Author Sc_rugger Posted September 25, 2012 Author Share Posted September 25, 2012 I haven't had any contact with her in a few days... She keeps "liking" my pictures on instagram, I don't follow her. And we are not Fabo friends and I've blocked her from that. She's telling my mom everything and not me... It's weird. My mom told her to stop though cause she isn't involved and what my ex has done is so wrong that it hurts her Link to post Share on other sites
Dblock10 Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 I haven't had any contact with her in a few days... She keeps "liking" my pictures on instagram, I don't follow her. And we are not Fabo friends and I've blocked her from that. She's telling my mom everything and not me... It's weird. My mom told her to stop though cause she isn't involved and what my ex has done is so wrong that it hurts her just ignore her, she clearly doesnt have a clue what she is doing. either tell her to f off or make it clear you are done with it. her behaviour is purely selfish and unacceptable Link to post Share on other sites
okiedokie Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 at this point if you are serious with healing you should block her from ALL communication with you. Tell your family not to discuss her with you or you with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sc_rugger Posted September 28, 2012 Author Share Posted September 28, 2012 She sent an email. It was sweet. I didn't respond and then a few hours later she sent this.... "i just really need to figure out what i want. and im sorry that im hurting you in the process, i really am sorry." Link to post Share on other sites
Mike_d Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 leave her be, do not respond to this right now. she is thinking good thoughts, let her sit, do not "fix" her Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sc_rugger Posted September 28, 2012 Author Share Posted September 28, 2012 Ya. She told my mom that she is considering trying again to see if I can really provide for her like I've said. But she's trying to deal with midterms right now and needs to focus on that before anything else. Link to post Share on other sites
JayL Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 (edited) I know that this is a very tough time for you as you have spent a huge chunk of your life with this woman, but my friend, take a look at the situation and ask yourself this question... "Why am I letting her walk all over me?" Do you not give yourself some value? What if that day never comes? So you are telling us that you are "okay" with being a back-up plan and if things don't work out between her and him, that she will come back to you? What if it does work out? What will you do? Why do you willingly agree to something that will prolong your pain and suffering? Listen carefully, "if" she really cares about you, she will let you go. Why? The mere fact that she said those lines are obvious signs of "selfishness". She cares about her, NOT YOU. Now, why would you want to be with a woman like that? MOVE ON! Drop this b*tch and focus on yourself, your future. Nobody deserves to be treated that way and nobody deserves to be just someone's "back-up" plan. Are you insane?! Why stay if you're not happy? Why stay if you're treated as a back-up plan? So if things don't work out with guy A (him), I'll settle for guy B (you). How do you feel about that? Do you feel good being given less value than this other dude? Snap out of it! Edited September 28, 2012 by JayL Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sc_rugger Posted September 28, 2012 Author Share Posted September 28, 2012 She dropped the other guy already Link to post Share on other sites
hellodearest Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 Dude, you have a unique situation, and when I read it, I thought maybe I could've wrote it. My ex and I dated for two years, broke up a four times now because even though she loved me, she wasn't sure if she was IN love with me. I'm her first relationship and she is self admittedly "emotionally crazy". We get along great, she says I've taught her so much about sex, thinks I'm attractive, we're insanely compatible, she even moved across the country with me for me to attend school after only dating me for 6 months. I'm her first relationship, The first time couple times we broke I let her chalk it up to be being emotional. She had some really bad depression. Both those times, they were sweet breakups, she just cried and said she wasn't happy, didn't know what she wanted. She came back both times after a couple weeks, saying that she needed me, that I'm her medicine, and that she would never find someone better to her than I am. Fast forward awhile, and we were talking about moving in together. One night, she freaks out and says that she doesn't want to move in with me any more. She sees me more as a best friend. I'm devastated, I thought her rollercoaster of emotions had ended by then. A couple weeks go by, she starts texting me again and asking me to hang out. We start sleeping together, (though not dating again) she STILL says she's unsure if I'm the one. I find out later, that she is starting to talk to another guy while were sleeping together. She admits to everything, and says she's confused. I get really angry and say, well, you have to choose one of us! She chooses neither of us, and says that she just