DavidNarn Posted September 23, 2012 Share Posted September 23, 2012 My girlfriend went to college about an hour away a week ago. i already have visited her for 3 days. but for some reason i keep thinking she gets turned on by the thought of sex with other guys. i just dont know!! i get the vibes, we drank at her college with her friends and she is a total nutcase drunk.. and she was checking out like every guy drunk. she literally stared at one guys ass for like 10 seconds and then i interupted. her eyes were just wondering bad and it made me feel ****ty. i keep thinking of her past also from before we were dating.. she gave some guy a blowjob the next day after she got fingered by a totally different guy. besides those situations she has only had sex with me and her ex. she wasnt in a relationship at the time that happend, but still come on... idk i feel like she is a really good person and has a really good heart but i also feel like she is an animal underneath it all.. i can just feel it. she swore and promised she would never ever cheat. but my mind is wandering and im freaking out now that she is in college.. we have been dating 11 months and i know 100% she loves me. but i still feel like she wants something dirty and wrong. i JUST GET THE VIBES BADDD.. am i freaking out over nothing or what?? i havent said anything to her i dont want to push her away.. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabellad25 Posted September 23, 2012 Share Posted September 23, 2012 Ah, I'd stop stressing out. If someone wants to cheat they will do it & nothing u can do or say will change that. I generally find that instincts can tell a lot & should always be listened too, that's dangerous territory though as u have no proof. If she was checking other guys whilst you were there thats pretty harsh. Why dont u just write her a mail explaining how u feel? That way. Can word it correctly so u don sound OTT Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted September 23, 2012 Share Posted September 23, 2012 The bottom line is pretty much either get over it or break up with her. It's really a stretch to presume those things you listed here are things that mean she's cheating or wants to cheat. Her previous sexual activities have nothing to do with your current relationship, and they're pretty tame, considering. They're also none of your business. And "she literally stared at one guys ass for like 10 seconds." Really? Who cares? How many girl's asses have you checked out since? Are you cheating on her when you do it? No, that's ridiculous. Everyone looks. If you can't get over this, and you're just completely certain that she's going to cheat on you, better to end it now than to drive both of you crazy with this stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DavidNarn Posted September 25, 2012 Author Share Posted September 25, 2012 sooo i visited her again. and she told me that she would never cheat on me considering her dad committed suicide from cheating, and she also said since she has been cheated on she would never want me to have the feeling of it.. that should be enough right? its just hard. cause her friend told me that she said she was really worried about all the hot guys in college and she wouldnt be able to handle it. she has dreamed of cheating on me a lot. ( she is really honest. for the most part ) and we havent had sex in like 2 months now.. i know i should just trust her but idk this site always helps somehow with dealing with this stress... she went to living 2 min away from me to and hour away at dorms. i AM a jealous person bad and very insecure about us but i always have bad gut feelings. i dont show her cause i want her to think im confident and am better than any guy and i want her to feel lucky. im just so worried cause she had been under sooo many house rules. and now she is set free. partying, hanging with new people blah blah.. and im living the same life before she left. we are talking about getting married and also me transferring up there for work.. i just dont know why i always feel soooooooo bad when i dont know where she is or im not with her. shes such a flirt! Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 David, you aren't freaking out over nothing. Your gf obviously will have a hard time resisting if she is ever out partying without you. She may not have cheated....yet. But With your description, and being a party girl, its just a matter of time. You are both young. Don't tie yourself down to someone this young, especially when you don't think you can trust her, and especially if she is a party girl. Link to post Share on other sites
jamesbob Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 she's probably already cheated on you. Her saying she won't is no assurance of anything. In fact you asking her about it makes her more likely to do so. Just bang her when you can and start looking for another girl on the side so when you do find out for sure she cheated or your gut tells you what happened you'll have no hesitation with kicking her ass to the curb. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HesaidShesaid Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 The problem here is not if she has cheated on you or not, the problem you face is that she wants to sleep with other guys. She wants to open up to her sexual side and college is an experimental stage of life. She may not cheat on you but she wont be 100% satisfied in the relationship because she'll most likely want to know what its like to be with other guys. She may be too nice of a girl to express this to you and break up with you. Ive been in a relationship like this in my late teens (girl went to college) and it didnt end well as she cheated on me and slept with numerous guys after. But I total accept this now. You need to experiment when your young. If your the jealous type then this relationship is going to be toxic for you unless she verbally and physically decides to focus her sexual urges to you and you alone. And no Im not saying that she cant look at a guy but 10secs in front of you as a bit much. Dont think she'd like it if roles were reversed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DavidNarn Posted September 26, 2012 Author Share Posted September 26, 2012 so if she even cheats how do i know for sure. how will i ever know?? go through her phone/facebook when she isnt around to see what conversations she has had with her friends? thats wrong cause what if i AM just freaking out and all that? i cant invade her privacy. im not gonna end it though cause im moving up there soon and i almost have a job up there and what not. she is excited. i am excited. like i said we are talking about getting married. i just dont know how i will ever know. or if she will even tell me... Link to post Share on other sites
