. I know I shouldnt develop feelings for another guy while I am in a relationship. We have been friends for a long time. We dont see each other often and communicate mainly through emails. We have flirted on and off, he has kissed me on the neck a couple of times . I have thought about this for a while and decided the best thing I can do is stop contact / communication with him. On the other hand, I wanted to tell him my feelings, so I can get closure and move on. By the way he now has a girlfriend. So I need advice on : 1) should I tell him my feelings and then move on ? Or should I just NOT tell him and move on ? 2) If I should tell him my feelings, I just want to email him and tell him, not face to face. I know that sounds like a coward but I cannot tell him face to face - too embarassed and I dont want to cry in front of him. So if I email him, what should I say in the email without coming across as some psycho woman ? Whatever advice is appreciated. I need closure on this. Link to post Share on other sites
Hawaii50 Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Anything other than face-to-face is childish, personally. it's 2012, and although 12 point is comforting, I sincerely implore you to reconsider other means of telling your crush, you have a crush. simple as that. a crush. nothing to cry about. Link to post Share on other sites
funnyface Posted September 23, 2012 Share Posted September 23, 2012 If you're in a relationship, then I would suggest dealing with THAT guy first. If you're seriously crushing over someone else, thats not a good sign... Also, he has a girlfriend? Has he mentioned that he is not happy/serious with her? I too and going through the agony of debating whether to make a move on my crush but.. I would be a little more cautious if he is invested in someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
SandRat Posted September 23, 2012 Share Posted September 23, 2012 In a heart beat! You never know until you pursue it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hopelesslyunsure Posted September 23, 2012 Author Share Posted September 23, 2012 If you're in a relationship, then I would suggest dealing with THAT guy first. If you're seriously crushing over someone else, thats not a good sign... Also, he has a girlfriend? Has he mentioned that he is not happy/serious with her? I too and going through the agony of debating whether to make a move on my crush but.. I would be a little more cautious if he is invested in someone else. I wanted closure and thought maybe letting him know would give me that closure and I can move on and get on with my life. We have never spoken about our feelings ( he knows I am in a relationship, yet he went ahead and kissed me on my neck a couple of times), though I know that he likes me, and he as flirted with me . Link to post Share on other sites
kae Posted September 23, 2012 Share Posted September 23, 2012 i think that you shouldnt act on panic. He just got a girlfriend and youve always had a boyfriend... you didnt let your boyfriend go and your crush never strongly pursued you.. i do think he had feeling for you but the opportunity passed. If you want you can still be his friend - no kissing period- break up with you dude because your using him as a safety ..clearly! and wait it out but personally.. i think he wont trust you cuz u let him kiss you while you were dating an other.. id forget it 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NoMagicBullet Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 What kae said. I'll add that disclosing your feelings at this time is not a good idea. Neither of you are truly available, and knowing how the other feels (or doesn't) won't help at this point. You both need to keep your distance from each other and knock off the flirting as long as you're attached. If in the future you are both single, then that is the time to address the feelings, if they are still there. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 I have known this guy for a while, and lately I have developed quite strong feelings for him, even though I am in a relationship It is sooo pointless and selfish to tell someone you have a crush on them when you're in a relationship. What if he tells you "hey I got one on you too!" Then what? DO you dump your bf and go for it with the crush guy? Do you flirt with crush guy? Do you fool around with crush guy? Have a fling, emotional affair/physical affair with crush guy? Put yourself in your boyfriends shoes. Would you like it if you found out he told some girl "hey I have a crush on you..." How would it make you feel? Hurt, jealous? Worried that he would be inappropriate with her? Tell this guy how you feel IF and when your relationship ends with your bf. Telling now isn't good. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 I wanted closure and thought maybe letting him know would give me that closure and I can move on and get on with my life. We have never spoken about our feelings ( he knows I am in a relationship, yet he went ahead and kissed me on my neck a couple of times), though I know that he likes me, and he as flirted with me . Why are you looking for closure? It's not like you two shared deep and intimate moments. You both crossed the lines (kissing and flirting) while each of you are in a relationship. He owes you nothing and you owe him nothing. You allowed him to kiss and flirt with you. You say he 'went ahead' .. Why didn't you stop him? Link to post Share on other sites
martinhengri Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 Sure, he makes you smile, but are you struggling to make him happy too? Do you have to waltz around half naked or say something super funny just to show him you’re worth the time of day? If you feel like you have to jump through hoops to get his attention, he’s not paying you any. Forget him! Link to post Share on other sites
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