he confuses me

[confused456]

I've known him a year. started talking online, realized we had a ridiculous amount in common, couple days later started texting. literally everyday since we started. usually about 100 per day, more on weekends. he never wanted to make plans though. which never bothered me.

 

a few months ago I went on a few dates with this other guy. on the way home from one, my friend tells me its time we hung out. so we make plans to watch a mutually favorite movie. had a great time. about two weeks later, he asked about the guy I'd been seeing. When I told him it was over, he didn't really say much for a day or two. and then he started flirting. hard. I normally don't realize someones actually flirting with me. this was obvious stuff. for a couple days. and then we ended up sexting one night. almost have a couple times since.

 

one night during the heavy flirting, we challenged each other to a poker game. winner picks the prize. I was throwing out silly stuff I could make him do, like streaking or wearing a purple wig to work one day. he made it clear that I could have anything I wanted, including sexual favors. and joked about having me give him head (he followed it by saying that he was joking he'd never expect anything like that for a card game, but i could still have anything i wanted). we were supposed to wrestle and if he won he got to smack my ass.

 

thing is, whenever we hang out, nothing happens. nothing at all.

 

so heres why im so confused.

 

one the one hand, he's a great friend. we talk about everything and anything, he can be really sweet at times and he's very intelligent. he came over 2 hours early the other night just so he could play a game with my daughter and I. he's barely been around kids, and they kind of scare him, but he was great with her. we do flirt. things went from him not wanting to make plans, to him wanting to figure out the next time we're gonna hang out before whoever drove leaves. I very seldom text him first, he almost always texts me. when we have talked about sex before (in a conversational way) hes told me a few things about me he finds intriguing (his word).

 

then again, if i mention something like the guy at the gas station telling me I was cute, he'll ask if I got his number. when i had my class reunion a couple weeks ago, he knew I was a lil tipsy and i told him one of my classmates had been flirting with me. when he knew I was home, he asked if I'd taken an old crush home to get it out of my system (when i said no he told me he knew I wouldn't anyways, he was just teasing me). usually after i tell him something like that, he'll tell me a couple days later about some girl that flirted with him. we're not doing the friendly flirting thing as much, lately its like its a lot of normal conversation, a bit of flirting, and one or two times a week sex is a topic. he'll randomly say something like "I need laid" but then follows up with saying he won't do anything about it.

 

he's a lot different from the guys I'm used to. for one, he's gone 5+ years without sex, just because he doesn't want a random thing and he's too shy to talk to a girl. thats another thing. hes very shy. he's told me idk how many times that hes never asked a girl out, or told her he liked her first. he's always waited for the female to say something. no first moves either. he's told me idk how many times that he likes to take his time with a female, not jump into anything (including kissing).

 

truth is, I'm really into him. I think he's an amazing guy. I just don't know how to tell if he's into me or not. I suck at picking up hints, and im horrible at signals and body language.

[todreaminblue]

I've known him a year. started talking online, realized we had a ridiculous amount in common, couple days later started texting. literally everyday since we started. usually about 100 per day, more on weekends. he never wanted to make plans though. which never bothered me.

 

a few months ago I went on a few dates with this other guy. on the way home from one, my friend tells me its time we hung out. so we make plans to watch a mutually favorite movie. had a great time. about two weeks later, he asked about the guy I'd been seeing. When I told him it was over, he didn't really say much for a day or two. and then he started flirting. hard. I normally don't realize someones actually flirting with me. this was obvious stuff. for a couple days. and then we ended up sexting one night. almost have a couple times since.

 

one night during the heavy flirting, we challenged each other to a poker game. winner picks the prize. I was throwing out silly stuff I could make him do, like streaking or wearing a purple wig to work one day. he made it clear that I could have anything I wanted, including sexual favors. and joked about having me give him head (he followed it by saying that he was joking he'd never expect anything like that for a card game, but i could still have anything i wanted). we were supposed to wrestle and if he won he got to smack my ass.

 

thing is, whenever we hang out, nothing happens. nothing at all.

 

so heres why im so confused.

 

one the one hand, he's a great friend. we talk about everything and anything, he can be really sweet at times and he's very intelligent. he came over 2 hours early the other night just so he could play a game with my daughter and I. he's barely been around kids, and they kind of scare him, but he was great with her. we do flirt. things went from him not wanting to make plans, to him wanting to figure out the next time we're gonna hang out before whoever drove leaves. I very seldom text him first, he almost always texts me. when we have talked about sex before (in a conversational way) hes told me a few things about me he finds intriguing (his word).

 

then again, if i mention something like the guy at the gas station telling me I was cute, he'll ask if I got his number. when i had my class reunion a couple weeks ago, he knew I was a lil tipsy and i told him one of my classmates had been flirting with me. when he knew I was home, he asked if I'd taken an old crush home to get it out of my system (when i said no he told me he knew I wouldn't anyways, he was just teasing me). usually after i tell him something like that, he'll tell me a couple days later about some girl that flirted with him. we're not doing the friendly flirting thing as much, lately its like its a lot of normal conversation, a bit of flirting, and one or two times a week sex is a topic. he'll randomly say something like "I need laid" but then follows up with saying he won't do anything about it.

 

he's a lot different from the guys I'm used to. for one, he's gone 5+ years without sex, just because he doesn't want a random thing and he's too shy to talk to a girl. thats another thing. hes very shy. he's told me idk how many times that hes never asked a girl out, or told her he liked her first. he's always waited for the female to say something. no first moves either. he's told me idk how many times that he likes to take his time with a female, not jump into anything (including kissing).

 

truth is, I'm really into him. I think he's an amazing guy. I just don't know how to tell if he's into me or not. I suck at picking up hints, and im horrible at signals and body language.

 

 

Take it slow, do what feels right and if it doesn't feel right don't do it. If he likes to take it slow I guess you don't have much choice but to take it that way if you think he is amazing then you will respect his pace.The fact that he wants to make plans with you ahead of time is a good sign.

 

 

When I am interested in someone I say really random things because of shyness ....I wont tell you the most recent random conversation I had, but believe me when i say it was random......Shyness does happen when someone or something is important and you are insecure about the reaction or result that might occur.Wanting to take things slowly is a way around shyness getting to know someone really well before you open up.Spend more time with him and his shyness may dissipate the more he understands you and how you feel.....

 

best wishes .....deb