I am the MM but how do i end it?

[UpwardForward]

I get you. I just wish for any person to be able to avoid this pain if it's possible.

(but it would only be possible if all the stars lined up and the WS and OW are willing to do what needs to be done)

 

ETA: I wonder what the reaction to finding out I had been betrayed maybe a year after the divorce had been finalized. I'm sure I'd be pissed, but I don't know if it would be as intense as finding out during the marriage or as my spouse was leaving.

 

What do you think of that?

 

I might start a thread, just realized I'm jacking this one.

 

Yes, We could bounce it around..

 

I just know that w him denying, each revelation in mos after - it seemed to be shock all over again.

 

So it would be comparing a hard jolt against several small ones ??

 

But IMO it's still the H's responsibility to divulge all to his W.

[Kisa]

Why is it now that your ow demands a D day that you worry about your wife's feeling's? Did you not care when you were lying and deceiving her? Not trying to make you feel bad, but how did you think it would turn out when it started?

[HappyAtLast]

You cannot maintain a relationship with both women. Pick one, know that you will be inflicting hurt, and move on quickly and as kindly and fairly as possible. Anything less that that is abusive, in my opinion.

 

Although, if you have wanted a divorce for sometime, why have you not divorced already.

[NoIDidn't]

I don't think this will end well, even if he does do as the OW says and leaves his W.

 

This often leads to resentment for the pain caused to the W, whether he told her of the A or not. You may not want to stay married to her, but its clear you never wanted to cause her pain.

 

Ending your marriage for your OW in this manner, is not going to go well when you aren't resolute about it.