KANSAN Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 MY WIFE AND ME HAVE BEEN DIVORCED FOR ABOUT 3 MO, SHE WANTED THE DIVORCE BECAUSE SHE DID NOT LIKE THE I HANDLED GETTING UPSET, I WOULD SHUT DOWN AND NOT COMMUNICATE IT SEEMED POINTLESS AND A WAIST OF TIME IF I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND "HER POINT" THE DISCUSSION HAD TO CONTINUE SO SHUTTING DOWN WAS ONE OF THE ONLY WAYS TO GET SOME PEACE. WE HAVE A 2YR DAUGHTER THAT IS MY WORLD, THE EX SOMETIMES SAID THAT SHE WISHES THAT I WOULD LOVE HER AS MUCH AS I LOVE MY DAUGHTER. I THINK THE DIVORCE IS BECAUSE I SHOWED MY DAUGHTER SOOO MUCH LOVE, SHE IS MY FIRST AND ONLY CHILD. WHEN I CALL MY EX NEVER SEAMS TO BE AROUND MY DAUGHTER FOR ME TO TALK TO HER, MY DAUGHTER TRIES TO TALK AND I LIKE HEARING HER VOICE. I TRIED SO HARD TO MAKE THINGS WORK THE BEST THAT I KNOW, THERE WAS SO MUCH THAT I NEEDED TO LEARN. I FEEL THAT I NEEDED MORE TIME TO LEARN HOW TO BE A GOOD DAD AND HUSBAND. THE EX FELT THAT 1 1/2YRS WAS ENOUGH TIME TO BECOME THE IDEAL HUSBAND. WE HAD TALKED ABOUT DIVORCE BEFORE AND SHE HAD CONTACTED A LAYER BUT SHE DECIDED TO GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE AND WHEN THAT DIDN'T WORK OUT SHE ALREADY HAD THE PAPERWORK READY AND HAD A DIVORCE IN A COUPLE OF DAYS...WOW! MY QUESTION IS HOW COME I HURT SO MUCH I MISS MY DAUGHTER, I THINK SHE DIVORCED ME BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO HURT ME BY NOT LETTING ME BE WITH MY DAUGHTER EVERY DAY I WOULD HAVE PUT UP WITH ALMOST ANYTHING TO MAKE MY MARRIAGE AND FAMILY WORK, THATS ALREADY OVER I JUST WANT TO MOVE ON SEE MY DAUGHTER AND BE CIVIL P.S. IN MY APARTMENT PARKING LOT MY CAR WAS VANDALIZED ONLY MY CAR THE POLICE AND EVERYONE ASKS ME IF ANYONE IS AFTER ME JUST AFTER THAT HAPPENED MY EX TELLS ME THAT SHE IS SEEING SOMEONE NOT 1MO AFTER THE DIVORCE. Link to post Share on other sites
Olivia_19742004 Posted July 28, 2004 Share Posted July 28, 2004 Please don't use caps to write. It makes it hard to read. Don't you have some form of custody rights regarding your daughter? Link to post Share on other sites
wildturkey Posted July 28, 2004 Share Posted July 28, 2004 You hurt because you are human. Also because you probably miss your exwife and definitely your daughter. If you have legal visitation use that time to see your daughter and the rest of the time for yourself. If you do not have legal visitation seek legal advise. As far as vandalism - may be directed to you. Be careful and use common sense and "shields up". Get along with your exwife the best way you can and do not let her see or know that you are hurting. Find things to do. Call your daughter at a time that she is there and a reasonable time. Always leave a message - no hung-ups. Be positive and polite. Start keeping notes of the time and date that you call and when you talk how long did you talk. Also, if your ex is preventing you to speak to your girl, you will have a log that you can refer to if needed. Do not tell her you are doing this for obvious reasons. You have the right to talk to your daughter. When you see your daughter let her know that you will leave messages and to call you back when she listens to the messages if she is of age to use a phone. Otherwise, remember the objective is to talk to your daughter not your ex. If you do not see your daughter enough because of a legal visitation order. FInd out when you can change it next and I will share with you a great incremental schedule that a judge will not refuse if you have been doing everything right. Hope this helps. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KANSAN Posted July 28, 2004 Author Share Posted July 28, 2004 Thanks for the support, I do have legal visitation she does'nt bother with that, I would just like to maby speak with my daughter other times than when I see her, I try to be nice but it's hard she does'nt make it easy and sometimes I slip and as far as keeping a journal, thats good advice that I've been told before but just did'nt think that she would be this mean I will keep one from here on out. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
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