getting him whipped for life

[groovygirl06jm]

My boyfriend is away in vaccation. He recently called his best friend and told him he was confused about me, he said

 

it was due to all the things that were going on with him like seeing his ex and the fact that when he gets back he

 

will be moving away to college. And then asked him to tell me how he felt, so his friend rang me and we met up. We

 

had a long talk I told him that I too was a little concerned about it, and the best thing was to wait for him to get

 

back to talk and figure out what we would do

 

and I think it's good that my boyfriend is being honest but I didn't like having his friend talking to me about him, I

 

think it's personal and we should keep just between me and him. Anyways, what does it mean he is confused? I

 

really like him and I am willing to do anything to make it work. what's the best thing I can do to win him back? And to

 

let him know he can trust me?

confused girlfriend

[HokeyReligions]

Only he can tell you what he means about him being confused. Before you make any rash decisions about "doing anything to win him back" wait until you talk with him. If he doesn't want to be in a committed relationship with you, then let him go and move on. It wasn't meant to be.

 

Think about what goals and boundaries you need in a relationship, and how your priorities fall. His may not be the same and if that is the case, then its not a good match.

[EC]

You can start by talking directly to him and not to his friend.

 

Those are things you have to discuss with eachother. Communication is a very big part of making it work and especially if he is going to be out of town and you will have an LDR.

 

About him being confused it could be a lot of things. He's leaving..he's starting college...he's probably wondering if he's delaying a long goodbye or heartbreak with you and if he should continue dating you know that hes leaving.

 

You need to have a one on one with him and talk about everything.

 

Don't try to win him back.. just be yourself and let him see the girl he liked to begin with. Let him know how much you care and that your willing do do anything to make it work. He might need to hear these things from you.

[Fayebelle]

I don't trust anyone who gossips about a friend's personal thoughts told to them in confidence. He sounds like a good old fashioned trouble maker. Keep your relationship just between the two of you and you can eliminate a lot of this turmoil.

[Philos-opher]

Um hi, well im going to speak on behalf of the guys for this one. Its true that he should be talking to you instead of his friend, but sometimes we just need to hear from a friend (male or female) that what we are thinking is normal and sane. I personally talk to a female friend of mine who is her best friend to see if i'm sane in my thoughts, and that im not just in a trance. But it should be the friend who needs to tell the confused one to talk to his gf, so in this case, the guy u are talking to should tell his friend that he should really be talking to you, and not him. If he really cared about his friend and your relationship, then he would understand. I have also been in that situation, and I understood, so yay me, and that just proves to it is possible to make that concept work.

 

As for the confused part, haha, that is typical of a guy, especially for guys who are goin to college. That is such a huge change in our lives. I personally am currently going to that change, (sort of how i stumbled on this) but I am leaving high school early to enter college and my gf hates the idea. She thinks I should stay for my senior year, but if she knows whats best for me, which she does, then she will accept my decision. Similarly, he needs to her from you that you will try everything to keep the relationship working, and if that scares him, then he is not committed enough to the realtionship and future prospects. I am very secure of being committed to one girl for the rest of my life, and if this one girl told me that she wanted thinks to work, that would just make everything better.

 

Now you mentioned something about an ex-gf, well that can also be why he is confused. You see, my gf and I broke up (cuz she didnt feel things were working and i was moving too fast??? whatever), and i started going out with some other girl that i really liked. Well then she (current gf) started to have feelings for me again, and I had never really stopped liking her, so i decided to go back to her, knowing she was the best thing to happen to me. Well later she told me that she loved me, (via text message while i was on vacation) and so now, in a couple days i will reciprocate those three special words to her, now that i am finally being sure of how i feel. The point is, that could be why he is confused, maybe he still has some feelings for the ex-gf, but only he knows. You need to talk to him. I'm sure you don't want to be drug around in a mess of a relationship if indeed he is considering going back to her.?. I immediately broke up with my "during-a-break" gf when the first and current gf told me that she still had feelings during prom. I hate seeing people get hurt, especially a girl in this situation, because i was partially in that situation, but we dont need to go there. The message in short, TALK TO HIM, and MAKE HIM TALK TO YOU, NO MATTER WHAT!!! No matter what the cost ($$$ of phone bill) call him or have him call you. Who knows he might find it more attractive that you want to help him think about stuff, i know i would and did, and we have never been closer.