Lovejoy's Update

[lovejoy41]

Hello again my fellow love shackers, I took a much needed break from here to allow myself a fair chance to heal. Most of you are familiar with my story "5 year/FWB Sucks". Well here's my update. I have been in no contact for 2 1/2 months and have not initiated contact nor do I plan to. I am happy, I've lost 14lbs, and although he crosses my mind from time to time I don't cry like I used to and have accepted how I played a role in that "joke of a relationship" if that's what you want to call it. Since I posted here the ass**** tried contacting me. He effortlessly reached out with his little breadcrumbs of a text. On 8/3 all he said was "What's up"? I think I mentioned this before. Well since then (and I'm gonna go a little off subject here)I had heard some things about my ex husband and decided to be nosy.

 

I went on to a county jail website and saw that my ex-husband was in some trouble. This was on Sept 12. I had this feeling that I should search my ex fwb name. I had no idea why I felt that because I've never done this before. So I proceeded to put his name in and.... "wait for it, wait for it" his name came up!!! It seems that karma has reared her ugly head in his life. The info showed that he'd been arrested for DUI, speeding, and a open container in his car on 7/29. I couldn't believe it! Why? Because only 11 days before that he had cursed me, called me a bi**h amongst others things after being confronted about the live-in gf that I knew nothing about. I referred to all of this in my original post. So yes, it's like he was getting back what he'd dished out. He bonded out the same day & I'm sure his gf helped him. He was arrested early Sunday morn and released sun afternoon.

 

So what does that mean? Well it means that he was out all night somewhere. Not that it's my concern anymore but this just reassured me that I'd made the right decision in cutting contact with him. I wouldn't want to be his live-in gf sitting at home, he doesn't come home, only to find out that he's been arrested for a DUI. It appears that I dodged a bullet with him. He's her problem now. I mean who wants to go through that with someone? Not me!!! Anyway, that was my recent discovery.

 

Since then, I'm still chugging along happily. I'm keeping busy, thanking god that I'm free. My head is clear, I'm not stressed, and I sleep well since getting rid of him. Well I'm on the phone talking with my sis and cousin about life and guess who texts me while I'm on the phone? YES, HIM!!! This was on 9/19 last Wednesday around 9:30 at night. Once again, it's nothing more than effortless breadcrumbs. He just says "Hey". Of course, I laugh and tell my sis and cousin. Mind you both times that he's tried I've ignored him and immediately deleted the texts.

 

I guess he thought that I would've cooled off by now and would fall for the crap I used to and we'd be off to dinner, drinks, and a room again. I think NOT!!! He has a gf so I don't know what he wants with me especially after all of the crap he said to me and his actions. I guess when he sat in that jail for 9 hours & only 11 days after he did what he did to me he begin to miss and wonder about good old lovejoy! He has to go for his arraignment on Mon 10/1. So, I can't do anything but pray for him. I'm done with him and don't intend to go back. So if he was reaching out for his ego stroke, sympathy, armchair therapy, or just a plain old booty call, he didn't get it from me. I feel like if he truly was remorseful for what he'd done or had something important to say he would say it in the text or he would call and leave a message. He obviously hasn't changed since he's only texting once a month and I'm positive that him and his live-in are still together.

 

I've moved on, I'm happy and at the right time looking forward to meeting a man who has his s*it together and will be able to give me the relationship that I deserve. I just wanted to update you guys on everything. I don't know if he will contact me again. My friend told me that she thinks that he gets it now. That now he knows that I'm done with him since I've ignored him twice. I hope that he doesn't contact me again. It's like when I was hurt I wondered if he would contact me again and it never happened. As soon as I've moved on and thinking less and less about the nut he starts texting. When he does that it distracts me and I find myself wondering all over again. So it would do me good if he didn't reach out ever again. He's a jerk and he's giving his gf just as much hell as he gave me so I hear. Sooo, long story short in a few more months I'll be even better than I am now.

 

Sticking with NC and looking forward to a big bright future! To those of you who are going through something similar, hang in there. Men and women like this never miss the water until their well runs dry! So, all I have to say is... keep on missing it buddy! It's his loss!!!! What I've learned & what we must remember is that we have to love ourselves enough to know when to walk or let go. YOU are responsible for your own happiness. No one can do what you don't allow them to do. Any opinions or thoughts are welcome and I hope you guys are all doing well with your situations. I love you all and thank you to those of you on here who gave me input and helped me through this when I first posted on here.