needs some time alone, maybe to date around, maybe to stay single, but wants me to wait because she sees herself marrying me and having kids down the line. She says we just met too early in life. I say... **** THAT. And I start NC. A couple weeks go by, and I find that she slipped a note underneath my door, it's a quote from a book about a guy waiting for a girl because she can't help herself, she's confused. In the note she asks if I love her enough to wait for her. I never respond. Another week goes by, and she starts texting me and calling me. She tells me that I'm the one, she wants me, and that she's been so crazy and please please come over to see her, and tells me how sad she's been. She says she hasn't talked to the other guy for a couple weeks. I go over, we make up, she says she realizes it was unfair of her to ask me to wait. She starts talking babies and marriage, picks out marriage songs, is looking at wedding dresses, etc. I tell her to take it slow. We start dating again, everything is great. She's still talking about marriage a lot, joking about kids, she's picked out some baby names, the relationship feels right finally. I tell my friends that I'm so glad I took her back. She is more affection, gives me presents, and we are awesome for 6 more months. Until. Last week. We just broke up again. She says she still feels like I'm her best friend. I'm totally crushed right now, but my advice to you is, make DAMN sure she is committed before going back. Even baby talk and marriage talk are not sure indicators. Do I regret all this? No. She's made me a better person and I don't hate her. What am I going to do now? Well, ****, I still love the **** out of her and want her back. Am I in pain? ****. Anyway, don't think any of that helps you, except, I know your feel brother. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JayL Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 (edited) My advice is to walk away, if they really want to be with you, they will come back. This being said.. DO NOT wait. Focus on you, your career, your education, your body, your family, your friends, your future WITHOUT them in it. I've gone through the same thing and I've been single for 3 weeks now. I'd have to say that I am much happier, despite the fact that I'm on sex withdrawal and missing her every second of each day... well... and sex.... we all miss that, don't we? I know that soon, I'll be better and stronger and one day I'll meet that girl whose emotions are "stable" and can be happy with me. This is what a buddy of mine just said to me this morning as he has broken up with his girlfriend too recently... "Single is another word for happy, why would you want to be with someone you are not happy with? Keep up the positive attitude because that is what will draw the perfect girl for you". That slapped me awake and made me realize... "my friend is right". Edited September 28, 2012 by JayL Link to post Share on other sites
okiedokie Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 tread lightly my friend b/c she is going to hurt you again if you allow her back in. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sc_rugger Posted September 29, 2012 Author Share Posted September 29, 2012 tread lightly my friend b/c she is going to hurt you again if you allow her back in. She might not let me back in Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 To make a long story short. My ex left me after 4 years and 1 year of living together. She said there was no "spark" left she saw me as a best friend. I knew the spark was dying because i was going through some problems and didnt feel in the mood. And she met someone else but had feelings for him and me. She also said that I didn't make her feel as wanted as she wanted. But she says now that she knows I love her and it hurts her to know how much I really do care, she said she wished I had showed it more. I told her I didn't think I needed to show her how much because I thought she knew.... It's been a little over a month now and until yesterday we talked everyday and saw each other once a week, she told me she was dating this guy now (who is nothing like me at all) I told her I was okay with dating her too and she then said that she actually didn't want to date me or this guy. But low an behold they are not dating but actually in a relationship together.... Less than a month later actually. She said she wants to see what else is out there but promise to come back one day and when she wants more she will let me know... "I liked her so much I put a ring on it" last year. I love this girl and I told her is she doesn't want me then let me go and her reply was "I'm not just letting you go" She wants some time apart and wants to forget the bad times and remember the good ones before she comes back to try again, she said ill be in the back of her mind and she thinks that really not talking will bring her back. She has kept every promise she has made this far, and I hope she keeps the this last one about coming back..... She always said we were like Allie and Noah from The Notebook... this isnt fair on you at all and not at all loving, I wouldn't suggest you wait for her, find someone who loves you and doesn't want anyone but you..you are wasting time and effort thinking about being with her....she isn't with you........deb Link to post Share on other sites
