Just a "family"

[Sw3etdev1L]

My father is jewish, my mother was catholic. I live in Mexico.

My grandmother didn't want my father to marry my mom, so my aunt and her had lame ass ratial discriminatory attitudes towards her.

My father loved my mother, and they were together for 10 years.

My father didn't mind and kept on living with my mom, until I was bornt and things got well.. Very formal, my father took responsability of the situation as a good man.

But, the family of my father never had good attitudes with my mom, just because she had brown skin, black her, black eyes. She was latin.

My father has even told me that when my mom was pregnant, my aunt told him that she wished her baby (now myself), were black. Just imagine the ratial, discriminatory things she said to my father. What a moron.

So, I was bornt.. I am tall, thin, white, brunette.. I am a healthy jewish woman who didn't mingle with her fathers family when she was young, at an adolescent age I felt so uncomfortable in that family!!!. So uncomfortable!. There was a period of time in which I really wanted to fit in.. Just because I wanted my father tohis get along with his family because they ended up having a divorce of course, and my father was very isolated by his family. Truth is, they were really lame.

Nowadays, they treat me well, althought they are still stupid I have to say. They are still ratial, and discriminatory towards some types of people. Which I really think is lame, because we are a minority.

They sabotaged the happiness of my family, just because they had s..t in their brains, I have to say. That was so unfair!.

I've gotten to hate them, understand them, forgive them, but not tolerate them.

Still I have to go to Yom Kippur this week. My cousins have been moving out from mexico towards the US. I was never too well adjusted to the family of my father and with my cousins living in the states, to tell you the truth I feel whenever I see them its like meeting a new strranger again and again. It sucks, and makes me feel awckward.

I had my bachelorette party saturday and one of the wives of them confirmed she was going to come, well she didn't and she didn't even say she wasn't coming. I think that was rude.

The lame thing is, we are distant and with these changes and lack of interest in getting along with me, of course we are not gonna get along as cousins. And for me, it really IS awckward.

I've tried to mingle, to get along, but I just see the point now because the effort I was putting in mingling and being liked by them was useless because they don't put effort to open up to me and get to know me without prejudice and brain farts.. So, help!

I mean, I did forgive them, although I believe they are not so nice to tell you the truth and it doesn't make me comfortable to be with them because, the family of my father seems shallow, frivolous and very materialistic. They lack a humane, sharing, without prejudice kind of psychology to make me feel good about being there.

I thought maybe it would be me, but I've been finding out now that.. after trying hard, it's not me, it's them who are childish, immature, discriminatory, lame and stupid.

[church9832]

You can't change your family, but you can change how you deal with them.

 

Don't focus on the negativity, they still love you regardless of their views on society and life.

 

That should be enough

 

Remember, you are not what your family defines you. You are what YOU define yourself then stick with it no matter what they say.

[kae]

i think you should do what most families do.. keep your distance and show up when necessary. you sound like a very evolved sensible caring person just keep you cool and dont give into hate..not for them and not to others.

 

But i dont think accpeting hate propaganda for strangers nevermind family is enough. I think you can assert your belief .. put your opinion out there.. and close that book. Dont expect changes .. but be ready to be an example of convictions. I wish you luck and have fun with it you never know your courage might welcomed and respected.. i looooove no matter what. its honourable.

[Sw3etdev1L]

thank you for your advice, its good advice. : )