[sweetheart5381]

Hello again my fellow love shackers, I took a much needed break from here to allow myself a fair chance to heal. Most of you are familiar with my story "5 year/FWB Sucks". Well here's my update. I have been in no contact for 2 1/2 months and have not initiated contact nor do I plan to. I am happy, I've lost 14lbs, and although he crosses my mind from time to time I don't cry like I used to and have accepted how I played a role in that "joke of a relationship" if that's what you want to call it. Since I posted here the ass**** tried contacting me. He effortlessly reached out with his little breadcrumbs of a text. On 8/3 all he said was "What's up"? I think I mentioned this before. Well since then (and I'm gonna go a little off subject here)I had heard some things about my ex husband and decided to be nosy.

 

I went on to a county jail website and saw that my ex-husband was in some trouble. This was on Sept 12. I had this feeling that I should search my ex fwb name. I had no idea why I felt that because I've never done this before. So I proceeded to put his name in and.... "wait for it, wait for it" his name came up!!! It seems that karma has reared her ugly head in his life. The info showed that he'd been arrested for DUI, speeding, and a open container in his car on 7/29. I couldn't believe it! Why? Because only 11 days before that he had cursed me, called me a bi**h amongst others things after being confronted about the live-in gf that I knew nothing about. I referred to all of this in my original post. So yes, it's like he was getting back what he'd dished out. He bonded out the same day & I'm sure his gf helped him. He was arrested early Sunday morn and released sun afternoon.

 

So what does that mean? Well it means that he was out all night somewhere. Not that it's my concern anymore but this just reassured me that I'd made the right decision in cutting contact with him. I wouldn't want to be his live-in gf sitting at home, he doesn't come home, only to find out that he's been arrested for a DUI. It appears that I dodged a bullet with him. He's her problem now. I mean who wants to go through that with someone? Not me!!! Anyway, that was my recent discovery.

 

Since then, I'm still chugging along happily. I'm keeping busy, thanking god that I'm free. My head is clear, I'm not stressed, and I sleep well since getting rid of him. Well I'm on the phone talking with my sis and cousin about life and guess who texts me while I'm on the phone? YES, HIM!!! This was on 9/19 last Wednesday around 9:30 at night. Once again, it's nothing more than effortless breadcrumbs. He just says "Hey". Of course, I laugh and tell my sis and cousin. Mind you both times that he's tried I've ignored him and immediately deleted the texts.

 

I guess he thought that I would've cooled off by now and would fall for the crap I used to and we'd be off to dinner, drinks, and a room again. I think NOT!!! He has a gf so I don't know what he wants with me especially after all of the crap he said to me and his actions. I guess when he sat in that jail for 9 hours & only 11 days after he did what he did to me he begin to miss and wonder about good old lovejoy! He has to go for his arraignment on Mon 10/1. So, I can't do anything but pray for him. I'm done with him and don't intend to go back. So if he was reaching out for his ego stroke, sympathy, armchair therapy, or just a plain old booty call, he didn't get it from me. I feel like if he truly was remorseful for what he'd done or had something important to say he would say it in the text or he would call and leave a message. He obviously hasn't changed since he's only texting once a month and I'm positive that him and his live-in are still together.

 

I've moved on, I'm happy and at the right time looking forward to meeting a man who has his s*it together and will be able to give me the relationship that I deserve. I just wanted to update you guys on everything. I don't know if he will contact me again. My friend told me that she thinks that he gets it now. That now he knows that I'm done with him since I've ignored him twice. I hope that he doesn't contact me again. It's like when I was hurt I wondered if he would contact me again and it never happened. As soon as I've moved on and thinking less and less about the nut he starts texting. When he does that it distracts me and I find myself wondering all over again. So it would do me good if he didn't reach out ever again. He's a jerk and he's giving his gf just as much hell as he gave me so I hear. Sooo, long story short in a few more months I'll be even better than I am now.

 

Sticking with NC and looking forward to a big bright future! To those of you who are going through something similar, hang in there. Men and women like this never miss the water until their well runs dry! So, all I have to say is... keep on missing it buddy! It's his loss!!!! What I've learned & what we must remember is that we have to love ourselves enough to know when to walk or let go. YOU are responsible for your own happiness. No one can do what you don't allow them to do. Any opinions or thoughts are welcome and I hope you guys are all doing well with your situations. I love you all and thank you to those of you on here who gave me input and helped me through this when I first posted on here.

 

Glad to hear you are doing well!

 

Keep up the NC It really does work wonders!

[lovejoy41]

Thanks sweetheart! Wed will be 3 months since I last saw him. I have not contacted him since 7/26 although he tried 9/19. It feels good to be free.