Author kodiak Posted August 3, 2004 Author Share Posted August 3, 2004 Thanks man im trying my best to hang in there and deal with it the best i can its so hard. I just wish that i could have some answers. I feel that stuff was left so open with us, that there wa no really closure. Then i figure that maybe its best that i dont talk to her at all. Its so weird to think that someone can make you feel so loved and then have nothing to do with you. I mean i feel as if my ex completely forgot that i ever existed. It just sucks. I wish she would have never called me last week, it just screwed with my head. Do you think that it could have been a moment of weakness for her, then she realized that its too hard to talk to me still. Im mean a phone call just to see how im doing would be nice, but i dont even get that. I was a very good boyfriend to her too, very good. Somedays i think that maybe she wasnt the girl i thought she was and it hurts but maybe it is true. I was her second longest relationship she has had besides a relationship she had where she dated a guy 12 years older then her. She told me she was young and stupid and looked back on it and realized how stupid she was. I guess I just dont understand. I know that i will never get any answers from her unless one day we get back together. Its just very hard to think that i might never talk too her again. Anyways today is another day so im going to do my best to get through it. Thanks everbody for reading. Link to post Share on other sites
crazydawg Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 hang in there man like i said, Its most likely final... My ex was online today and she dind't even say hi to me. Like she hates me... I talked to her everyday for the past 1.5 yrs and i haven't spoken to her in a month and i don't even get a hello. Women these days are selfish they want whats best for them. She might have had a doubt but i think she just wanted to see if you were ok... I'm going to try and different approach.. i'm going to try and date and see what happens. i know that i love this girl but they are not home crying about us. They're out having fun and thats not fair to us. Its not fair that we have to suffer because they wanna have fun.. I know she will contact u again man but just don't take it in any shape or form that she wants u back.. I know it and its almost certainly final.. I think its ok to have hope but we have to be men and move on i look rockhard on the outside but i'm a wuss in the inside. Anyway i'm here for u man as long as i can hang in you can also... Link to post Share on other sites
Author kodiak Posted August 3, 2004 Author Share Posted August 3, 2004 Crazydawg- Hey brother thanks for the reply. It was kinda tough to read it because i guess I know that it is over too but its hard to beleive. It just seems so wierd and just not right. Did your ex every break up before? Also have you tried to contact her at all or has she just ignored her. I have been seeing a therapist since the break up to work on my insecurities and she diagnosed with me a slight case of OCD. it runs in the family but she said that she advises me not to take any medication for it because the side effects of that stuff is really bad. the problem is that I consatntly think about her. My ex consumes my thoughts all the time. I am so worried that i will never be able to get over her. Thats what scares me the most. To grow old and still be inlove with this girl that i cant have. Anyways thanks for the advice....Take it easy and you hang in there too. Link to post Share on other sites
crazydawg Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 My thoughts are consumed, all day also The problem is if we were to dump them first we wouldn't be here crying they would. Sucks to be dumped i know.. Yes i did try and contact her and she was very cold to me.. It doesn't matter what face they put on now. They're isn't any us involved anymore. Anyway i'm getting off work and going out to take my mind off. Its the only way.. 1 month and i've improved... u will too Link to post Share on other sites
Author kodiak Posted August 4, 2004 Author Share Posted August 4, 2004 yep it sures feels the worse to be on the dumped side. The pain sometimes is unbearable and everyday feels like such a task to get through. I hate going places that my ex and I went to even if its target. I told myslef in this relationship not to get so attached and fall so hard for this girl. I let my relationship totally consume me and now i feel so empty. The nightly phone calls and the early morning wake-up calls jsut to say "I love you" is one thing that i miss the most. Since the break-up I have become so bitter and angry at the world. I just feel so hurt that i gave so much of my love to this person who I felt loved me too. I guess i was wrong. I learned to accept the fact that nomatter how much i pray or what i do will not make a difference whether me and my ex get back together. If its not meant to be than nomatter what i do it will never happen. I have so many unanswered questions but thinking about it all day long is doing no good. I just truly hope that one day she might realize what a good thing she had. I hope that everybody on this site gets what they deserve(In a good way that is!!!!) I hope that we all either get over our exes and move onto a better relationship and be happier than before. Or that if our love is true with our exes, we get our SECOND CHANCE. