GettingYeon Posted September 23, 2012 Share Posted September 23, 2012 (edited) NO idea where to start this thread...so I met this girl few months ago at a casino I frequent, and since my divorce, I started to visit the casino very often to play poker games. At first, we didn't even say as much as hello to each other until she started dealing poker - she deals other games usually - almost a month ago, part time. At that time I remember giving her a genuine compliment on how good a dealer she was - i am a dealer myself - and I how I appreciated as a player to have someone like her to run the game. She bought me drinks that night, how nice of her I thought, and this went on for few more nights whenever she was done dealing and of course, I treated that as her being overly nice to me and turned them down a couple of times afterwards, didn't think much of it. I don't know, I am so densed about these kinda things, but if a girl asks you to her friend's birthday party does that mean that she likes you or just being nice because I am a good customer? One night I left the card room way earlier than usual and she sends me a text on her break - she texted from her phone, they have my number - saying "u left so soon, hope everything is ok" to which I replied I was fine. Does this mean anything? I mean I start have feeling for her and I don't know if I should be. Next night, she texted me saying if I wanted to drink and we were talking for an hour and finally found out that she has bf that she isn't sure of. I am so confused at this point, what does she want from me? Just somebody to talk to? She went all this trouble just to have someone to talk to? I am trying find reasons NOT to get involved with her before too much of my heart is invested: 1)she is 15 years younger, 2) has bf at the moment although she isn't sure about him. Besides, I am not even sure she is into me anyway. Please help me sort this out! Oh and I went out with a good friend from the casino, she is also a poker dealer, just friendly dinner and she knows we are just friends. I don't know if I blew it with her, so what should I do, wait and see what develops? Edited September 23, 2012 by GettingYeon Link to post Share on other sites
loveunlimited Posted September 23, 2012 Share Posted September 23, 2012 ....and finally found out that she has bf that she isn't sure of. I am so confused at this point, what does she want from me? an excuse to leave her bf, of course. Oh and I went out with a good friend from the casino, she is also a poker dealer, just friendly dinner and she knows we are just friends. I don't know if I blew it with her, so what should I do, wait and see what develops? theres a lot to be said for simply asking her if she's thinking of going out with you. there's obviously an attraction there, but the mention of her bf is a hint that one, things are complicated and two she wants to have a reason or excuse to dump him, have something lined up before she moves on. maybe she's looking to cheat on him, encourage her, if she tells you she wants to take it farther with you, to dump him first because while you may be interested in where this could go you wont be happy to be partof the complications. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GettingYeon Posted September 23, 2012 Author Share Posted September 23, 2012 theres a lot to be said for simply asking her if she's thinking of going out with you. there's obviously an attraction there. Can you tell me how you see attraction from her? I've always been with girls that showed interest first and I can't stop thinking about her. I don't know if it's a good idea to text her just say hi, what do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 Tell her to call you if she truly is interested once she is single. What she is doing is a bit of a game since she has a boyfriend. Don't get me wrong, she IS interested and has given you hints but hasn't been honest about it - It's not cool to put vibes out there when one has a bf or a gf. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 . I am so confused at this point, what does she want from me? Hate to say it, even if she is kind of interested in you..Right now you're her ego feed. The guy she *could* be with if she was single, so for now, she's (selfishly, not malciously) playing that cat/mouse game with you. I'm sure if you came on strong, started texting her, asking her out, woo'ing her, she'd back off and tell you she can't get involved right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GettingYeon Posted September 24, 2012 Author Share Posted September 24, 2012 Don't get me wrong, she IS interested and has given you hints but hasn't been honest about it - It's not cool to put vibes out there when one has a bf or a gf. I think I might have lost her since last night because I could feel that vibe from her, not smiling towards me at all, this really sucks I am starting to have feelings for her can't stop thinking about her! Link to post Share on other sites
Author GettingYeon Posted September 24, 2012 Author Share Posted September 24, 2012 She is talking to me again same way that she used to, dang it, I am on a roller coaster! Link to post Share on other sites
NoMagicBullet Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 Can you tell me how you see attraction from her? I've always been with girls that showed interest first and I can't stop thinking about her. I don't know if it's a good idea to text her just say hi, what do you think? Well, there are plenty of women who will not be blatent about their interest at first. Women get just as insecure as men when it comes to attraction, showing interest, and fear of being rejected. The point is, you are interested, so who cares who shows interest first? Besides, she's already gotten more personal with you -- most women will not ask men they're not interested in to a friend's birthday party -- so she's indicated that the door is open, so to speak, for you make the next move. If she didn't have the bf, I'd say ask her out already. She is talking to me again same way that she used to, dang it, I am on a roller coaster! If you haven't asked her out or reciprocated her efforts to spend time together outside the casino, then she might have pulled back because she thinks you're not interested after all. Also, the bf does complicate things, and could lead to more of a rollercoaster in the future. My advice would be to keep some distance as long as she has the bf; you don't need that drama. I don't know how long you've been divorced, but this girl might end up being more of a rebound for you than anything serious -- it would suck for her if she gave up her bf for you and things didn't work out. Either or both of you could end up very unhappy if you rush things. I suggest taking things slow and getting to know her better without getting romantically involved just yet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author GettingYeon Posted September 25, 2012 Author Share Posted September 25, 2012 So I did end up texting her last night, she was on the way home after work, we basically just said hi and good nite. Will I seem appear desperate if I want to text her when I want to? Should I just ask her out for a drink? Link to post Share on other sites
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