Your thoughts on telephone calls

[JimmyMan]

Don't know whether this is the right place to post this, as it's not really a long distance relationship PER SE. My girlfriend has only been gone a month, and will be back home to me in the next two. She's doing a summer camp in another country.

 

I'm probably overreacting but this is how it is:

 

Before she went, she couldn't bare to be without me for more than a day, and even if she was, she would send me a text message or give me a call. Sounds weird to say it but I could never get rid of her, (not that I wanted to) and we've already moved in together. She loves me and I believe her when she says it. I'm usually quite a confident person, but I'm on two minds now that she's away.

 

She's in a summer camp, you know those things in the middle of nowhere cut off from the rest of the world, with a single telephone and a beat up computer with a very slow dial-up internet connection (I know this because I've been to one similar before to work in the summer). She gets a full day off once a week, its hard work, I know. She manages to check her e-mail once a week, and sends me quite a lot of letters with the usual international delay of a week. The e-mails are quick and to the point formally, but the letters are more in depth, and she shares her thoughts about herself and the people she hangs round with.

 

The thing that bothers me is that she doesn't phone me much, and when she does it's only for about 5 minutes. I learn nothing of her, its a kind of "hi and goodbye" thing. It drives me crazy. She's already stated to me that she doesn't like to hear my voice over the phone because it makes her miss me more being able to hear me but not actually see me. That's something I've not experienced before. With my former girlfriends, if I was away at College, they would jump at the chance to speak to me, and it would be me that would have to say "hang on, we've been talking for about an hour now,"

 

Anyway, my main question is if anybody else has been in similar shoes to me before, or are there any ladies out there who are similar in mind to my girl, in terms of not liking to phone as they find it too upsetting. Have I all of a sudden changed into a soft soppy oversensitive bloke who has finally found a girl who he loves so much. Or have I got a reason for concern in this?

 

Cheers,

 

Jim

[Olivia_19742004]

Seems a little overly cautious that you're worried that she's not spending enough time on the phone with you, but still writes long letters and sends you emails. Maybe she doesn't have any privacy when she's talking on the phone? If that's the only thing that's different about her I wouldn't worry too much about it.

[Candied-Heart]

I agree. If you are concerned about the lack of phone time you can always tell her, in a nice way of course. Though - if she's already said she is uncomfortable as it makes her miss you, then accept her reason, no matter how 'different' it is to other loves from the past and take comfort in knowing she's still writing those long letters and taking the time to send them to you and be so open, I agree with the above poster, in that having no privacy would explain her short conversations both online and on phone. Hence the lovely letters!

[EC]

AWEEEEEEEEE You really like this one huh?

 

It happened to me. My bf was sooo used to having girls jump at the chance of talking to him and he would always have to be the one to hang up on them. Then he met me...lol

 

First of all I'm not much of a person and when I was out of town it hurt me sooo much to hear his voice and not be able to be with him and cuddle and kiss and smell him lol that I kept it short...but I made sure I showed him how much I missed him with little text messages and letters and e-mails.

 

You have nothing to worry about...If she acts different when she returns then you have a problem. But for now don't worry and enjoy all you can out of those 5 min convos.

[Adunaphel]

The thing that bothers me is that she doesn't phone me much, and when she does it's only for about 5 minutes

 

I don't think you have any reasons to be concerned. You put more effort and time in writing a letter than in making a phone call.

And you are getting emails AND letters AND phone calls

 

Personally I hate talking on the phone using public telephones. I don't know why, I could stay hours on the phone when I'm at home but I tend to keep it very short on public phones.

And I think that Olivia and Candied Heart are right about the lack of privacy factor.

 

Also, which country is she in?

Once when I was abroad I spent around 30$ for a phone call that was less than 15 minutes long.

Calls abroad are generally expensive, but from some countries they are more expensive than from others.

[JimmyMan]

Thanks for the replies, much appreciated. I suppose I knew I was just being silly.

 

Maybe I just needed to hear it!

 

To answer the questions, She's currently in the US, I'm from Sunny England. And yes a really do like this one, "Awwwww".

 

Once again thanks,

 

Jim

[whispering_willoww]

Honestly, having survived (and i mean survived) a 2 month LDR (we've been together longer but he moved) I know the meaning of communication. When u are used to seeing that person or talking to them alot just one missed conversation can make u feel like u are losing a lot. My BF tells me he is not one to really talk on the phone a lot, his mom tells me that too, but i need to feel that contact or connection in one way or the other. I know how you feel. i can't figure out if he doesn't talk long or much because he misses me too much or is having too much fun without me. it definately is stressful. good luck and hang in there. LDR's are no fun at all, but if you really love them u have to put yourself and your feelings out on the line.