weird return pop up in my life

[Mochalatte]

Three years ago, at the onset of my seperation with my now exhusband, I began seeing a man that I knew 20yrs ago. He wanted to date me in highschool and continued to follow me thereafter...but I moved away to college and married. And he ended up doing the same. Only later to divorce. He looked me up after his divorce, and was told I was married. So life goes on.

After reconnecting during my seperation and pending divorce, he told me he was also going through a seperation. His 2nd marriage had dissolved due to his wife's alcoholism. We saw each other for 9mts. We both professed we loved one another..he promised me forever...etc. Said he has always hoped to be with me since highschool. And how disappointed he was when he was divorced first time that I was married.

 

Well, the bottom fell out at crunch time when he was "supposingly" giving her divorce papers. She had no idea of anything going on...bad marriage or anything. She flipped out. They had a come to Jesus moment and she decided to get help for her drinking. And he said he would stay to see if it really happened. Because he made vows to her in front of everyone. He told me he couldn't ask me to wait bc he didn't know how long it would take...After saying I love yous and goodbyes forever...I argued for him to rethink...and what he had told me. He then got angry-like hurt angry... and told me it was all a lie. That he was a jerk. That I didn't deserve someone like him. That I would forget him and move on. I was speechless...and said a forever goodbye. I cut all ties, even email and social website ties. And she forbid him internet access period. Six months later, his wife sent me a fb post using his old account. she was calling me names and etc. I contacted him via his job to tell him that he needed to put a stop to it. And deleted and blocked him. He had taken a leave of absence. Secretary halfhazzardly told me that something had happened to his wife...but she was okay...and was going to get help. I assumed suicide bc it sounded tragic. I left it all alone.

 

FF to now, 3 years later...he shows up on my fb page(it is public for family personal reasons). He simply liked something posted about not being heard at home. But, he was using a family members name who was like a mother to him. It was THEIR page he was using. I clicked on it to find that this family member was dying. And he had taken over their page by posting updates.

 

I googled him, to find that his wife is 5 months pregnant. Now why in the hell would he be looking at my page after 3yrs and present himself? Especially with a baby on the way! Why would my life even be significant?.... he has made no other attempt to contact me. Maybe it was a way to inform me that this very special person was dying? But the dang post he liked was sort of no one listens to me "family downer." And it has been a week. AND for the record...I will NOT go there with him. But why do these men do that? If he really did love me, he wouldn't still be with her and with a baby on the way Just rehashed alot of sad times...I went through 2weeks of severe depression. And from I understand, he took it pretty bad as well...at least that was what his wife's email said.

Edited September 27, 2012 by Mochalatte

[Mochalatte]

oh yeah, he has always lived three hours away...still does.

[veryhappy]

He passively contacted it you to give you the "poor me" routine( relative dying), not considering the effect on you and frankly not caring about your 2 weeks of severe depression. He wanted to contact you, so he did. You paid the price.

 

I'd normally say inform the wife, but as she's a basket case, you want to avoid that.