junior25 Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 my fiance cheated on me we have been together for 8 years she kissed her best friend of 10 years she first told me she had feelings for him now that i said i was willing to work it out she tells me she didnt have feelings for him that she was confused. she swears she is not talking to him no more. which is good. but they used to take a karate class together which is where they kissed she says she realized what she did was wrong immediately but even after she kissed him she kept going back to the class. which makes me wonder if she still wants to be with me if she was really quilty of what she did shouldnt she have quit going to the class when she knew it was wrong? im really confused about the whole thing the guy was also my friend but he dont want to talk to me so i can have his side of the story. can someone give me son light for this dark subject Link to post Share on other sites
StartingAgain Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 All she did was kiss her best friend and you call this cheating? It most assuredly is not. So she was a little confused about how she feels about him. Seems she got that straight and there she is still with you. What do you expect? That's she's going to dump her karate class and her best friend because of a rather trivial indescretion? The karate class didn't do anything wrong. Why do you care about HIS side of the story? You have her side and that's all you should be concerned about. Time to check yyour ego, friend. I have no idea where this idea came from that if you are in a relationship, you may never again have warm feelings for or kiss a member of the opposite sex. But it is absurd. She's known this man longer than she's known you. She probably loves him as a friend. Someone please tell me what's wrong with kissing a friend? And don't go down the road of "it can lead to other things." It can't. Only people can "lead to other things." I have women friends who I kiss on occasion, but I have no diesire to have sex with them. Some of these women I love dearly, but I don't want them romantically. If a would-be SO coun't deal with that, she could not be my SO. I wouldn't live in an emotional prison. Link to post Share on other sites
dudesomewhere Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 hey SA...you have to be more astute I think...it's all relative based on the situation. Not everybody is the same. From some of your posts you have to know this "she tells me she didnt have feelings for him that she was confused." So for this fella and his girl kissing can lead to other things because she was so easily confused by a kiss. His girl at first said she had feelings for this friend...then didn't cuz apparently he's quite the understanding and forgiving guy...so she changes her mind. You have ppl who know what is what and you have people who don't know what the hell they want in life...and many times relationships. Could you imagine how confused she would have been if the guy grabbed her boob? They probably would have had sex! My best friend is female...she's adorable in every way. But I love her as a sister and respect her utterly. With that comes true respect and not selfish respect where I think I do but don't. I will not cross any boundary with her...no slipped kisses. I respect her and any presumed relationships she may have with other males. Only if I am some disrespectful and conniving ass would I try to kiss someone I consider my friend. BTW, I only kiss my SO...kisses are special to me...they are not so meaningless I hand them out willy nilly yeah I'm messin wif ya Link to post Share on other sites
StartingAgain Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 Not everybody is the same. From some of your posts you have to know this You are right, dudesomewhere. But I also know from reading these posts that we've got to a point everyone's thinking and judgement is so clouded and their ideas so childish, that it is impossible to have a good, healthy relationship. I don't do tonsil-tickling kisses wioth my female friends either. Usually a kiss on the cheek, sometime a quick peck on the lips. Not to long ago, a friend who had had too much to drink really laid one on me. She backed off and said "woah! Where'd that come from." I simply said "from the tequila." She laughed. It was no big deal. But what oh what if I had a jealous woman in my life who immediately suspected that I was cheating on her? I'd have a problem that I shouldn't have to deal with. Link to post Share on other sites
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