Taressa Posted October 31, 2000 Share Posted October 31, 2000 I'm just throwing this out for whatever help it might be... not sure if I could be considered the norm, but maybe I am. The sweetest men on the loveshack are writing for advice on responding to their ex's who contact them and stir up old feelings... most recently is our heartbroken Dave... Now, just from a woman's point of view... Holidays, birthdays, and even changes in weather stir up all the romantic sentimentality in me. At those times I find it hard to be alone and I often find myself daydreaming of old loves, potential loves, and even romanticizing platonic friendships. If "that" time of month coincides with the holiday, I'm still often moved to call that man back into my life... AND I end up regretting it and ending it. Please understand, I'm not intending to use him, my feelings AT THAT MOMENT are very genuine. The trouble is that the romance of the moment doesn't play out too well in everyday life. Men, if a woman who has left you suddenly calls you back into her life, give yourself and her the best gift you possibly could.... TIME. Time seperates sentimental needs from strong love. Time may keep you from making a move that sets you up for another heartbreak. Perhaps I'm rambling, or perhaps something I will say will help you make it through one night of NOT returning a phone call... If it is true love calling you, it will conquer the time you give it. ***** to billy *** And billy... if you're reading this... you'll know my "calling" days have ended. you'll know also that the "call" wasn't for sex but for company and attention. You satisfy me, sweet love. Link to post Share on other sites
Mitch Posted November 1, 2000 Share Posted November 1, 2000 Now, just from a woman's point of view... Holidays, birthdays, and even changes in weather stir up all the romantic sentimentality in me. At those times I find it hard to be alone Men, if a woman who has left you suddenly calls you back into her life, give yourself and Hmmm... How would you rate the following: Thanksgiving, Mother's day, Valentine's Day, New Year's, Christmas, Father's day in terms of impact on average? --- I've heard of (and experienced) this before BTW. Thanks for posting. Link to post Share on other sites
Deejette Posted November 1, 2000 Share Posted November 1, 2000 I agree with Taressa. And it is a shame that people can't make a clean break. They want to prolong the agony, even if they know deep down inside that the relationship cannot work out. Holidays are the times when suicide rates go up because people remember departed loved ones (either dead or gone) and anything seems better than facing the day alone or pining away inside for the hole in one's heart. So we must have awareness enough not to let ourselves be swept back into a relationship that was over for good reasons. If we try to resurrect it out of loneliness, it will still blow up in our face down the road. But I must admit that I feel negative emotions when I hear about men and women who have screwed their exes over or been screwed over and then want to send birthday cards and other tokens of sentimentality. Hmmm... How would you rate the following: Thanksgiving, Mother's day, Valentine's Day, New Year's, Christmas, Father's day in terms of impact on average? --- I've heard of (and experienced) this before BTW. Thanks for posting. Link to post Share on other sites
Taressa Posted November 1, 2000 Share Posted November 1, 2000 Darn computer wouldn't let me on all day... I'm sorry for the delay in responding. Again, I'll use the disclaimer of my personal opinion... other women's circumstances will affect the emotional weight they attach to the event but personally I would rate them in this descending order of importance: Christmas Friend's Wedding Birthday Thanksgiving New Year's Valentine's Day Being single and childless, Mother's day and Father's day just don't carry much romance for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Mitch Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 Darn computer wouldn't let me on all day... I'm sorry for the delay in responding. Again, I'll use the disclaimer of my personal opinion... other women's circumstances will affect the emotional weight they attach to the event but personally I would rate them in this descending order of importance: Christmas Friend's Wedding Birthday Thanksgiving New Year's Valentine's Day Being single and childless, Mother's day and Father's day just don't carry much romance for me. Thanks. I heard New Year's is a pretty bad one. Surprised Valentine's Day is last (but that's actually cool). Friend's weddings, I'd put that at the top of my list most definitely. When things are good no problem. But when things are bad, ugh! Link to post Share on other sites
Taressa Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 Mitch, Do the holidays affect you the same way? Are you likely to try to renew an old flame around these emotional holidays? And Valentine's day is last only because my motives are obvious (can't deceive myself)when I get the holiday blues on that day. New Year's only bothers me if I'm alone in the party crowd and go unkissed at midnight... I stay home with Dick Clark quite a bit, it seems. Gosh, I miss having the time to talk more on the shack... I would love to have heard your story. Hope you're doing okay. Taressa Link to post Share on other sites
Mitch Posted November 4, 2000 Share Posted November 4, 2000 Taressa, Do the holidays affect you the same way? They have their affect, but not the same way it seems. I see most of them as family things more than "I don't have a sweetie" days. Are you likely to try to renew an old flame around these emotional holidays? No. Trouble waiting to happen. Truth is, I really wish things worked with my ex in a big way. I talked to her last night just to see what was up. And it comes as no surprise that things aren't any different. I refuse to bang my head against a wall and it seems breaking up will be a permanent thing. The holidays though are just .. days for the most part. Guy thing? Not sure. The onset of a New Year tends to bug me. Not "New Year's" per se, but just the overall end of one and start of another. And Valentine's day is last only because my motives are obvious (can't deceive myself)when I get the holiday blues on that day. Deceive yourself? Not sure that I understand. Valentine's never bothered me because it's a completely manufactured holiday, IMHO. There's this other one called "sweetest day" out here in the midwest which fortunately hasn't caught on back east it seems. When somebody told me about it out here, I thought they were kidding at first. It seems like it comes about 6 months after Valentine's. Probably not a coincidence. New Year's only bothers me if I'm alone in the party crowd and go unkissed at midnight... I stay home with Dick Clark quite a bit, it seems. New Year's. Now this one seems to get everyone riled up. I make it a point to do as little as possible. Even plan it that way outright. If a party comes up, great. If not, I'll treat it like a weekend night. Gosh, I miss having the time to talk more on the shack... I would love to have heard your story. Hope you're doing okay. Things are okay. Thanks for asking. Hope the same is the case with you. Seems like you should be meeting BTK soon? Link to post Share on other sites
Taressa Posted November 5, 2000 Share Posted November 5, 2000 billy MIGHT be here 2 weeks from tonight... all depends on his work... Oh, how hard I'm hoping! And what I said about not being able to deceive myself on Valentine's day... On other special days, I tell myself I'm just calling a friend. My feelings on Valentine's day are OBVIOUS those of a lover and, having the ability to recognize my true intent, I can ignore my feelings. Yes; this was my first year to experience Sweetest Day, the 2nd Saturday in October. Link to post Share on other sites
Mitch Posted November 7, 2000 Share Posted November 7, 2000 billy MIGHT be here 2 weeks from tonight... all depends on his work... Oh, how hard I'm hoping! And what I said about not being able to deceive myself on Valentine's day... On other special days, I tell myself I'm just calling a friend. My feelings on Valentine's day are OBVIOUS those of a lover and, having the ability to recognize my true intent, I can ignore my feelings. Yes; this was my first year to experience Sweetest Day, the 2nd Saturday in October. Thanks. BTW, just what the *hell* is sweetest day about anyway? What's a gal expect from it out here? - and - How can we prevent it's migration eastward? Link to post Share on other sites
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