2sunny Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 Your wife has abandoned the family. She's doing drugs/drinking and/or having an affair... My gut says both. Your daughter would be best served by trying a new beginning after having a child she puts up for adoption. Immediate birth control after delivery is best... So she doesn't have such high risk of another pregnancy. She also needs counseling - much as you do. You need some healthy boundary decisions. Seriously! You have no boundary - that is hurting the entire family! Man up and tell her to stay away since she abandoned the family a long time ago!!! Movies? Holding hands? Sheez!!!!! You're lying to yourself by pretending things are ok - when they clearly AREN'T ok! THAT is why you've been so sick! Your body knows you betrayed yourself! Get a healthy boundary and stick to it! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
intenshnal Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 Hi sweetie. I'm new to the boards, and have yet to tell my story, although am about to. Whether your wife is cheating or not is not really the issue.....what is though is her abandonment of her children, and what transpired immediately pre her change of character. Women go through change of life issues just like men do (it's called mid-life crisis....my husband is going through one right now at age 39!). How often did you guys tell each other you loved each other before this all went down? How often did the two of you go out on "date" night to reconnect and reprofess your love to one another? How often did you two make love, and did the passion ever really die or subside in that regard? Usually one or a combination of these things happen (or shall I say stop happening) right before a mid-life crisis. IMPO, you need to move with your children, even though you really don't want to. What does your attorney say about everything? Would you want her back if you two had counseling eventually and figured out what happened? Knowing in advance this could take months or a year to figure out. Miracles don't happen overnight. You need to know what you want from this....or at least what you think you want. Yes, taking care of yourself and children come first, but you need to separate yourself from her in the meantime. Cut her off from financial support if legally allowed, or at least find out from your attorney what you can do to protect your credit and make sure the kids are provided for per the law. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
intenshnal Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 Just wanted to add that it's not necessary to quit your job and move out of state or anything. Just move into a different home that she doesn't have access to. There's no reason to uproot your stability...you don't need to run away. You just need to show HER that you are serious about removing yourself from her bad behavior and acting like you won't tolerate it and won't compromise what's important to you...which is taking care of your children and living in peace. You can't live in peace if she is coming and going as she pleases. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tiberius Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Sounds like you fell for a ho. I am not saying men here should go all Islam and reject any woman who is not a virgin and refuses to walk 7 paces behind her man, but dont marry anything with tits and ass whom puts out either. The world is huge, if you get the feeling all your picks are single moms, or women whom have mother who took their husband to the cleaners, there are other states and other countries to shop in, at least for men. Link to post Share on other sites
ilovedhim Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Sounds like you fell for a ho. I am not saying men here should go all Islam and reject any woman who is not a virgin and refuses to walk 7 paces behind her man, but dont marry anything with tits and ass whom puts out either. The world is huge, if you get the feeling all your picks are single moms, or women whom have mother who took their husband to the cleaners, there are other states and other countries to shop in, at least for men. Not all Muslims marry virgins, but the religious ones don't fornicate (as it also says in the bible) except most Muslims actually follow their religion. And the women do NOT walk 7 paces behind their men, honestly all the muslim women i know are very happy in their marriages. Don't generalize. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
beatcuff Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 continue with therapy. btw the first couple of sessions are to bring get T up to speed. search this site for '180'. it may snap her 'out of it'. she HAS to be spending time with someone - either an OM or a girlfriend. its just to long and too often to be alone. Link to post Share on other sites
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