midnitebuterfly Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 I have one question.. I have notied guys around my age like obese women.. At the same time they wouldn't date a women that has a disibility.. I was born with a skin disorder and I don't understand how being obese and having a skin disorder differenent? Why is this?? I look like I was in a fire.. Link to post Share on other sites
reasontosigh Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 I have one question.. I have notied guys around my age like obese women.. What age is that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author midnitebuterfly Posted July 25, 2004 Author Share Posted July 25, 2004 24 Link to post Share on other sites
swtbonita Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 I don't see how you can compare the two.. they only way to find a nice guy is to get to know the guy and then start dating.. no matter if you are obese, have a skin disorder and are a normal woman.. there is only one way to get a man's attention.. Make a good impression.. try to get them to know you first.. and i was obese before and i did not have alot of guys ask me out and now that i lost the weight i do get more attention.. I can see you see your disorder as a disadvantage.. but i think you should just try to talk to guys.. become their friends.. make a move and ask them out.. Most men date confident women.. Link to post Share on other sites
Craig Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 Originally posted by swtbonita I don't see how you can compare the two.. they only way to find a nice guy is to get to know the guy and then start dating.. no matter if you are obese, have a skin disorder and are a normal woman.. there is only one way to get a man's attention.. Make a good impression.. try to get them to know you first.. and i was obese before and i did not have alot of guys ask me out and now that i lost the weight i do get more attention.. I can see you see your disorder as a disadvantage.. but i think you should just try to talk to guys.. become their friends.. make a move and ask them out.. Most men date confident women.. Well said swtbonita! What matters for me is the person inside of the body. If I were single (I'm not) and I met a girl that had any kind of physical disability what would determine if I asked her out would be based on her--not her outside appearance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author midnitebuterfly Posted July 26, 2004 Author Share Posted July 26, 2004 Most men I want to hang out with and just be come friends with think I want to get with them and all.. And yea.. It gets fustrating.. Link to post Share on other sites
mronederful Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 come on, no girl wants a nice guy! a guy has to act like a jerk or wear a wedding ring to get any attention. i like being nice but is a fault! all women are beautiful, thin, thick, short, tall, whatever, when the right guy comes around, for your sake i hope you aren't too busy trying to get mr wrong's attention. we don't try to change women, we just seek out what we want and everyone wants something different Link to post Share on other sites
Author midnitebuterfly Posted July 27, 2004 Author Share Posted July 27, 2004 Originally posted by mronederful come on, no girl wants a nice guy! a guy has to act like a jerk or wear a wedding ring to get any attention. i like being nice but is a fault! all women are beautiful, thin, thick, short, tall, whatever, when the right guy comes around, for your sake i hope you aren't too busy trying to get mr wrong's attention. we don't try to change women, we just seek out what we want and everyone wants something different Mronederful, That is not true, I don't care if they are obese, tall, short, as long as they are funny and fun to be with! And an awesome persinality.. Doy ou have a gf? How old are you? Link to post Share on other sites
xeon124 Posted July 30, 2004 Share Posted July 30, 2004 I guess it depends on the skin disorder... I mean, some people are just more picky then others about looks. It's just an unfortunate truth. If you have a few zits or something... I don't see that being that big of a deal. If you have leprosy, or had half your face burnt off before... it may not attract many people. I'm not trying to be a jerk to you. I just am trying to be frank about how things are. I hope you find a person who loves you for you. And, it might just be a lack of confidence thing too. I bet you, more than likley, that's it Link to post Share on other sites
lioness Posted July 30, 2004 Share Posted July 30, 2004 mronederful sounds BITTER. What's the deal? Are you a thwarted nice guy? Got stepped on? Everyone's opinion of nice guy is different anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Goldmund2004 Posted August 1, 2004 Share Posted August 1, 2004 I am going to be a realist for you--and start by questioning which guys you are talking about that like obese women, because I don't know any that are attracted to them right off the bat. Quite frankly, obesity usually indicates a lack of self control, a poor lifestyle, and/or a lack of respect for oneself enough to at least not be severely overweight. But to the topic at hand, you must acknowledge that the biological attraction between men and women that leads to romance, sex, marriage, children, etc. is driven by the need to reproduce, and both men and women are instinctively attracted to people who look like, act like, and yes even smell like someone that is capable of reproducing and performing his / her role in the process of producing and raising a child. I know some people in today's day and age want to believe otherwise but this is still the case. If your skin disease is so severe that it causes a negative reaction from that instinctive behavior then you will not have an easy time at all having a romantic relationship. Men look for women with symmetrical faces, healthy skin, large breasts and healthy bodies because these women are more likely not to have genetic defects that are passed on to their offspring. Now, we don't think about it this way from day to day, like I said it's instinctual. Therefore, you will need to do what others have suggested and realize that you are at a disadvantage in the sexual arena and compensate for it in some way by being friendly, compassionate, and geniune with people and you will form relationships that may or may not be sexual. Link to post Share on other sites
dudesomewhere Posted August 1, 2004 Share Posted August 1, 2004 nay on the breast thing...yay on the rest. Good scientific essay . But yeah, I really don't think the breast thing is a part of it...it could be but damn I'm not into breasts and requiring them to be bigger is better...so I had to give input. Link to post Share on other sites
lioness Posted August 1, 2004 Share Posted August 1, 2004 dude - YAY on the breast thing. That is how we feed our offspring! Goldmund is right, of course men and women instinctively look for what is going to ensure the succession of their genetics, in the healthiest and strongest form possible. Remember, survival of the fittest? The strongest and healthiest survive to create the next generation, and so on and so forth. So, midnitebuterfly, on an animal instinct level, your skin condition does hold some men back. But I'm sure there's one out there for you who won't even look twice at it, or let it slow him down. Link to post Share on other sites
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