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kodiak Posted August 6, 2004 Author Share Posted August 6, 2004 I appreciate all the advice i got from all the guys on this site and I hope that they keep on coming. However i was wondering if any women could maybe give me some insight on why my ex might have called me two weeks ago. Read my original post to get the details. Like i said she made it a point for me to give her a call and the message was very nice and long. She even said " I guess i will talk to you soon" So i waited a few days to call her back then left her a quick message. Its been almost two weeks and i have not heard from her. She insisted so much that we will reamin friends and talk. I have sent her a few text messages in the last two weeks and I still got no reply. I dont look at her calling me as a way for her to get me back, all I did was took it as a nice gesture thats she even called. I mean it was a very nice message. I could tell in her voice that she was nervous because she repeated things over and over again. Anyways so any girls that might have dumped a guy that you had a very good relationship with and still loved him very much but the relationship wasnt working, give me some ideas why you might have called him. then if you could give me some reasons why once he tried to call you back you ignored him and never returned his call. I would appreciate it very much. Either good news or bad, hopefully it will clear up my head a little. Thanks Kodiak............. Link to post Share on other sites
crazydawg Posted August 6, 2004 Share Posted August 6, 2004 my ex contacted me through online and was very friendly... like nothing ver happened... i told her that she is very cold when she talks to me and she said she wasn't then i told her i had something to tell her and it was important and that i could only say it in person, she said if it was bad and i told her some of it was.. ( i wasn't completely honest with this girl) anyway she seemed very interested i told her only in person i'd do it.. and i signed off she emailed me about 10 min later saying tell her 1 thing and she'd meet me.. i replyed the next day and told her that i had alot to say ... and not to waist my time, if she thought it was a waist... she never replied... so there you have it... guys stop waisitng your time.... they will contact but they don't want anything else... its like they want to rub it in our faces.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author kodiak Posted August 6, 2004 Author Share Posted August 6, 2004 Carzydawg- Thanks again for the reply. i know how it can feel when the person you shared so much with treats you like you are scum now. they are cold with you and make you feel like you are not important to them anymore. Im sure one day that will pass. my ex before my ex and I can talk now and it is totally cool. she was the sameway but I know now that part of her regrets that every traeting me that way. I can talk to her about my ex now and she gives me advice. Its nice to hear from a girl what another girl might be thinking. i find alot of them to be thinking somewhat the same. Hang in there my brother, we will get through this...Kodiak Link to post Share on other sites
Author kodiak Posted August 8, 2004 Author Share Posted August 8, 2004 Well everybody after about another week of no contact my ex contacted me again. So twice in two weeks isnt so bad, atleast she still remembers who I am, lol... So again I missed the phone call because my phone was on vibrate. I was in the car at the time and onbe of our songs came on so it was a weird time that she called me. anyways i called her back later that night after asking my buddies what i should do. To my surprise she picked up the phone and we talked for like a hour and 10 minutes. I never brought up anything about us because I feel that i willl let her lead into it if she wants to discuss that. We talked about everything and it felt so normal. i made her laught liek we used too and she ask everything about me and how my family was etc.... It was nice to talk to her. I tried to keep the conversation short but she kept talking and talking. Its like we never missed a beat except for saying "I love you". Anyways I dont feel bad today because i talked to her, It was just a cool thing, you know? Maybe im getting over her and I just dont know it yet. I was very surprised that our converstaion lasted that long and it was that nice. Maybe I made a mistake by calling her back but she has called me twice so i figured i should. who knows. I guess it cant make things worse. ANy opinions or advice, let me know???? Thanks Kodiak Link to post Share on other sites
