I'm still in love with my ex after 1 year of moving away

[moogle]

Ok well I'll try to summarize this as close as I can.

 

I lived in NC. My ex and I were together for about 8 months and then I had to move to TX because my mom got remarried (she married a pilot so I'd like to point out that I have free flights any time), and I'm 17 so I had no choice but to go with her. Me and my ex, Patrick, were so in love (I know I'm 17 but I hope you people know that love isn't just for adults lol. Just to point out, it was true love, none of that lust and naive bullsh*t.... I'd do anything for him and he'd do anything for me and we hated being apart). We were always together, basically 24/7, we lost our virginity to each other, we were each other's first love.

 

When I moved to TX last June, he broke up with me cause he couldn't handle the distance and not seeing me (even though I get free flights and stuff). Then we got back together for a few months around September through January. Patrick is like no other guy I've ever met, I just can't explain it. He has a lot of faults but I easily look past them because I love him and care about him more than anyone else. And I believe he still loves me in a different way - not of the same magnitude as when I lived in NC, but he still has feelings for me and all, I think. We both haven't love anyone else since the break up.

 

Anyway... I have had a few bfs in TX and I just can't get over Patrick and it's been a year since the "real" brake up last June. And he can't find anyone he really likes either. We talk almost everyday online, but never on the phone. I'm visiting NC right now so I've seen him and we've been acting like we did when we went out and cuddling and stuff like that. I feel so happy around him and I believe it's meant to be. I just am scared of pushing him because he doesn't know I have fallen in love with him again I don't think; and he may get uncomfortable and I don't want that. I just need some advice or even personal experiences like this that maybe I could benefit from? I am just gonna focus on my career goals and school and stuff when I get back to TX and not worry about relationships right now, because I want to wait for him. Any advice is appreciated, thanks.

[uriel]

You're wise to give things time: too young to get married, many important decisions just around the corner.

 

It's hard to say what the future holds for you and Patrick. All you can and should do is keep a connection with him -- as long as that's not too painful -- and focus on school now and college / career after. You'll meet still more new guys and might find a connection with one -- different than the connection with Patrick, but equally good in its own way.

 

If neither you or Patrick does find such a new connection, likely you will meet back up with one another again. There's always that possibility. Just don't pressure it into happening too soon, when you're both too young for that level of commitment.

 

Sounds like you've a good head on your shoulders. Keep thinking your feelings through and acting on your good sense.

 

-- uriel

[marykatebergner]

In response to your posting, I am in a very similar position to you. I am in my 20's, and I have been doing this crazy distance thing with the guy I love for the last 2 and a half years (we live on different continents, and no free flights!). I hear you-we were so crazy about eachother when we were together and all this time apart is incredibly hard but we have to stick it out (for at least 1 more year as I have to finish studyin). My boyfriend is very, very handsome and quite a wild guy, and totally hard work, so it drives me crazy to be so far away from him all the time, but then again I love him more than anything and blatantly nobody compares to him in my eyes, even after all this time apart (and he clearly feels the same about me).

 

He is a typical meathead guy though, in the sense that he is quite macho and doesnt talk about how he is feeling a lot, which makes it even harder!! It is very, very hard and we have no guarantees-I miss him all the time, and we only get to speak on the phone once a week because long distance is so expensive. I think it can get pretty rocky but then at the end of the day, we both have had all this time to date other people if we wanted, to find someone else, and with that, and months apart, and thousands of miles in the way, nobody out there has ever matched up, so we know we have something pretty amazing and pretty strong (but it is still always very difficult as you know).

 

I dont think guys think like girls at all - hang in there if you truly love the guy, date other people but dont give up-maintain a friendship, or the visits you both have together, because if he loves you as much as you think, you'll both work out in the end. But remember guys get all freaked out about the commitment thing, so he might be thinking he's met the right girl, but way early, which is probably a bit scary for him and might take him a bit of time to get his head round it.

 

Good luck but any advice anyone else has out there-believe me, I need it too!!!!!

 

Mary Kate

[moogle1]

thank you for the replies. and good luck with you, too, mary.