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Why some women ask 'how long since you had sex' when first start dating?

questionlife

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questionlife

questionlife

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I was just wondering why some women ask 'how long since you've had sex' when you first start dating (...usually just before you're going to have sex for the first time! :)

 

It's happened to me a few times and I am always just curious what they are hoping to hear or find out by asking...

 

cheers :)

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taiko

taiko

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Because they have their own internal calender of what is an acceptable range. Too soon and you are just using her, too long in the past and something is wrong with you that you couldn't get a girl and what makes you think that she is so easy that she will be the one to crack. And no you can not predict what the sweet spot in that range is.

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questionlife

questionlife

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Jeez. I would never ask that! Are we talking first few dates here?

 

Not necessarily on the first date (although it has happened! :) but usually just before we are going to have sex for the first time...

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TG1

TG1

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The reason why I think they ask that is because they wanna know just how many women you have been with, that way they know if they really want to be with you because if they are less experienced, they might be intimidated

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xxoo

xxoo

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What do you think the 'acceptable' time frame range is? :)

 

Nothing too exact. "Before we started dating" should be vague yet reassuring, if it is true. But don't lie!

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Balzac

Balzac

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I think it all depends on the exclusivity agreement. I think a guy who has been having ONS is under no obligation to answer anything until after an exclusivity contract is agreed. Yeah, call me a dirt bag.

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sweetheart5381

sweetheart5381

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Funny, men have posed the same question to me a few times too and I wondered why they asked that. I suppose I guessed that they were sexually active like me... I don't like to be questioned and try not to question a man either. Private is private.

 

I actually never really cared when the last time someone had sex was... I just assumed if they wanted to have sex with me, we were "even Steven" so to speak and mutually agreeable, no questions needed.

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questionlife

questionlife

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Funny, men have posed the same question to me a few times too and I wondered why they asked that. I suppose I guessed that they were sexually active like me... I don't like to be questioned and try not to question a man either. Private is private.

 

I actually never really cared when the last time someone had sex was... I just assumed if they wanted to have sex with me, we were "even Steven" so to speak and mutually agreeable, no questions needed.

 

Same here... I never ask about past partners unless they volunteer the experiences/information first, and then it's fair game!

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sweetheart5381

sweetheart5381

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I do agree that some women want to gauge a man (and vice-versa) on past experiences. If he is really, seriously experienced you tend to wonder if he is a player, just looking for a screw. Women are familiar with that treatment.

 

I also know men that feel less experienced than me, they generally find out after fooling around a bit with me and they realize that I have some "experience". If its a turn-off its their loss. I aim to please, whatever the situation :)

 

Bottom line, if someone asks this, they are wondering if you are still gonna be around tomorrow (aka, a relationship, rather than a ONS). Doesn't mean marriage and kids, just means that they are deciding if you are worth getting emotionally involved with.

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questionlife

questionlife

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Bottom line, if someone asks this, they are wondering if you are still gonna be around tomorrow (aka, a relationship, rather than a ONS). Doesn't mean marriage and kids, just means that they are deciding if you are worth getting emotionally involved with.

 

Ah, I see... I thought it might have been to find out how 'horny' or 'desperate' I might be! lol :)

 

That makes much more sense, thanks :)

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Charlie Harper

Charlie Harper

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Weird no one has said the real reason:

 

If a woman asks its because they want to gauge if their sex partner has had a dry spell as long as they (being 3 days or 3 years, it doesn't matter), OR AND they want to know if they are going to withhold some action because lets be honest, most guys freak out when a woman takes command and goes kinky/wild/exotic on the first encounter. So they need the info as assurance.

 

If GUY asks its a bad sign, because it implies we want to know how often a woman has partners hence gauge her as a potential partner and not a "easy" woman (to say it in a nice manner )

 

Yep I know its sexist and maybe not politically correct but thats the way it goes.

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fishtaco

fishtaco

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Are you going to help me reset that timer? (with mischievous grin)

 

If a woman brings up anything about sex, then it's time to make your move.

 

Then these are usually the possible out comes:

 

1) She plays along. Now you get do pull out your best sex banter. That should heat things up.

 

2) She doesn't want to go there yet. That's fine, but then you've also just side stepped that question. She should also get the hint that she shouldn't be asking sex related questions unless she's ready for it.

 

3) She flips out. So she gets to ask personal questions like that, but gets offended when YOU get personal? Run away. This one is cray. Sex with a psycho chick is arguably worth it ONLY when it's easy to get. Even then often you'll regret it. If you have to work for it on top of that? Hell no. Be like Neo in The Matrix and dodge them bullets.

 

Win - win - win situation.

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carhill

carhill

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I've never been asked that question.

 

I would presume it's asked as an indicator of how aggressively the lady will need to fend off the sexual advances of the male, relevant to his level of sexual frustration/blue balls/incel. The longer he's been denied, the bigger the gun she'll need ;)

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ja123

ja123

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If a woman asks its because they want to gauge if their sex partner has had a dry spell as long as they (being 3 days or 3 years, it doesn't matter), OR AND they want to know if they are going to withhold some action because lets be honest, most guys freak out when a woman takes command and goes kinky/wild/exotic on the first encounter. So they need the info as assurance.

 

^^^^This^^^^

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questionlife

questionlife

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Charlie Harperviewpost.gif

If a woman asks its because they want to gauge if their sex partner has had a dry spell as long as they (being 3 days or 3 years, it doesn't matter), OR AND they want to know if they are going to withhold some action because lets be honest, most guys freak out when a woman takes command and goes kinky/wild/exotic on the first encounter. So they need the info as assurance.

^^^^This^^^^

 

What if the guy 'goes kinky/wild/exotic on the first encounter'?!? :)

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veggirl

veggirl

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who asks that?! First of all, who knows if you can trust the answer and second of all, what a loaded question! They are asking, as someone said, to see if you are in an "acceptable range". They don't want you to have been fking another girl last week but don't want to think you are so "undesirable" you go years without.

 

I would probably give a vague "oh, last time was a couple months before I met you, I think" then it sounds like the previous partner was long enough back to not be a current threat (oh, that's another reason they are asking!) but not so far back that you look like you can't get laid.

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jcrew11

jcrew11

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Its a simple answer:

She does not want to be a one night stand and is determining how promiscuous the guy is, and if he is a cheater, pick-up artist, or diseased loser.

 

Its best to lie and say something like "couple of months since my last long term girlfriend" - therefore she knows you are mentally stable and moral enough to have a long term relationship, but you are completely single and over your ex, and free to get into a relationship with a new girl.

 

A lot of girls don't want to date sketchy promiscuous STD men, so they test them to make sure they are responsible monogamous.

 

Obviously if the guy answers: that he had sex last week with several other women he is dating online, then that is a red flag, that he might not be boyfriend material, and should get STD tests.

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kiss_andmakeup

kiss_andmakeup

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I still remember the first time I had sex with my BF, things were getting hot and heavy in his bedroom and we realized it was gonna happen...and he had to run into the other room (his office I think!) to get a condom! I was jokingly like, "Um, don't most people keep those in the bedroom?" and he was like "Yeah, they were in the reserves...it's been a while..." I thought that was kinda cute. But I never would have asked him straight up how long since he'd had sex.

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