trust being tested, husband may be cheating

[livelifelove]

2 yrs ago my husband child's mother claimed they were still dealing with each other on a on-going basis. She came off as the bitter BM at first then she tried to say she was doing this and telling me these things women to women to help me. My husband denied everything even sitting in front of me and her denied everything that she has said. She also apologized for causing issues but never said the things she said were not true. Things went back to normal until last night. She called to talk about some things for the child but somehow began a conversation about my husband still wanting to get with her. Claiming that he has tried to get with her but because she has got to know me she has pushed him off, but in this same conversation she says she was still having sex with him for a year after everything happened before. She said sorry to me again because he is married and she should not be doing this. She claimed to me that she has not had sex with him for a year now but they have had sexual conversations and video calls. She claims that before he was telling her that he was going to leave to me to be with her and that now she realizes that he's not leaving me. She said sorry because she knows what she did was wrong but started the woman to woman stuff that I can do better then him because he is a manipulating liar. He denies everything she has said, using time that he is video calling daughter to say its with her, using times he has went to see his daughter to say it was to see her. She has not shown me any proof about any of these things that she is claiming. As my husband he is whom I should trust but this is becoming really overwhelming.

[Leelou]

She has no reason to lie to you about this, apart from the fact that she may still WANT him back so she may reason by telling you the Truth, you may release the guy, so she can get him for herself.

 

Your husband has a reason to be lying if what she is saying is the Truth... he doesn't want to lose you, so he is lying to cover his ass.

 

Ask her to send you proof. Ask her to tape him talking to her. Then you will have undeniable proof.

 

Liars lie. It is very probably that he is still pursuing her.

 

What will you do?

[BetrayedH]

After having been here a long time, her story rings true to me except the part where there is no proof. If they have had an affair of this length, she has plenty of proof. Ask her for it. Let us know her response.

[Owl]

Is your H's computer a 'joint asset"? I'd suggest that you lock it down with a password of your own that he couldn't guess, and spend some time going through the history, the cookies, the downloaded files, etc...

 

Odds are, unless he's a genius, there'll be tracks on the computer from his interactions with her.

 

If you find nothing, take it to someone who IS a computer genius. Friend of yours, family, or if need be see if you can get someone from a computer store to look at it to see what they can find.

 

Given what she's described, unless he's reformatted his drive, there'll be something there.

 

While you're at it...borrow his cell phone, and look through it as well. Don't just glance at the names and numbers, but look at the pics, downloaded files, etc...

 

Again...I suspect you'll find whatever evidence you need between these two sources.

[BetrayedH]

For the time being, I would keep this on the down-low with your husband. If he has anything to hide, he'll be destroying the evidence as soon as you suspect anything. Starting making decisions with your head, not with your heart. Even after you "know," you may very well want more cold-hard evidence that can't be denied so resist those early temptations to confront him.