crazydawg Posted August 8, 2004 Share Posted August 8, 2004 hey man i'm glad that, she called and i sorta knew it anyhow, did she drop any signs or anything, i can just say play it cool, i'm getting some sort of progress i hope but i'm not expecting a good outcome... maybe its friendly maybe its not time will only tell but u see man we need to stop being wusses thats what turns them off. I know we're better than this.. Stay strong kidd.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author kodiak Posted August 8, 2004 Author Share Posted August 8, 2004 Craxydawg- Thanks again my brother for the reply. Its been pretty much me and you posting on this thread, its cool that you can relate to someone over the computer so well. Anyways i look at her conatcting me as just friendly. If I think anything else it will just give me false hope. You know what i mean. Its cool that she has been the one contacting me and reaching out. You are right though we need to stop being wussies and realize that we will be ok nomatter what happens with our exes. Sure I would have loved to hear her profess her love for me last night and tell me how much she misses me. But that is a big step and I would expect it right away anyhow. Obviously she still thinks about from time to time and wants to talk to me. i figured she could always just send me a text message or e-mail but she always calls and leaves a message. It was a great talk regardless and like i said besides the "I loves yous" it was just the same. So in the meantiem im jsut going to focus on being happy and making the best out of my life. you see bro, I have a very good life for a young kid my age. Im a fireman with a great department, I make great money, have a great gorup of friends and family and pretty can do whatever i want ie..travel, go on vacations, etc.. I know that i can attract many girls and have the confidence to pursue them. I just got so caught up with my ex girlfriend that i overloooked how great things are for me. anyways I hope that things work out for you. Try to be a little more positive because Im telling u our girls sense a negative vibe and know that you are sad. I was so ubeat when talking to her last night that I know she loved it. Even if you dont feel it, pretend it ok? Well its late and Im going to bed but good luck and things will look better tomorrow and they will work out if its meant to be. I promise....................Kodiak Link to post Share on other sites
beautiful Posted August 10, 2004 Share Posted August 10, 2004 Kodiak...you wanted a woman's thought on this and here you are I am giving my thoughts on this. Aren't you tired yet of this "GAME"? Gosh what is wrong with men/women? Listen up ok..........being with the right person, the ONE, does NOT involve all this drama you going through now. Have some self respect and self love and move on. This is nothing but games from her the way I see it and you playing right along. Have some self worth and live your life happily and they way you want to. Remember, " WE ALL WANT WHAT WE CAN'T HAVE" Women play games sometimes a lot of games. (So do men) they read some stupid "DATING RULES" book and follow it instead of being honest and sincere. Games is what makes it all bad! Even the "no contact rule" is a game, a bad one if you ask me. Be sincere with yourself. Live your life and take care of you. Love will ONLY come once you love yourself first and you have a LIVE! She is going to hurt you more if you insist on playing this stupid game with her. You do as you please however you asked. When 2 people love each other, respect each other and have a healthy self love and self respect as well as a healthy life style........................only than can you have a healthy relationship and you won't be needing boards like this to find answers, answers that you already have within yourself my friend:-) All this energey that people put into exe's wow , take that energy and work on yourself, we all need that from time to time so we don't keep making the same mistakes over and over again. God Bless! Link to post Share on other sites
Author kodiak Posted August 10, 2004 Author Share Posted August 10, 2004 Beautifull- Thanks for the response. It was a little harsh but in a good way. It is what i needed to hear i guess. Im not trying to play games. Im not calling her at all or begging or pleading with her. I guess I just miss her thats all. Its been two months today and it still hurts. Although my relationship was LD, i still loved this girl with all my heart. I made alot mistakes in our relationship and i have to accept it and move on. Today i knew weould be hard because we would have been together 1 year. She talked so much about this day and i had a trip planned and payed for. So instead im working overtime at work just to keep me busy. I guess she doesnt love me the way she said she did or she would be with me right now. She called me a couple times in the last two weeks and I wish now i never talked to her. Sure it was great and we talked for like hours but i know one day that will all end too. Anyways thanks agian for the reply i guess it was what i needed to hear. ............Kodaik Link to post Share on other sites
Author kodiak Posted August 22, 2004 Author Share Posted August 22, 2004 Well everybody its been two weeks since my ex last contacted me. I wish i would have never called her back that night she called. we talked way too long and it was way too good, exactly what I was afraid of. I wish I would have listened more to what some of you on this thread told me and not called her. Instead I listened to my family and friends and they said that since she has been the one calling you, you should call her back. So I did and we talked and it was great. Besides her telling me that she made a mistake and loved me, I couldnt ask for it to go any better. However its two weeks now and I feel like crap. Everytime my phone rings I hope that it her and i get mad when its not. You know how that goes? So I need some advice. My ex and I broke up on very