Why didn't she wear sexy underwear for me?

[paperboy48]

My ex-wife and I were together for sixteen years. We split up this past January, her decision.When I was moving some of my stuff out of our house, I sneaked a peek in her underwear drawer. I know it’s wasn’t the greatest thing to have done but it is what it is...

 

She had probably 9-10 lacy thongs some of which were red and black (my favorite lingerie colors). My wife hardly ever wore granny panties (for the most part) but she never wore underwear like these for me except for maybe once or twice in the beginning of our R..

 

I found these this past spring and it still bothers me…why s she wearing lacy things for him and she never did for me.

 

She is in her mid-thirties and we have two kids...

[Chi townD]

To be painfully blunt; probably because he asked her to and she aims to please....just not you.

 

Now, you need to go find you a girl that will wear that stuff for you!

[carhill]

This kind of stuff will drive one crazy.

 

Better to let it go, IMO. FWIW, I had a lot of unanswered questions post-D and finally decided to just let them go. Life is an order of magnitude better now.

 

My sympathies.

[Million.to.1]

... As a woman, i will explain.

 

Sexy undies is not something we wear everyday. We put them on when we KNOW they will be noticed and seen and get a reaction.

 

She wears them for him because he likes it. She feels a renewed sexual energy receiving attention from a new partner that finds her exciting.

 

If you never asked her or showed her how much you liked sexy undies, then it's understandable that she never wore them.

[Calico]

When I was moving some of my stuff out of our house, I sneaked a peek in her underwear drawer.

 

This is becoming an obsession for you and you really need to step away from this before it becomes unhealthier than it already is.

 

Sorry for the bluntness here.

[paperboy48]

... As a woman, i will explain.

 

Sexy undies is not something we wear everyday. We put them on when we KNOW they will be noticed and seen and get a reaction.

 

She wears them for him because he likes it. She feels a renewed sexual energy receiving attention from a new partner that finds her exciting.

 

If you never asked her or showed her how much you liked sexy undies, then it's understandable that she never wore them.

 

That helps...thanks.

 

I wish there was one of these emoticons on the right side of the page that shows me kicking myself.

 

I should have asked her and I didn't...your right. I guess I wanted her to do it without me asking.

[Million.to.1]

Well, you'll know to express your fondness for lingerie with the next lucky lady right?

 

You don't needs to "ask" - you could buy them as a gift, or just express your appreciation when she does wear them. If she knows you like it, she will do it more.

 

I have an AMAZING underwear collection. My ex never took any notice, never made a comment or even looked, and more often than not we would undress ourselves like and old married couple and get into bed. It bored me to tears.

 

I will make a huge effort if i know it's appreciated.

[paperboy48]

Well, you'll know to express your fondness for lingerie with the next lucky lady right?

 

Right...

 

You don't needs to "ask" - you could buy them as a gift, or just express your appreciation when she does wear them. If she knows you like it, she will do it more.

 

I have an AMAZING underwear collection. My ex never took any notice, never made a comment or even looked, and more often than not we would undress ourselves like and old married couple and get into bed. It bored me to tears.

 

I will make a huge effort if i know it's appreciated.

 

When she did wear some lingere for me (rare) I always expressed my liking of it. I just never told her "I would like to see you wear thongs".

 

Its a jealousy thing... I just wish I had experienced what he is now.

[sweetheart5381]

Well, you'll know to express your fondness for lingerie with the next lucky lady right?

 

You don't needs to "ask" - you could buy them as a gift, or just express your appreciation when she does wear them. If she knows you like it, she will do it more.

 

I have an AMAZING underwear collection. My ex never took any notice, never made a comment or even looked, and more often than not we would undress ourselves like and old married couple and get into bed. It bored me to tears.

 

I will make a huge effort if i know it's appreciated.

 

Agreed

 

I have a huge panty and lingerie collection and yes, women like encouragement to wear it.

 

If we feel good, we will make our guy feel good, trust me

[sweetheart5381]

Right...

 

 

 

When she did wear some lingere for me (rare) I always expressed my liking of it. I just never told her "I would like to see you wear thongs".

 

Its a jealousy thing... I just wish I had experienced what he is now.

 

It's always tempting to look back at your past relationship and rate it against a present relationship, whether it's your own or your ex's. Bottom line is that they are not related at all, in any way.

 

Seems to me that you seem to still feel a sense of "entitlement" when in fact you are not "entitled" to anything and never were. Her past choices in clothing are not a reflection of you, or of a lack of desire for you.

 

Seeing what is in her "top drawer" doesn't change a thing, and hopefully doesn't bring you down too much. It's not as though she flaunted what she chooses to buy now in front of you. Not to be harsh here, but that was an invasion of privacy on your part OP.

[suladas]

Well, you'll know to express your fondness for lingerie with the next lucky lady right?

 

You don't needs to "ask" - you could buy them as a gift, or just express your appreciation when she does wear them. If she knows you like it, she will do it more.

 

I have an AMAZING underwear collection. My ex never took any notice, never made a comment or even looked, and more often than not we would undress ourselves like and old married couple and get into bed. It bored me to tears.

 

I will make a huge effort if i know it's appreciated.

 

That is so boring. It doesn't even need to be sexy underwear. My ex bought a pair of hello kitty silk shorts, they were so hot. And taking off your own clothes is lame, I have yet to ever do that. Making out and removing the other persons clothes is half the fun...... Already being naked is boring.

[sweetheart5381]

That is so boring. It doesn't even need to be sexy underwear. My ex bought a pair of hello kitty silk shorts, they were so hot. And taking off your own clothes is lame, I have yet to ever do that. Making out and removing the other persons clothes is half the fun...... Already being naked is boring.

 

Agreed My guy and I tend to make out and leave a little something on me, something silky and soft. It can be removed if needed

 

It's nice to have a lil decoration on the package

[g450]

Good God why torture yourself?

 

I had a similar experience. XW always wore granny panties our entire marriage and hated dressing up for me when I asked her too.

 

After the divorce I was at her house helping my Son with something and I used the bathroom there. My Son actually owned the house at that time. What do I see on the floor? Lacy panties and black stockings. Wow! And this after her telling me there was no OM. Tore me up to think who she was wearing that for but I put it out of my mind.

 

Just let it go.

 

Luckily my new wife loves to dress up for me. Sometimes 2nd marriages really are better.

[Mike_d]

It's nice to have a lil decoration on the package

 

... that looks great on the floor later

[NoMoreJerks]

You don't know that she wears them for him either.

 

I have some sexy underwear, garter belt and all, and I never managed to wear it , because I can't wear that stuff during the day, and our sex was very spontaneous, so it's not like I could've picked up my sexy undies from a bag, run to the bathroom (at his place!), put them on, and come back out... it's awkward. Maybe that's why she never did that. That's why *I* never did that with my ex, not because I didn't aim to please him, or because I didn't like him much.