CopingGal Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 (edited) You know what, I'm all for couples therapy. But my last relationship taught me that some relationships should not be saved. I'm for couples therapy if you need to REconnect with someone. If you two have lost your way. I am NOT for couples therapy if someone has a personality defect and is causing you all kinds of pain. If they are a liar, they will lie in therapy. I learned the hard way, not all relationships should be saved. If the person's personality if a HUGE problem, then just get out. Changing a personality takes years and years and it many cases may not be possible. If this person has very strong traits of BPD or NPD, then just get out. Get out now. I'm telling you, personality disorders are extremely hard to deal with, especially the ones in which constant lying and manipulation are part of the disease. There is a cure for BPD, but it takes a long, long time and it is intensive, individual therapy. Everyone probably has aspects of some personality disorder, but when you are dealing with very strong traits of Borderline PD, Narcissistic PD, or Antisocial PD, it's time to go. Maybe, maybe, some day down the rode with the right therapy you can get back with someone who has borderline traits. As for the other two, end it for good. Edited October 2, 2012 by CopingGal 2 Link to post Share on other sites
msfreebyme Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 Ohhh, I'm learning more about your ex now. From your other postings, I assumed he had antisocial personality disorder (sociopathy). That was my first thought but I am not sure because he has never really had any problems with the law. But other than that alot of those symptoms are close to him too. BPD seems to also fit him in my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 (edited) That was my first thought but I am not sure because he has never really had any problems with the law. But other than that alot of those symptoms are close to him too. BPD seems to also fit him in my opinion. Most sociopaths don't have problems with the law...most, not all. Most sociopaths blow through their partners' lives- lying to them, disrespecting them, using them, doing bad, bad things behind their backs, and manipulating them. They do egregious things that most normal people would be ashamed to do, or at least feel remorse. They feel none. They blame others for their bad behavior and try to justify what they did with no guilt. Sociopaths who apologize for things probably do so because they have an agenda and they know apologize will help them to accomplish their agenda. They are sneaky and crafty. They lie about big things, little things, stupid things, important things, non-important things, etc. Edited October 5, 2012 by CopingGal 2 Link to post Share on other sites
msfreebyme Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 Most sociopaths don't have problems with the law...most, not all. Most sociopaths blow through their partners' lives- lying to them, disrespecting them, using them, doing bad, bad things behind their backs, and manipulating them. They do egregious things that most normal people would be ashamed to do, or at least feel remorse. They feel none. They blame others for their bad behavior and try to justify what they did with no guilt. Sociopaths who apologize for things probably do so because they have an agenda and they know apologize will help them to accomplish their agenda. They are sneaky and crafty. They lie about big things, little things, stupid things, important things, non-important things, etc. Well now that you do mention it...and after some research it does seem like he does swing towards a sociopath...he has left me wondering what kinds of crap he truly did behind my back. There was no cheating he did. Although he was emotionally cheating a lot. That makes me shiver thinking about that and what he truly did. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 Don't fall into the trap of diagnosing someone's dysfunction by researching the internet. Anyone can jump to conclusions and hazard a guess. It might be a very good guess, and close to the mark - but that's all it is. A guess. Just accept the face-value situation. The guy's a jerk and you're best out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
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