Been in love for three years, seen him twice, know everything about him..

[madhattress]

So we had a "friend" in common.. his ex wanted me to check up on him.. he lives in a diffrent state so I thought "OH what the heck?". Added him on FB and messaged him thinking 'its not like you're ever going to talk to him again'... and THAT thought was the biggest irony of my life.

 

I messaged him saying "Hi" and got a positive response. Even tho we're were complete strangers and he knew my motive and I knew the reason for his warmth, we chatted for hours... within the next few weeks it became a habbit.. until he asked for my number and we talked into the night for hours and hours on end.. slowly things became 'real' i guess and we moved on from the point where i was someone's pawn to becoming his friend.. (my relationship with his ex went down the drain, she was a B anyways)

 

We romanced over the phone (IKNOW, we hadnt seen each other in person) but i used to go home to talk to him at night.. It was a hard time for me and my family and I found shelter in him..

 

around New Years he hooked up with a girl and they got into a realtionship and he stopped talking to me. We resumed talking again once they were over. For the past three years its been the same pattern- we dont talk when he is in a relationship.. it used to bother me at first but it is an opportunity cost i guess...

 

and we flirted somemore and started sexting eventually.. (I pushed for the sexting-no pics! ;]) and we did that almost every night for hours and hours .. i mean he really put alot of time into me.. and so did i.. I thought we were friends messing around.. I mean common I hadnt even MET the guy yet..

 

one night i got drunk and barely hit 2nd base with this random guy at a party and i couldnt go any further because i was thinking about my phone friend.. I left and called him and told him what happened and said I couldnt do it because I was thinking about him the whole time.. He got mad at me for the first time in 5 months and stopped replying to me for a week.. at the end of the week we talked it out and he said he was hurt when i told him that.. also that week i was taken out of my home and put in a shelter because of abuse at home.. that happed partly because i was talking to him..

 

ANYWAYS------

 

its been three years since all that hooplah and i have realized that i love him.. i saw him about 6 months ago when he came down here with his team to play soccer.. it was natural and so easy except he was acting distant to which he said later that he didnt want to start soemthing and then leave like a d0uch3...

 

he has told me on a couple of occasions that he has always had feeling for me and that his other realtionships dont work out because he compares them to me..and then he acts like we're nothing more than friends the next day...

 

well i am in love with him.. (also want to bleep his brains out) and i dont know if i should tell him this or just let it go because im worried about what the intimacy would do to us.. i hate calling it a friendship and i hate being the one he talks to about his realtionship problems.. i do it anyway because its a reason to talkt o him..

 

i know it was too much to read.. and there is ALOT more.. but thanks.. i just need your opinion..

[january2011]

Next time you speak to him:

 

"Hey [friend's name], I have feelings for you and you have feelings for me. I know the distance might be a bit of an issue but I'd like us to date, what do you think?"

 

Then let him speak and don't interrupt.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Are you still a minor living at home?