okiedokie Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 She might not let me back in why do you continue to give her all of the power? You keep giving her the say in this relationship...she should be worried about you taking her back based on how she has acted...I'm telling you bro, this is a root reason she is doing what she is doing...she knows she can get away with it and all she will need to do is sweet talk and manipulate her way back in IF she chooses to...you have power to say "get lost after what you've done". Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sc_rugger Posted September 29, 2012 Author Share Posted September 29, 2012 I'm not giving her any power... Let her continue to think I'm waiting, I'm not and she'll have a rude awakening unless she proves to me that she deserves me! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sc_rugger Posted September 29, 2012 Author Share Posted September 29, 2012 It's so hard not to try. Yes she did me wrong! But I wasn't perfect either. She didn't know I cared about her as much as I do.... I always kept things pretty close to the chest and I feel like its my fault she left, I know I could have done a better job, and I know I will do a better job. I'm just sad Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sc_rugger Posted September 30, 2012 Author Share Posted September 30, 2012 So I'm dumb and started talking to her again... She said that she was sorry she's being distant she is just trying to study for her last mid-term. She told me she's unsure of what she wants, and that for me to not think that she doesn't care she's just trying to push it aside for now to focus on studying. She did agree to meet up to do something fun after her test to relax a little. She said she has never had this much stress before and she's trying to cope with it all. She still has good communication with my mom, and told her that she's afraid and scared that its gonna go back to how it once was. (Which it won't) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sc_rugger Posted October 1, 2012 Author Share Posted October 1, 2012 Well it's over. We said out goodbyes via text, cause she didn't want to do it face to face. It hurt but I know her and she wouldn't have said anything to my face. She left it as she didn't want to pretend that she wasn't afraid. And she would end up missing me like crazy she would come running back but now she wanted me to just let go and that she was so sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
magz Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 I was in a similar situation as you did. But I'm a girl..and he said goodbye to me and wanted to date other people, since it's LDR...it really hurts me, I cried for a few weeks, until even now. We were best friends for 4 years... the last time we talked was friendly and fun, i tried to sound good to him, but i'm really not..he even said: 'you're really special to me...I feel great joy seeing your smile..' what can I do? we live in different cities... i thought true love never fails...but perhaps this is not love at all... i would say, forget about her for a while, if you love someone, and you tried, then you should set them free, someday when you get back to yourself, you might be able to talk to them again...and things would be different then. I'm in NC for about 12 days. still counting the days...each day passes with ups and downs...but deep down, i know i need this time alone to reflect... Do you know, there is a saying that, if you missed someone, that person is probably also missing you too... i want to believe in this... may you feel better soon, quiet your mind and find your strength back Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sc_rugger Posted October 2, 2012 Author Share Posted October 2, 2012 Thank you It was hard because we lived together. She pushed and pulled me for 2 months till today. I hate that she's scared... And that she thinks not talking will help. I should really be mad at her, she left me and walked out on me for someone 8 years older... Link to post Share on other sites
magz Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 if she stays with the new guy, then you know it's time to move on. it's eaiser said than done. but it pays in the long term. what's the exact reason she broke up with you? did she feel insecure? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sc_rugger Posted October 2, 2012 Author Share Posted October 2, 2012 She thought we were going through the motions and the "spark" was dying. And new guy came in an was nice and surprised her daily... I'm going to move on regardless, we said out "goodbyes" for the 3rd time. But she said this needs to be for real and that she's sorry but I need to let go and not wait. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sc_rugger Posted October 6, 2012 Author Share Posted October 6, 2012 Well 1 week down with no contact, other than her writing someone on my Instagram yesterday. It sucks cause we had tickets to go to a concert tonight, I took a friend but missed my ex the entire time... I wanted so much to call her when I got home, but didnt... Things seem to be going well for her and the new guy. I just hope she's happy Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sc_rugger Posted October 7, 2012 Author Share Posted October 7, 2012 When do the urges to reach out end?! Link to post Share on other sites
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