My boyfriend thinks I cheated..

[Cb3657]

Op ok sounds like its all settled, good for you, I have made many mistakes in my past and I feel for you. Hope it all works out long term. I agree that finding boundaries can often be trial an error so now you found one. It just felt like you were feeling bad about not being supported on the "I did nothing wrong front" sounds like you do understand that this was a boundary and you bf was humiliated. So on that note good on ya too

Edited September 30, 2012 by Cb3657

[Imported]

Yes but see, there is no need to tell him because she did it right in front of him, not secretly behind his back. She was in public, in front of a bunch of people...not trying to hide anything from him. And she DID apologize immediately (did you read the OP?). I'm not saying she should bail for his jealousy, I'm just saying that he overreacted. I'm not saying that she should keep on doing things like this. Obviously if it makes him uncomfortable, she should apologize and stop. Which is exactly what she did, yet he was STILL angry about it. That is what makes me think that he overreacted and that is what I would have a problem with if I were here. Regardless, it sounds like he has admitted that he overreacted so they have solved their problem.

 

And no...despite what you might think, I don't have a problem with cheating.

 

They got a name for a guy that wouldn't have a problem seeing his girlfriend/wife under the blanket with another man (seperate seat or not)...."cuckold". All other guys would have a problem with this, regardless of what you think. It is not about what you would think if you saw your boyfriend under a blanket with a random girl.

 

Next time you are at a party with your boyfriend, assuming you have one, strike up a conversation with an attractive looking guy. Not the big fat slob or the tiny geeky looking punk, but an attractive guy that your boyfriend would consider competition. Go outside with that guy where you can talk alone, then get under a blanket with him. If your boyfriend were to finally figure out where you disappeared to and walk in on you like this, do you really think that it's going to go over well with him? Assuming he isn't a cuckold and wanted to video tape you with the guy that is. Don't ask your boyfriend what he thinks he'd do if it happened, actually put him through it by surprise. See how well that works out.

 

I'd lay down heavy odds that if you did and you actually responded to your boyfriend the way you're telling the OP, you'd be looking for a new boyfriend.

Edited October 1, 2012 by Imported

[curiouslyhuman]

Please for the sake of your relationship don't tie together with the other poster and do what girls do best and try to turn what appears to be a very sketchy situation into "he is overreacting."

 

 

You can play up the two chair thing all you want but honestly I am reading your story from your pov and Im having trouble believing that this was all very innocent.

 

At the very least you can admit that the other guy seems to have had the vibe that you were into him.

 

If you really weren't doing anything than let that be known but try to understand that your bf thinks you were cheating for a reason and Im willing to bet that other people there thought the same.

 

This.

 

Any solid and stable relationship can be rattled by misinterpretation, the more subtile, the easier it is to overlook. But being at a party and having my significant other chat up a storm all night and end up under a blanket alone outside with that very person would definately set an alarm off that something here isnt kosher.

 

I dont think its completely detrimental to your relationship but flags have been raised about your trustworthiness towards the opposite sex. I call bad move.

[nofool4u]

He was giving me the cold shoulder, so I ended up sitting on the couch by myself and the other guy came and sat on a chair near me and gave me his number (which I threw out).

 

Why did you take it in the first place?

 

 

So, now my boyfriend has been ignoring me and is convinced that we were touching each other under the covers which we weren't!

 

Under covers? On a couch??

 

 

In our whole relationship I have been what I consider to be a great girlfriend. I am not a party girl, I help take care of his daughter, I work for him, I listen to him and we encourage each other. I love him and I made a mistake. What do I do?

 

I'm confused. You made what mistake? You said that you can't blame your bf for being mad, so you must not be telling us the whole story here.

 

 

I feel terribly, that I've embarrassed him and hurt him and that I broke his trust.

 

Again, you aren't making sense. What did you do to embarrass and hurt him?

[nofool4u]

I think your boyfriend is an idiot. You didn't do anything wrong.

 

Then why does she feel guilty, say she embarrassed him and hurt him, and says she can't blame him for being mad?

 

She wasn't playing touchy feely, she was sitting in a completely different chair!

 

Then why was she under covers with him?

[nofool4u]

Yes but see, there is no need to tell him because she did it right in front of him, not secretly behind his back. She was in public, in front of a bunch of people...not trying to hide anything from him. And she DID apologize immediately (did you read the OP?).

 

I thought you said she didn't do anything.

[Onionator]

Mycteria, he can't help but feel like he has been betrayed. Jealousy and a feeling of betrayal are not voluntary feelings. It would be great if I could simply choose not to be jealous every time I am, I feel like I would be a better person and my relationship would be better. However this uncontrollable brutal feeling (which not all people experience) is something that many people wish they didn't feel.

 

To the OP your best bet is to give him some space right now, don't be too defensive about it because what you did WAS inappropriate. Your best bet would be to give him a day or two to get over it and if he can't tell him it's time to choose whether or not this incident will end your relationship. If he loves you, he WILL be able to get over it and he will stay with you.

[charasbb]

Wow, people are still commenting on this!

The reason I was feeling guilty was because though at the time I did not think think I was doing anything wrong, but I realized that what I had done had crossed a line and that my boyfriend was hurt. We were not chatting all night,just a for a little bit, I was with my bf most of the night. We were not snuggled up in each others arms on a couch, as I said it was a GIANT (think king sized) comforter and we were on two separate chairs which had a nice meter or so between them. My bf was nice enough to forgive my transgression and I will not be giving him a reason to regret this decision.

[MichiganMan222]

Outstanding. Sounds like it played out perfectly.

 

He was rightfully pissed off

You correctly apologized

He appropriately forgave you

Now you two will deservingly live happily ever after.

 

Reminds me of something my marriage counselor told me years ago in a previous marriage. As innocent as they may be with no malicious intent whatsoever, even the APPEARANCE of improprieties are disrespectful and potentially damaging to a relationship.

[nofool4u]

Wow, people are still commenting on this!

The reason I was feeling guilty was because though at the time I did not think think I was doing anything wrong, but I realized that what I had done had crossed a line and that my boyfriend was hurt. We were not chatting all night,just a for a little bit, I was with my bf most of the night. We were not snuggled up in each others arms on a couch, as I said it was a GIANT (think king sized) comforter and we were on two separate chairs which had a nice meter or so between them. My bf was nice enough to forgive my transgression and I will not be giving him a reason to regret this decision.

 

Ok then, case closed. Its on him now