good terms and we both expressed how much we love each still but that the long distance was not making the relationship work. Should I keep the line of communication open or not? It hurts to talk to her but I want her not to forget me. Maybe she has already, I dont know? Should I reach out and call her every once in awhile and say hi and ask hows she doing, or not? Its been two months and I still miss her terribly so I dont know if talking with her will be good? Its a gamble, you know? I was thinking about writting her a letter telling her everything that I never got a chance to say just so I can get some closure since we never had any. Is that a good idea or not? Has anybody ever done that before and if so what was the outcome. Did it help you and make you feel better? Please I need some advice. Thanks...............Kodiak Link to post Share on other sites
crazydawg Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 hey kodiak, been a while. I'll give u an update well u read b4 where she called me on my birthday and said she would call me back , never did. Well today i finally broke in. I called ehr at her work, we talked she was busy called me back kinda a happy talk. Well she said she would call me back later, never did. I called her back and she aid she would call me later tonight or 2morrow. Now they may have been stupoid or not it depends u guys give me ur opinion. I called again and told her that i wanted to speak to her. She asked why, i told her i can't wait for her to call me 2morrow and that i needed to tell her how i felt about her now. I was completely honest i told her that i still have feelings for her, and i love her. I told her that i can't understand other girls, and i feel that there was something between us. She kept saying yeah.. She told me she had to go and promised me she would call me 2morrow. We'll see if that happens. I forgot to tell her my extension at work changed... HEH. I have to admit i was holding these feelings back i do feel better now because i know its over but i had to tell her how i felt. It took so much courage out of me. I do feel like i lifted something off my chest... It kinda feels good even if she doesn't agree with how i feel i told her the truth no more of this no contact or contact or games. I have no patience. I told her how i felt its up to her to act on it. She's the wrong person for me but i can't help myself. This may have been the biggest boost to her ego and my total destruction of pride and respect she had left in me. I caved in guys i'll let you know how it goes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kodiak Posted August 23, 2004 Author Share Posted August 23, 2004 Craztdawg- Thanks brother for the reply. I think what you did by calling your ex was a very goodthing. You found enough self confidence to be able to tell her exactly how you feel about her and the situation. I gurantee there are alot of relationships out there that should have worked out but never did because when it ended people just gave up. Who knows Crazydawg what will happen now!!! It cant get any worse than it is right now and maybe you opening your heart up to yoru ex will give her a eye opener. Who knows? Atleast she knows now how you feel about her. If she never comes around then atleast you have the closure that you need in order to move on. You know? So you might get different feedback from people on what you did however for what its worth I feel that it was a good call. Hope it helps. Link to post Share on other sites
crazydawg Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 thanks man. I'm not even scared to be turned down by her. Its something i was holding back. I've been playing this no contact game too long, i prefer to learn the hardway. Whatever she says or agrees to i'm going to take it. Atleast i wont have to wonder wow what if or but. Tell me straight up do you want somethign we me or not. Not this bs friends thing.. I can't deal with that.. Let u know 2morrow if i get a call from her Link to post Share on other sites
Author kodiak Posted August 23, 2004 Author Share Posted August 23, 2004 Crazydawg- Hey brother I hope everything works out for you, I really do. Mentally prepare yourself for whatever might happen. Be ready for it and remind yourslef that you will be ok with whatever the outcome will be. I hope that your words to your girlfriend really make her think about what it is she truly wants. Man I would love to see a positive thing happen out of this, a happy ending!!! I think that it would re-assure for all of us out there that second chances do exist. Good Luck buddy and please let me know what happens. I think maybe what you did is what I should do with my ex. I dont know though. I have been hurting so bad lately, probably because we talked two weeks ago and it was so great. I should have never called her back. What a mistake!!!! I miss her so damm much at times that it kills me inside. Out of all the girls i dated, even the ones that I was with longer than this last one, no one has made me hurt so bad. God I just wish I could get my second chance. Link to post Share on other sites
crazydawg Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 2 hours to go no contact. Oh and i saw her on aim not a single word. Maybe this is the way god meant it to be =( Link to post Share on other sites
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