I think my uncle did something.

[theamazon]

I just joined today, I sometimes visit this site when I'm bored. I was reading an older thread about this woman talking about how she was abused and as I was reading it I noticed some things that made me feel sick. I'm starting to think my uncle might have abused when I was staying at his place with his wife and son, I'm not really sure but I have a gut feeling he did. I would wake up my bed would be wet or there would be sticky stuff on the sheets but at the time I had thought somehow at that age I had wet myself so I would even though after age seven that had stopped completely. My breasts wouldn't be inside bra after I woke up my clothes would just be strange in general. Since puberty started he made my uncomfortable when he hugged me it would be for too long or too tight he would rub my back and get as close as possible to my butt he would always be touching me. When my mom came back from her trip I didn't want to see him any more and I didn't know why. In the first week of me staying there every night I would hear him come into the room I was sharing with his son and change the channel to a Christian network(he is a Jesus freak) after that week I don't remember anything, even though by the time morning came the channel has been changed and that was when all the stuff started happening. My underwear also would pulled up and I would be wet down there more than usual. I'm not sure what to really do or if I'm making something out of nothing, I just need advice . My heart is beating really hard and I'm so nauseous I really don't know what to do I know I can't say anything to my mom and that's the only person I have to talk to my brother is sick and I have no friends. I'm just really sad. Can someone give me advice please?

[seren]

Hi, first off I would talk to a women's crisis centre, you need to get this out and talk about it. I don't know if you were abused, that you think you were is enough to raise red flags everywhere. Is there someone you can speak with? Is your uncle still alive? The first step is to talk about it with someone who can guide you, even if you will never have the answers, you need support to deal with your memories and work through them.

 

Do you have siblings who might have experienced the same? If you do, then talk with them if you can, they may be feeling the same way. Don't mull this over on your own, you need help and support sooner rather than later. Take Care Seren xxx

[whichwayisup]

I feel awful for what you've gone through. Do talk to your mom or if you're not comfortable talking to her yet, tell someone else you're close to. Either a friend, or another adult. Talking to a therapist about this will help as well.

 

Reading on here triggered you and brought up a faint feeling/memory. Be aware of what triggers you have now..Could be a scent, a song, something on TV.

[MonsterMash]

I'm going to give you some advice from the perspective of a former police officer.

 

1. Yes, there are such things as repressed memories for some childhood victims of molestation. The mind basically blanks out as a defense mechanism for the child..only to come back later in life. Its almost like the mind says "OK, you can handle it now. Here you go!" We still don't know everything about how the mind works, and I'm far from an expert. But I have seen it and its 100% real.

 

2. Once the memories start, they won't stop. You'll remember more and more, until it's all purged from your mind. Another defense mechanism I believe. SEEK HELP FROM A TRAINED PROFESSIONAL. Not that there is anything wrong with you, per se. But there will be a whole range of emotions you will go through: disbelief, depression, anger, sadness, guilt. A good psychologist, preferably one who specializes in sexual assult victims, will be of great help to you.

 

3. Decide what you want to do with the results of this newfound knowledge. In a good number of states, sexual abuse of a child has no real statute of limitations. The ones that do, the clock doesn't start running until the crime is reported. Meaning, if it happened when you were 7, but you don't report it until you're 21...then the time limit starts from when you report it. Not from 14 years previously.

 

4. Whatever decision you make, make sure you can live with it. I know this may sound harsh, but don't expect any help from your family. However, do what you feel is best for YOU. At the end of the day, its your physical and mental wellbeing that matters.

 

No matter what you do in the end...seek help. Theres nothing for you to be ashamed of because you didn't do anything wrong. I know it will be tough, but you come first. Remember that.

 

I wish you all the best in this trying journey.

Edited September 24, 2012 by MonsterMash

[CC12]

Is there someone you can speak with? Is your uncle still alive? The first step is to talk about it with someone who can guide you...

 

Don't talk to your uncle about this, OP! Seren, it looked like you were advising her to talk to her uncle if he's still alive, but I don't think you meant it that way so I just wanted to clarify in case the OP thought it would be a good idea to talk to her uncle about this.

 

OP, are you legally an adult right now, as in over 18 years old?

[seren]

CCP Thanks for clarifying that I did not meant to talk to the uncle, of course, do not talk to him. My concerns were that she might be in contact with him as part of her family and also that once the lid of the can of worms is open her feelings will be very near the surface and being in any proximity to him will trigger.

 

I have counselled families where there has been familial sexual assault, some years after the event. The feelings are as raw 20 years later as they are 2 years after. In many cases the person did not report, things were very different for SA survivors way back, there is a whole lot of support out there now and there are very definite steps that are used when working with someone to explore how they are now.

 

I reiterate what everyone has said, get professional help today, don't leave it any longer. xx

[theamazon]

I was really disturbed yesterday but i think im okay now i really rather not talk to anyone about it i was already 14 when it happened so im not sure about repressed memories. My uncle still is alive, but i much rather act like it never happened at least for now there are too many things going on right now. It wasn't that long ago but there is no point I don't want to accuse someone and it was all in my mind and I tested my mom and she freaked out she is dealing with way too much right now I don't want to make it nothing would come of it. It really honestly could have been made up in my mind.

[whichwayisup]

I was really disturbed yesterday but i think im okay now i really rather not talk to anyone about it i was already 14 when it happened so im not sure about repressed memories. My uncle still is alive, but i much rather act like it never happened at least for now there are too many things going on right now. It wasn't that long ago but there is no point I don't want to accuse someone and it was all in my mind and I tested my mom and she freaked out she is dealing with way too much right now I don't want to make it nothing would come of it. It really honestly could have been made up in my mind.

 

Please still go talk to someone. These memories could keep happening..Being triggered too. The last thing I want to happen to you is you go into a deep depression and suffer more.

Forget your mom right now as you say she's in no state to handle this. So please speak to a therapist to help you through this. It won't just go away if you ignore it..Eventually it'll come out in ways you may not like or be able to handle.