CarrieT Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 Yes, I live in the Napa valley - food and wine mecca, full of amazing eateries, wineries, and the like. It is a place of celebrity chefs, wanna-be celebrity chefs, and paparazzi for celebrity chefs. I know some. I've dined with him, worked for them, and hob-nobbed in the same industry that boasts inflated egos and thousands of pounds of cookbooks amongst them. Because of it, I have had friends and acquaintances over the years ask to be a house guest in my home. I am a great hostess. I have a lovely guest room and am always accommodating whenever I can to visiting tourists. Several years ago, I made the acquaintance of a young man who had started a food-and-wine blog and we had a lot of mutual friends. When he traveled to the Bay Area, I always offered him my hospitality and, on several occasions, he accepted. I always said he should come back and fully explore the Napa valley to the fullest and not just for one day here or one day there. Well, now his blog has taken off and he is here - staying a local 4-star resort - but has not bothered to even say hello. I don't expect him to invite me to dinner with the celebrity chefs he is now working with (as a photographer), but considering the number of meals we have had together over the past decade, I'm just disappointed he doesn't even acknowledge that he is in my 'hood with a "Hello, sorry I can't see you this trip..." Rant over. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 IME, each of us responds differently to increases in 'popularity' and/or 'fame', as I'm sure you've seen in your profession over the years. It sounds like this guy is riding the rail and simply has forgotten the value of some of the stops along the way. What such interactions have taught me over the decades is to greatly value those people who remember the stops and respect the little gifts of life they have received along the way, and to do so myself. My question would be, historically, would you consider this person to be a friend or business associate/colleague/contact, etc.? I know we each have different definitions of friends so that's why I'm asking. It's possible to entertain business associates in a way which might blur the line between business and personal relations. I've had the experience you're speaking of and with people whom I definitely considered to be friends. Historically, I don't dwell too much on such occurrences and rather interact with such people as I see to be mutually beneficial. Such actions do generally exclude them from my close circle of friends, regardless of their general popularity. His loss. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CarrieT Posted September 26, 2012 Author Share Posted September 26, 2012 Thanks, Carhill. I would have thought a friend but perhaps, now, barely a colleague. I dropped him a line, inviting him to breakfast or a cocktail (neither of which should take too much time if he is swamped with lunches and dinners). I'll see if he responds and if he doesn't, will brush it off fairly quickly. I'm just one of those people who has cultivated and maintained friendships over the years and work hard to not let them slip by the wayside when life presents changes. Link to post Share on other sites
kerme Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 You posted in "friends and lovers". Were you by chance hoping for something more than friendship? Or just friends at least? Link to post Share on other sites
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