snapok Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 i've been living with my stepfather for about 3 years now. And we all hate him, i mean my mom and me, we just cant stand him. Hes such a loser. We just moved to las vegas and its very hard to find a job. He found one a month ago and you know what he did? he told us that he was fired, but my mom didnt believe him, she went and talked to his boss, and he said that he was surprised that Michael(my stepfather) quit. He lied to us and to his boss. ANd it was such a good job with full benefits and good pay. ANd do you know why he left? Because he wanted to be up my mom's ass every minute. He admitted that after a day of fighting and screaming and yelling. My mom and him fight every day, literally every day. I cant take this stress any longer. I dont know what to do. ANd now, he finally found another job, but now he has to make car payments and he cant. He doesnt have any money. SO his mother who also lives with us was calling some of her friends and asking for a loan. I listened to the conversations, i know its wrong but i did. And she was talking shi-t about my mom, her friends were too. She never said anything about what a loser her son is, she made it up to look like hes hard working and not lazy and my mom is a bitch. How can i deal with this? SHould i say something because i am boiling inside and i am very mad. Nobody talks about my mom like that. Its just pisses me off how Helen(my stepgrandmother) makes her son look so good and angelic when he is not. He didnt even mention all the gambling problems he had, he lost 2000 dollars one time, there was such a big fight involving police and everything. Now, i work, but do you think it is right for me not to loan any money to him? because i wont, i am not going to support his ass, i work for my college. I wish we could live but we have no place to go, we are immigrants, we dont have anybody here except each other. SO we have to take his shi-t, thank god hes not violent. Plus he acts like a woman most of the time. He cries so much, and i dont mean cries, i mean hes hysterical and acts like a friggin idiot. I've never seen a man cry so much and so loudly. Tell me what should i do? It seems as i dont have any choices right now but to work and take his crap. Everytime my mom argues with him(and its very loud, neighbors called the police once) he always throws us out, he tells us to go live somewhere else. ANd then my mom gets violent with him. He throws everything on him, glass, keys, remote control. EVerything. I am honestly sick of this life already. Link to post Share on other sites
StartingAgain Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 You are in an awful situation and somehow, you have to get out of if. You say you are immigrants. Are you registered permenent aliens? You say you work. Does your mom also work? I've you have permenent status, maybe you and your mom could leave and make it on your own. I hear how concerned you are for your mother and this stress is taking a toll on you. Your mother's husband sounds like a very sick man. I don't think that you should tell your mom about the conversation you overheard. It'll only make matters weorse and she probably already knows anyway. Is there a priest or rabbi you can talk to for advice? Maybe talk to someone at one of the local women's shelter. You continue to be a good son. Your mother needs you. She needs for you to be strong. You have to help get her out of this situation. Hopefully someone will come on here and be able to give you better advice than I have to offer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author snapok Posted July 25, 2004 Author Share Posted July 25, 2004 your advice is really helpful. But yes, we have residents, but we still wont make it on our own. My mom doesnt work, because she has to drive me everywhere, i am pretty busy. I work, i volunteer and i also have a social life. But i am afraid to drive, i dont think i can make it. I dont know of any shelters here, and honestly i dont want to live in a shelter Link to post Share on other sites
StartingAgain Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 I wasn't suggesting that you live in a shelter, but there are experts there who could help. You probably wouldn't be allowed to stay in a woman's shelter anyway. But maybe there's a friend cyou could stay with for a short amount of time and your mother could live in the shelter until the two of you can get on your feet? Ask yourself which is the worst of two choices: what I have suggested or staying in the situation you are currently in? Sometimes a man has to make hard choices and none of his options are pleasant. but being a man means that You do what you have to do and make the best choice from among your available options. You just have to suck up and do it. For the sake of your mother and your own well being, you are going to have to overcome your fears. Your stepfather isn't being a man, so you are going to have to do it. There is certainly public transportation in Las Vegas. Make use of it so that your mother can go to work. Show your mother that her husband may not be a man, but her son certainly is. She's the only mother you will ever have. She brought you into this world and took care of you. It's now time to do something for her. You may have to curtail your social life for a bit. Don't you dare be a burden to your mother just now. She has enough to deal with. Sometimes, my young friend, life throws us a cuver ball, and we have to grow up faster than we'd want. Where are you from? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 Most folks from other nations have clubs, societies, or associations for folks from their countries. Most faiths have charitable organizations that also help people in need. There are also immigrant aid programs and societies. Here's a list of assistance programs available from the State of Nevada http://welfare.state.nv.us/elig_pay/fs_faq.htm how Helen(my stepgrandmother) makes her son look so good and angelic when he is not Some mothers think their kids are angels, no matter what age they are. Don't be too mad at her. Link to post Share on other sites
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