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Lack of Intimacy with Wife of 5+ Years


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in various ways that once a woman has emotionally checked out of a relationship, she is emotionally gone forever. There is no amount of hugs, kisses, flowers, backrubs, love letters, communication, etc. that can bring her back. Once the emotional tie is totally broken it can never be repaired.

 

These are wise words, Tracy. Broadening your horizons requires trust in your partner. Listen to your instincts, don't do things you are not comfortable with in an effort to save the marriage. Sex is fun, if it's not then don't do it.

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Sex is fun, if it's not then don't do it.

 

Thanks, Meanon. That may just be the most meaningful things I've read all day :D I think I'll quit trying to analyze and fix things, and make that my motto. Kidding of course. But, sometimes it seems we get so tied up in trying to make sense of things that everything points back to the simplest things...

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im just so tired of people talking as if men and women are different species.

if we didnt screw with each others and our childrens brains like we do then this kind of problem would never have become as common as it is today.

try thinking of each other as coming from different cultures and youll see that so

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My solution this whole matter........ (I may get flamed hard for this) send the kids to grandpa and grandmas house for the night (do not let her know that the kids are gone) and send her out for the day (shopping,hair appt.ect...ect...) and when she walks in the door just take charge and take her right ther.... My future hubby did this to me one night and I still get hot and bothered when I think about it...

:love:

 

Good luck....hope this helps is some way........

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im just so tired of people talking as if men and women are different species.

 

I don't speak for everyone, but in my situation it seems that way some times.

 

shortbus74----that sounds GREAT!!! I only wish.... :o

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tracy... I will tell you that when my future hubby just threw me against the wall... :love: it was one of the best experiences I have ever had :love::love:

 

I will hope that you will get to have the experience that I did....... :love:

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  • 4 weeks later...

you said you were in this for 20 years.....and that my *game* was sure relationship disaster to end in divorce. hmm.....I've been together 20 years too, with my relationship my husband is a loner, and likes to be by himself, drinks and watches tv all night (for 20 years), and after all my chores, he thinks I'm going to hop in bed look all prettied up, and *make him a happy man*, when he's just done what I did all day - work, 'cept his work finished once he got home. For me resentment just builds and builds. We kiss once in goodbye (he does), I don't have the feeling, for what?

 

We talk of nothing except work, and SEX. Everytime he calls it's SEX, when, how, why not, etc. If it was good the night before, he'll call all day, wanting to know when we can do it again and again, If he didn't get it the night before, he will call all day to find out when he can get it, and how.........it's driving me up the wall, when we're home and I'm getting ready in the moring, he thinks it's sexy to show me his *stuff* like I have 5 min...hurry up. I feel used, and I don't even find him sexy, it's more irritating, and that's so sad.

 

I think my marriage is on the almost over verge........he's just clinging on, I'm clinging on, but I dont know why. He's hoping theres some spark of love, even thoguh he doesn't do anything to try and gain more love units in there.....

 

You are right.........20 years. That's an awful long time to live with it.

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I have read this whole post and I am going into that 3 yr dip in my relationship and want to head things off before they get too bad.

 

It is hard to maintain passion and an active sexual life with work and kids ect but it does need to be priority.

 

Some things that have helped me is we have a weekly date night drop my daughter off at a sitter and go. We try not to just do movies and dinner then it gets routine and defeats the purpose. Listen to each other and make dates the are fun. Like a walk in the park, going dancing, a moonlight picnic. When people are first dating it's easy to be passionate your are still wooing each other when you get married you stop wooing each other.

 

Date again leave romantic notes write I love you on the bathroom mirror in lipstick. Also I have realized men show thier love in diffent ways. I may want flowers and candels and romance but my bf shows his love by making dinner something I like or taking me out occasionally or just getting my coffee in the am. Or calling me at work to see how I am doing and never stop talking. The best way to intimace is communication. Every night we talk quitley in bed about our day and reconnect. It's the little things

 

I have told him it would be nice to be more romantic. Ladies sometimes you just need to tell you man point blank what you need.

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I will hope that you will get to have the experience that I did.

 

Well, I have experienced it. That's kinda the problem. I want that again and me and H just don't got it. (BTW--it's tracy, i changed my name) :)

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