roshni.agarwal Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 hi... my ex boyfriend with whom i am not in contact from the past 6 weeks.. got fracture in his hands after 6 days of my third time breakup but i didnt call him.... then after some days he got high fever that he had to take leave for few days from his work... now he is not coming in facebook also.. he is not in my account .. i just checked to see his updates.. but nothing from his side.. i am so worried as if what happened ? i know i shouldnt call because he left me so many times but now when i heard from my friend that he is not well i am not able to control myself .. what should i do? Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 what should i do? Continue No Contact. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author roshni.agarwal Posted September 24, 2012 Author Share Posted September 24, 2012 Continue No Contact. Hi thanks for your reply... i am trying my best but its making me feel more bad, i heard No contact will take away the pain now or then.. but i think in my case its going in opposite as i am thinking more and more about my break up only... is there any way i can keep myself from these thoughts? mailing him and ask as what happened.. will it make any change? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
loveunlimited Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 control yourself woman, where's you dignity? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author roshni.agarwal Posted September 24, 2012 Author Share Posted September 24, 2012 control yourself woman, where's you dignity? yeah guess love destroyed my all dignity, strength, positiveness towards life , everything... i become vulnerable... nothing much i lost more.... Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 You should not contact him ever again. More than likely he is fine anyway. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
loveunlimited Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 No, love doesn't do that. Abuse and stupidity does that. You still have your dignity, but you need to dig deep, the good news is, just like a culture, even if you just manage to grab a fragment, by feeding it, it does grow, so grab some now, before you sink into oblivion. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author roshni.agarwal Posted September 24, 2012 Author Share Posted September 24, 2012 You should not contact him ever again. More than likely he is fine anyway. yes Emilia i think he is fine anyway because all the time he use to add more girls on facebook and all so i started thinking as he is like that only who did a great timepass with me but when it came to marriage , he said no You know all the time when we broke up he used to contact me again and as usual i accepted each time, but during last break up six weeks ago i decided not to contact him ever , but now when he met accident so i thought of just ask him, anyways real thanks, yes i am thinking not to mail him... Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 yeah guess love destroyed my all dignity, strength, positiveness towards life , everything... i become vulnerable... nothing much i lost more.... Well, there's no time like the present to start re-establishing them, should you want to. Your choices are to continue in the same vein (having him at the center of your world, and with your emotions dictating your actions) or try something else. The "something else" would be truly recognizing your life is now separate from his. As such, there's no reason to involve yourself and contact him. What you've described doesn't warrant it. When you catch yourself obsessing, turn the focus back on yourself. Surely, there are goals you can be pursuing; relationships you can be nurturing; skills to be acquired and honed. To keep focus on YOUR life may take consistent effort at first, but it will eventually become more natural. Don't let this situation be an excuse to backslide. In the long run, contact will only work against you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author roshni.agarwal Posted September 24, 2012 Author Share Posted September 24, 2012 No, love doesn't do that. Abuse and stupidity does that. You still have your dignity, but you need to dig deep, the good news is, just like a culture, even if you just manage to grab a fragment, by feeding it, it does grow, so grab some now, before you sink into oblivion. sorry dear i dont understand that tough english.... but i understand something like you saying not to loose dignity and hope.. Thanks anyways Link to post Share on other sites
Author roshni.agarwal Posted September 24, 2012 Author Share Posted September 24, 2012 Well, there's no time like the present to start re-establishing them, should you want to. Your choices are to continue in the same vein (having him at the center of your world, and with your emotions dictating your actions) or try something else. The "something else" would be truly recognizing your life is now separate from his. As such, there's no reason to involve yourself and contact him. What you've described doesn't warrant it. When you catch yourself obsessing, turn the focus back on yourself. Surely, there are goals you can be pursuing; relationships you can be nurturing; skills to be acquired and honed. To keep focus on YOUR life may take consistent effort at first, but it will eventually become more natural. Don't let this situation be an excuse to backslide. In the long run, contact will only work against you. Thanks cerridwen! i am trying to pursue my dream, I am talented , intelligent girl , i used to be very strong but after break up i feel lost, there is some hole in chest which saying as if somebody rejected me because i have physical problems... inspite of having everything , knowledge good education, supportive and loving family.. i started losing hope for life... please pray for me that i will overcome this negativity soon... Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 Thanks cerridwen! i am trying to pursue my dream, I am talented , intelligent girl , i used to be very strong but after break up i feel lost, there is some hole in chest which saying as if somebody rejected me because i have physical problems... inspite of having everything , knowledge good education, supportive and loving family.. i started losing hope for life... please pray for me that i will overcome this negativity soon... Thanks Aww, this is all great stuff to hear. So many of us have been where you are now. That's why we're here on LoveShack, after all! And many of us have healed and moved on to good relationships. I'm going to wish the same for you. And of course Ill pray for you! Now, refocus! Life is good! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author roshni.agarwal Posted September 24, 2012 Author Share Posted September 24, 2012 Aww, this is all great stuff to hear. So many of us have been where you are now. That's why we're here on LoveShack, after all! And many of us have healed and moved on to good relationships. I'm going to wish the same for you. And of course Ill pray for you! Now, refocus! Life is good! ya I will try my best.. hopefully thanks!! Link to post Share on other sites
