false or true confession?????

[jetset]

Well it goes like this>>My wife had a co-worker who she always talked about when she got home from work,things like he is good looking and a fun person.This went on for a few weeks until I said never mention that persons name in this house again. The mans kids went to the same school as mine and she introduced me to him. I shaked his hand and to be honest he seemed like a alright person. Every time the males wife went to pick her/his kids up my wife used to remark "bitch" under her breath, I asked her why she is saying this and she said that she is a nasty person. 8 yrs went by and I thought nothing of it.Since then the male has left the company they both worked for and set up his own buisness.

A few months ago I thought about what a gullible person that I must have been not to suspect anything then. I spoke to my wife and asked her if she had been faithful to me at all times since our 13 years of marrige (tubulent at times), she said yes always. To get her to confess I made out that I had not been, but quickly said I was lying and wanted to see her reaction (i have always been faithful).

I kept on asking her, finally she said that she had been unfaithfull 4 times with the said person, naturally I cracked up. She said she is sorry for what she has done and there is nothing that she can do now its too late. Next day she phoned me up to say that she is not playing this prank anymore and that she has had enough, nothing took place. I went back to her.

Last week a friend of mine who knows the male said that he had been caught by his wife for cheating on her, and he has a long history of cheating on her.

I went back home and told my wife that I met this male she used to know and that he said that he did have sex with my wife,never met him really. I told my wife that I would not say anything,she said well ok yes she did have sex with him. I went mad again, 3 days later after talking to her sister she said to me she was fed up with the questioning and lied to piss me off.

In the past my wife used to say ,if you do not get on well with your husband its ok to cheat!!!!

I love my wife but do not know what to do now, either I have pissed her off so much or she has cheated.

I do not know what to do, I think that I will never know the truth and will never respect her again, I stay married for my children because they are the ones who will be devastated.

How do I find out the truth?? Its destroying me.

[Vie]

I think what you need to do is to move on. You do not need this crap.

 

 

First off, she kept on talking about him in regular basis, then she cheated on you.. if you think about it, do you think she even cared/cares about your feelings? Relationship is supposed to be based on trust and honesty. I think she had disrespect those. If you are confused to find out the truth, you have another problem.. communication. Do you think those things above are fixable?

 

 

I know that things must be real difficult for you but that doesn't mean you cannot do anything about it. As sad as it may sound, but I believe you are better off without her. As for the children, you didn't mention how old they were. Im sure one day they will understand what's going on. But for now, save your heart.

Marriage is supposed to be cherished and not based on cheat or lies. Forced feelings will explode one day and it will cause even more worse result.

 

 

*~Vie~*

[Pained]

I'm willing to bet she did cheat. All the signs are there. However, even if she didn't, she's playing childish games with you. Don't let your children grow up thinking this is ok. If you want to try to make this work, see if she's open to marriage counseling. Otherwise, I'd recommend getting a lawyer and knowing your rights, both financial and with regards to your children.

[faux]

If your wife did cheat on you, she was unfaithful, and this is wrong. If your wife simply lied to you about having been unfaithful, she was lying, and this is also wrong. Either way, I see this as a bad thing. I do not understand her logic of lying to you, because she was angry at your questioning. Furthermore, if you had to question her, perhaps you may want to think about leaving her.

[Bryanp]

Hello,

 

It seems pretty obvious that she probably cheated on you and enjoys lying to you.

She changes her story when you get angry. She shows very little remorse. How sad that you have to live your life with such a person.

[Matilda]

I don't know jetset, after looking at this post, and your other post, I think you're right when you say:

"I do not know what to do, I think that I will never know the truth and will never respect her again, I stay married for my children because they are the ones who will be devastated."

 

I think the best thing to do, would be for you both to go to a marriage counselor, someone impartial who can help the 2 of you to communicate without all this game playing. Then you can find out for sure what is going on. After you know what the truth is, then you can decide how you want to deal with it. But I definitely think you need someone else who is objective to help you get to the bottom of it.

 

Good luck and take care.