HesaidShesaid Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 You wont know if she doesn't want to tell you and this is where your trust for this girl comes in. People are definitely opinionated when it comes to checking partners emails...phones...etc but if you really feel it is justified then go for it. You mentioned that she would never cheat on her partner as cheating caused so much anguish for her father. I would have to believe her on this one but people are weak. Try not to freak out so much and for the time being trust her but if you truly believe that she may be dishonest then have a look at emails, phone etc. If shes loyal then there should be nothing in there, simple as. Access the situation when you move but until then try and relax and trust her. Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 I'm not sure how some people here are so certain that your girlfriend will cheat, has cheated, or wants to cheat. so if she even cheats how do i know for sure. how will i ever know?? In reality, this is the case with every relationship, ever. Nobody can be absolutely, completely, 100% certain that their partner will never cheat. I know people sometimes think, "No, I am positive that s/he would never cheat on me." but that's just false. There's always the possibility, no matter who you are or how stable your relationship is. Alright? It's fact. So in order to make it work, you just have to trust that she's not going to do that to you. And if it does happen, trust her to tell you that it did. That's it. Trust. If you cannot do that, whether it's due to your paranoia or her being inclined to cheat, then why even bother with this relationship? It's going to be miserable for both of you. You're freaking out, so either remove the source of your freakouts, or start trying really hard to be less of a nutcase. Link to post Share on other sites
jamesbob Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 so if she even cheats how do i know for sure. how will i ever know?? go through her phone/facebook when she isnt around to see what conversations she has had with her friends? thats wrong cause what if i AM just freaking out and all that? i cant invade her privacy. im not gonna end it though cause im moving up there soon and i almost have a job up there and what not. she is excited. i am excited. like i said we are talking about getting married. i just dont know how i will ever know. or if she will even tell me... Just trust your gut with this man. There are signals your subconscious will pick up on. For example it already sounds like this is the case from your first post: but for some reason i keep thinking she gets turned on by the thought of sex with other guys. i just dont know!! i get the vibes You need to start looking for another girl now, so that when the inevitable does happen, or you finally believe your gut feeling, you won't have an issue saying bye to your current girl. I wouldn't try convincing your mind the opposite of what your gut is telling you, we have millions of years of experience in our genes that are honed to pick up this kind of stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DavidNarn Posted September 29, 2012 Author Share Posted September 29, 2012 Ok. I looked through her phone. I found nothing bad honestly. The worse thing was that she drank with a guy friend and she was like well your sleeping on the floor fyi. She told other guys she was so excited for me to turn 21 soon. There wasn't an ounce of flirting. None.... my gut was wrong I think. Again... I'm such an ass. I even read her journal and every page is about me of how happy she is... omggggggggg what did I do Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 My girlfriend went to college about an hour away a week ago. i already have visited her for 3 days. but for some reason i keep thinking she gets turned on by the thought of sex with other guys. i just dont know!! i get the vibes, we drank at her college with her friends and she is a total nutcase drunk.. and she was checking out like every guy drunk. she literally stared at one guys ass for like 10 seconds and then i interupted. her eyes were just wondering bad and it made me feel ****ty. i keep thinking of her past also from before we were dating.. she gave some guy a blowjob the next day after she got fingered by a totally different guy. besides those situations she has only had sex with me and her ex. she wasnt in a relationship at the time that happend, but still come on... idk i feel like she is a really good person and has a really good heart but i also feel like she is an animal underneath it all.. i can just feel it. she swore and promised she would never ever cheat. but my mind is wandering and im freaking out now that she is in college.. we have been dating 11 months and i know 100% she loves me. but i still feel like she wants something dirty and wrong. i JUST GET THE VIBES BADDD.. am i freaking out over nothing or what?? i havent said anything to her i dont want to push her away.. alcohol is destructive there is nothing good about being drunk, it makes you behave in no way true to who you are.......its not the real person you can teven think or even walk in a straight line.....its destructive to relationships and destructive to your general well being.......you behave on impulse with no reasoning power or logical thought.......your iq plummets...lol......love makes my iq plummet but at least i have impulse control.......look.....she shouldnt drink some people are not meant to ....i would say all people....and kamikaze myself......so here it kamikaze deb no one should drink......if she has a problem with alcohol she should quit.......if she is vulnerable when drinking due to lack of impulse control which most women when drunk are.......all people are thats why they drink drive when they shouldn't and wouldn't ever want to put some one elses life at risk.......just saying people who would be normally responsible become irresponsible........you are calling her an animal underneath???????? everybody has impulses they control everyday.....road rage they don't yell out the window, impatient feelings they have waiting in line not to snap at the person in front of them..... all impulses......alcohol is the animal.......that releases....impulses....everyone has them even you....... i think you should seriously consider letting her go......or approaching the topic of her drinking.....without offending her, control your impulse to call her an animal that is about to be unleashed.....and control the impulse you had to write that...as i have my own impulsiveness to let you have it under control...now if i was drinking you'd be tied to a ceiling fan on cycle ten till you apologised....lol....that made me smile impulsively...........have a great day..good luck..god loves you...deb Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 Ok. I looked through her phone. I found nothing bad honestly. The worse thing was that she drank with a guy friend and she was like well your sleeping on the floor fyi. She told other guys she was so excited for me to turn 21 soon. There wasn't an ounce of flirting. None.... my gut was wrong I think. Again... I'm such an ass. I even read her journal and every page is about me of how happy she is... omggggggggg what did I do So you invaded her privacy and you didn't find the bad stuff you were looking for. Are you going to quit with the "i JUST GET THE VIBES BADDD" stuff now? Are you going to believe her when she says "she would never cheat on me considering her dad committed suicide from cheating, and she also said since she has been cheated on she would never want me to have the feeling of it." Are you done questioning her now? Link to post Share on other sites
HesaidShesaid Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 Thats great to hear mate!! Dont bet yourself up for checking her stuff, you had your suspicion and at the end of the day you found out that she really likes you and no harm was done. Link to post Share on other sites
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