loveunlimited Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 sorry dear i dont understand that tough english.... but i understand something like you saying not to loose dignity and hope.. Thanks anyways be clear, the abuse and stupidity is his not yours. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 please pray for me I just did. Link to post Share on other sites
Chris516 Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 hi... my ex boyfriend with whom i am not in contact from the past 6 weeks.. got fracture in his hands after 6 days of my third time breakup but i didnt call him.... then after some days he got high fever that he had to take leave for few days from his work... now he is not coming in facebook also.. he is not in my account .. i just checked to see his updates.. but nothing from his side.. i am so worried as if what happened ? i know i shouldnt call because he left me so many times but now when i heard from my friend that he is not well i am not able to control myself .. what should i do? Don't call. Link to post Share on other sites
Author roshni.agarwal Posted September 26, 2012 Author Share Posted September 26, 2012 I just did. Thanks!! this is what i need most now... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author roshni.agarwal Posted September 26, 2012 Author Share Posted September 26, 2012 Don't call.[/QUO Hello Chris, As far of now i didnt call him yet, but trust me i am still very worried as what happened to him as m not showing his updates and all in facebook.. generally he used to come but when i heard he is not well and got high fever from that day he is not in online. why m worry so much when he is not there for me? i wish this wont make me more weak to call and ask... but i know i wont do call directly, is there any other way that i can ask as how he is without being known by him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author roshni.agarwal Posted September 26, 2012 Author Share Posted September 26, 2012 be clear, the abuse and stupidity is his not yours. thanks @love unlimited, i wish i wil also get my true love unlimited in my life as well Link to post Share on other sites
Author roshni.agarwal Posted September 26, 2012 Author Share Posted September 26, 2012 Don't call. Hello Chris, As far of now i didnt call him yet, but trust me i am still very worried as what happened to him as m not showing his updates and all in facebook.. generally he used to come but when i heard he is not well and got high fever from that day he is not in online. why m worry so much when he is not there for me? i wish this wont make me more weak to call and ask... but i know i wont do call directly, is there any other way that i can ask as how he is without being known by him? Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 is there any other way that i can ask as how he is without being known by him? No because you need to get used to the idea that this has nothing to do with you anymore. Nothing, nada. sorry but you have to learn to tolerate not knowing and suppressing the desire to know. I mean, if you found out that something serious was wrong, what could you do? Nothing. What should you do? Nothing. So what's the point? Be strong OP 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author roshni.agarwal Posted September 26, 2012 Author Share Posted September 26, 2012 (edited) No because you need to get used to the idea that this has nothing to do with you anymore. Nothing, nada. sorry but you have to learn to tolerate not knowing and suppressing the desire to know. I mean, if you found out that something serious was wrong, what could you do? Nothing. What should you do? Nothing. So what's the point? Be strong OP Thanks Emilia for your reply, you are right , i cannot do anything even if i know his current situation, i will try to remove this obsession of knowing about him... Thanks..! actually i was thinking that if i mail nd call him when he is not well, he will think that i do care, and i still care, even after such a bad rejection by him, see i know everything that he rejected me and all still i am getting mad for him, poor me Edited September 26, 2012 by roshni.agarwal actually i was thinking that if i mail nd call him when he is not well, he will think that i do care, and i still care, Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 Focus on something else for the time being. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 Thanks Emilia for your reply, you are right , i cannot do anything even if i know his current situation, i will try to remove this obsession of knowing about him... Thanks..! actually i was thinking that if i mail nd call him when he is not well, he will think that i do care, and i still care, even after such a bad rejection by him, see i know everything that he rejected me and all still i am getting mad for him, poor me Take that caring, Roshni, and apply it to yourself. See yourself as deserving of it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 actually i was thinking that if i mail nd call him when he is not well, he will think that i do care, and i still care, even after such a bad rejection by him, see i know everything that he rejected me and all still i am getting mad for him, poor me Doesn't matter to him, does it? He rejected you and knowing you care isn't going to change anything, is it? Leave it be and re-direct your energies elsewhere. There is nothing you can do if he is hurt and if he is not, you'll just have re-opened your own wound. Don't call. Don't write. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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